ratu @ primadonnaz

mesej terakhir tv3

2011-02-25T06:17:00.000-08:00

its been some time that i last blogged about a malay drama so lets do it again. furthermore i have not been blogging for sometime (not as if i have millions of fans out there who are eager to read what im blogging about. and in fact i do wonder if anyone do follow or read my entries. but then again) so here is another review - mesej terakhir shown over cerekarama slot tv3 last saturday.

in a nutshell it is about marina (rita rudaini) who upon the death of her husband hafiz (zaefrul nordin) is shocked to discover some intimate messages from another woman on his handphone.

then there is tini (tia zaqyuah) a divorcee with a kid who is in love with hafiz and pines hope that he would one day marry her without knowing that he is actually married. and you have her former husband adam (fizz fairuz) who has repented for being cruel to her and wants her back.

the main setback about this drama was the acting. rita rudaini is indeed a talented actress no doubt and we have seen some of her better and polished performances. but in mesej terakhir, i felt that she did not really give her all. for instance in the first few scenes where she gets a call informing of her husband's death, rita just gave an average and even slightly often repeated performance. that was indeed a let down, and in the subsequent scenes where she is shown as deeply disturbed by her husband's death, her make up was indeed thick and the lip gloss oh my ..... betul betul tak kena. but to give rita credit, she was quite good in the scene where she confronts her friend julia (amyza adnan) if she knew about her husband's affair

as for zaefrul nordin, have not seen much off him after hati malaya 1957. perhaps mesej terakhir could have created more interest if the main male lead role was given to a more popular and better known actor.

tia, amyza and fizz did what was expected of them. wan maimunah did justice to her role as usual while mak engku or ku faridah was not fully utilised in her role as she is far capable

somehow i feel the screenplay was too loose and rather draggy that at times you just lose your interest. and certain things were just not convincing like the ending scene where hafiz writes in his diary that he hopes marina can accept the fact ... err where did that come from. and you have tini in a scene saying all she wants is hafiz and that she can no longer accept adam. and yet immediately on discovering that hafiz is no longer around, she can accept adam

and not to forget, there was a scene when the husband asked the wife for a cup of teh tarik and the subtitle in english read "foam tea" ... aiyooo

and another thing which i dont understand is how did rita managed to trace the restaurant where her husband was supposed to meet the other woman when there was nothing about it mentioned in the sms.

the celebrity

2011-01-22T07:30:00.000-08:00

it all started on a friday morning at about 10am. i was seating boraking next to a colleague C who got a call from another colleague H asking her to open up a blog. so C did as told and we were both reading an entry kutuking our work place. and suddenly i realised that a particular person "S" being mentioned in the blog was yours truly. i just donno how to describe my feelings. i was not shocked nor was i angry. i was just a bit surprised and slightly sad.

it took me a few minutes to come back to my normal self. and as time passed by i was more in control of myself. no, i did not break down nor did i go into a hysterical mode. i was calm and cool.

of course i would like to take this opportunity to thank all those who stood behind me especially princess, legal advisor to the ratu and good friend to the ratu and also some of my senior colleagues and bosses who stood behind me. thank you guys

the best part was H was so baik hati, she thought i was disturbed by the story and went on to pujuk me. and now let me reveal why i was not disturbed by the posting. you see several years ago to be exact in 2008, i had gone thru worst than this when an entire blog was dedicated to expose me. ah that gave me hell as that was the first time i was subjected to such publicity. so being fresh i did not know how to handle fame then. i almost went mad and reached a nervous breakdown point, i would wake up at 2am just to check if there is any new posting on me. but as they say once bitten twice shy, now i am more experienced and matured and along with that i am cool in handling the situation.

and finally, i have this to say - i know who are those responsible for the posting and my instant celebrity status. and these are friends. i have no hated towards you guys. my parents educated me with good manners and they have always told me to forgive those who sin you. in fact, my mum always says that to forgive someone is the best punishment you can give them. with that dont worry guys, i have long forgiven you ... and i cannot blame you and i truly understand you as you simply cannot compete against a DIVA like me so you have to resort to other measures... how sad kan .... kesian you poorly brought up ... i pity you my dear friend ... muahssss

brian austin green

2011-01-15T07:16:00.000-08:00

it has been almost four months or slightly more since i last posted an entry over this blog. and i do not have the reason. maybe i was busy or maybe i just lost the interest. but over the years i have been frequently asking myself who is it actually who reads my blog apart from myself and maybe one or two friends

