A couple of days ago mak orang told me that her husband asked if I would like to interview kak m. The reason being since I know kak m, I could handle her. I told mak orang that I didn’t mind as I was free on the time the interview was scheduled and furthermore I am comfortable with kak m. Cuma my only worry was that I was not familiar with kak m punya portfolio and I might not be able to do a good job. However, mak orang convinced me that it should not be a problem. That nite, mak orang faxed me the questions and on reading them I felt easy as the questions were more to a personality piece. The issues relating to her portfolio were rather general in nature.There arrangement was that I would talk to kak m after her programmme was over. So there I was attending a function officiated by kak m. When I walked in, kak m was halfway giving her speech. I was rather keen on seeing kak m giving her speech as all these while throughout eight years knowing kak m, I have never seen her “in action”. I only spoke to her on several occasions and itupun over the telephone. But I have heard a lot from other media friends about kak m punya performance in her previous portfolio where she served in a different capacity. She was known to be a chatterbox and friendly and she was reported to be an expert in her portfolio besides being committed.
So sitting listening to speech kak m was a different experience. It has been a long time I attended such functions. But somehow within minutes, I felt something funny. It was obvious that kak m was trying her best and at times it became trying too hard – to an extend of making a fool of herself. What was obvious was kak m was yet to get into her new portfolio – dalam kata melayu, kak m belum menjiwai watak baru dia. That was the problem, you can clearly feel that she was out of place. At times, her experience serving in the previous portfolio came in handy but it was not sufficient. Kak m seemed to have learned certain things about her new portfolio but she was not ready yet. She just fell short of it.
I felt sorry for kak m. Yes she had done her homework but something more was needed. In the end, kak m punya speech became merapu rapu. There was a time when she started relating her experience and went on to say how she loved to sing a particular song when she was young. Kak m then said : “mungkin saya perlu menyanyikan lagu itu di sini …. Tetapi tak apalah mungkin lain kali”. Thank god as I just could not have imagined if kak m had actually went on to sing. Kak m gave a speech for thirty minutes and I just wondered whether she realized that no one was paying attention to her and she was talking for herself. Syok sendiri.
Then kak m went on to drop another bombshell. This time around, before she concluded her speech, she thanked the private sponsors who had contributed to make the event a success. She then said: “macam beras jasmine. Semalam saya pergi pasar raya di kuantan. Saya beli beras basmathi jasmine dan beras organic. Saya masak nasi carrot. Caranya cukup mudah, kite perlukan dua biji carrot yang kite kisarkan dalam mesin dan airnya kite masak sekali dalam nasi. Jadi hasilnya adalah nasi carrot.
I was stunned for a minute. Kak m was giving a speech and she was talking about nasi carrot which had nothing to do with her portfolio. It was as if langit dengan bumi bezanya. Entahlah nyah, my conclusion here is that before someone is given a responsibility, they should be judged if they are capable or otherwise. I do not really blame kak m as it was obvious she was not suited for this portfolio. It was just not her. Yes she has done her part but she failed to make it.
Before I conclude, thinking about kak m reminds me to kak nab. This story happened a long time ago. kak nab was in the same predicament like kak m – given a portfolio that did not suit her. I remember attending a function officiated by kak nab. There was kak nab sitting on the stage and while the organizers were giving a speech, kak nab was busy counting the gelang emas on both her hands. And then as the organizer went on to give a speech yang berjela jela, kak nab ended up using the pencil placed on the table to draw things on a piece of paper. From the looks on kak nab punya face, you can feel that she was telling herself – “apalah aku buat kat sini @ aku tengah boring ni”. Talking about that, I wonder what happened to kak nab. It was in 1997 that tragedy befall her – 11 years ago and there has not been any news about kak nab ever since then. I just hope that kak nab is somewhere out there and having the best of her life. Salam to kak nab…. Suddenly I miss kak nab… she suffered due to other people being overambitious...
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