entahlah then i realised that the blog was moving without any direction, perhaps that explains why i chose not to post any new entries ... until one fine day when i was so tempted to write again. at this junction, i can not say for sure whether i would be writing on a regular basis as in the past or would the enthusiasm die off in a while. for now let us just wait and see how it goes before we make any further decision
and for my first re-entry, i chose tow rite about season seven of desperate housewives ... oh more on a newly introduced character brian austin green (cant remember his screen name) who plays the younger lover of bree. i admit that i was a sucker of the 1990's hit beverley hills 90210 where brian was one of the lead male characters although he was not the main focus then. never had i imagined in my entire life, how brian would turn out in the future say 20 years later in desperate housewives

to say the least he is just perfect, yummy and sizzling ... well what else can i say right ... what a body i was simply drooling watching desperate housewives ... and there are scenes where bree goes on telling her friends they had sex six times and how she just cannot put up with brian's sex appetite ... and that body
just look at the pic above and you will know what i am talking about. what a difference physically phew. and now to desperate housewives, well so far they have only released eight episodes of say 24. all i can say is the series has its moments ... and i believe there would be more emotional aspects especially involving gabrielle and her daughter juanita ... actually these are the scenes that make you hooked to this season's desperate housewives

in the picture below, brian is the one with the white shirt

till then lots of love
b

simply writing

2010-08-18T13:02:00.000-07:00

oh my it has been ages indeed since i last updated my blog. i dont have the exact answer exactly, maybe i was just too occupied with my work OR maybe i have just lost the interest to continue blogging ... entahlah

in fact for a long time i wanted to write this entry. not because i had a story to tell but you see i have been keeping this picture for a long time and i just wanted to post it. there were days in the past when i would go on searching for delicious pictures to be posted but no longer. maybe it is the aging process and perhaps i am getting more matured and no longer wanna tell the whole world what is happening in my life. put it this way as all of us have our own set of stories kan

ni pun im at klia waiting for my flight and im bored and donno what to do as i am too sleepy to read a book. and i have gone through facebook a million times, so suddenly i decided to blog.

finally, i will take a short break and would come back soon and till than take care guys

and now what else to write ...

tamil movies have arrived - GOA - gay relationship

2010-02-18T08:05:00.001-08:00

no this is not the review of a tamil movie. instead i just wanted to jot my views on this movie titled goa (for the proper review please refer to the links below this article).

gay relationships or being gay is considered a taboo in tamil movies. well no movie has dared to touch on this. the closest i could remember of such portrayal was some "rather intimate scenes" during the song sequence mustafa mustafa in the movie kaadhal desham. but then the two actors in that scene played good friends and they were after the same girl. so there were no issues of them being gay and it was just that they were real guys having fun. lagipun maybe at the time of the movie's release back in 1997, homosexuality was not as well acknowledged as now.

other than that, tamil movies have always shown mak nyah in bad light, making fun of them and using them to create laughters in a poor and sickly manner. perhaps an exception to this was thenavattu where the akak akak were portrayed positively.
putting that aside, in goa, there is a gay couple jack and danny. (refer to the pic above, danny or the receiver or bottom is in white sleeveless shirt while jack who is the giver or top is in the sleeveless black shirt). watching them on screen for the first time came as a shock to me that how director venkat prabhu was daring to touch on this sensitive issue although it was only a sub plot. jack's facial expressions and the dialogues were indeed a shocker especially the scene where jack poyurs out his frustration over danny to his friends and the dialogues that follow.

but watching the movie twice, i could feel an intimate scene featuring the lovers was butchered by our sensors and i was wondering what it could be. in my mind, i had various imaginations. so finally there i was watching the movie's pirated dvd. i had expected the dvd not to include the scene as well like in the cinema although deep down my heart i wanted to see it ( in fact i was hoping to buy the vcd in singapore as i thought the censors there would be more lenient). oh boy was i shocked when the dvd actually had the scene. it is about jack who confronts danny and accuses him of cheating with another guy and the dialogues were superb (like what you have heard in other movies except in this one it is about a gay relationship). danny then explains the truth and jack then realises that he had wrongly doubted danny's sincerity. jack then walks to danny and hugs him romantically and so caringly and lovingly. and in the scene jack was naked although they only showed his upper body but you can sense that he was nude. oh my i just simply cannot imagine for the life of me how would the audience react if the scene was shown over the local cinemas. how would the youths have felt, what would the uncles and aunties have done. would people be closing their eyes or looking on the floor or feeling disgusted or disturbed. or would they just be cool.

and finally on the two actors, let us touch on danny or his real name sampath. if only i have a chance to meet him, i would love to ask why did he accepted the role. you see sampath is a well known villain in many tamil movies. he is known for being the bad guy and thus playing the soft gay is truly a transformation. but sampath has proved that he is a born actor through his superb performance and daringness to accept the role. i guess it was also a brilliant move by the director to choose a tough guy like sampath to play the soft lover.

and now jack or aarvind akash. what a delicious six pack body. i wish i could find those pictures and post it in this entry. in most of the scenes aarvind appeared shirtless with a yummy six pack albs. i too am surprised on what convinced aarvind to accept the gay role. in his first movie chennai 600028 he played a hunk who was envied by his friends as he is the first among them to venture into sexual relations with a hot babe. and in his second movie aa aa ee ee, there was nothing much to say about him. all these while, i though that aarvind was over in tamil movies but in goa he just delivered a stunning performance.

for both sampath and aarvind, it must have been a tough decision accepting this role as it could well destroy their manly image. playing a hero or typical role is easy but to accept unconventional roles in a conservative tamil society surely takes guts. bravo guys ...
for more details on the movie or for reviews please check out these websites:

http://www.indiaglitz.com/channels/tamil/review/10958.html

http://tamil.galatta.com/entertainment/review/reviewnews/n/829670553/movie/Goa.html

pisau cukur the movie

2010-02-06T23:06:00.000-08:00

ive wanted to watch this movie when it was out in the cinemas last november but then i missed the chance. since then i had actually forgoten about pisau cukur until i accidentally saw a guy selling the vcd while having dinner at wangsa maju.

what attracted me to pisau cukur was the superb cast who are all popular names and i knew there would be a lot of gedik gedik scenes in this movie. and i was told there was also a scene where "aaron aziz akan menghempap badan fazura" (but till the end of the movie i did not find that scene) hmmmm publicity je kot...

in simple line, the movie tells about two gold diggers bella (maya karin) and intan (nur fazura) who just wanna lead a easy and rich live by getting hooked to rich men. they go on a holiday on a cruise. bella then falls in love with a rich widower datuk hisham (eizlan yusof) and at the same time a young guy called faqir (shahredza minhat) loves bella.

then you have intan who is in love with datuk sharif (radhi khalid). and on the cruise she comes across a private investigator ari (aaron aziz) and the two just hate each other.

also on the cruise is datuk zakaria (datuk rahim razali) and his three wives datin wahidah (khatijah tan), naini (umie aida) and sal (sharifah sofia). plus his two kids johan (nas-t) and suri (liyana jasmay). one day datuk zakaria is killed and intan and ari decide to investigate who the culprit is. that sums up pisau cukur ...

watching pisau cukur, directed by bernard chauly (gol and gincu) you just have to set logics aside and just enjoy the movie. that is still ok but sadly i felt the movie was a bit too loose and the screenplay maybe should have been more focused. at times the movie appeared just too weak and very loose hanging indeed in the air. despite being enjoyable but one had expected more from bernard. and on that note i felt that gol and gincu was more well packed

as for acting, all the cast performed as per expected of their role. also playing cameo appearances are afdlin shauki, norman kru, nabil raja lawak, nabila huda, yasmin yusuff.

however i failed to understand eizlan's characterisation as it appeared to be a bit unexplained and unclear. if i had to choose one person who did slightly more than others, my vote would surely go to shahredza minhat ... oh boy indeed he is cute ... i want him

juara lagu 2009

2010-01-10T23:42:00.000-08:00

INTRO
juara lagu 2009. hmm another year and another juara lagu final. perhaps the most obvious difference this time around was that tv3 decided to do away with the system of labelling the songs into three category where they compete among themselves - balada, pop rock and etnik kreatif. well i got nothing much to say whether they should have just maintained the old method or this new one was better ... entah

HOSTS
to start off, i do not wish to go on and on again. but suffice to say that we are already in 2010, so do we still need the hosts to go on and on trying to act smart or making one liners which only makes a fool of themselves and is simply uninspiring - enuff said for ally iskandar, faizal ismail and cheryl samad. tv3 please do something as just dont embarrass your viewers... oh ya, the script was by ally himself ... how sad and shows his mentality and mindset
SONGS
and now let us go to individual performances (in terms of appearance):

1. Aurora (Estranged) - ok lah performance but could have been better as vocal kurang menyengat
2. Tak Mungkin Kerana Sayang (Alyah/Ajai/Habsah Hassan) - vocal ok but performance biasa je ala ala 80s and 90s
3. Cinta Adam Dan Hawa (Misha Omar/Azmeer/ Loloq) - expected much much better. turned out to be an ordinary affair be it vocals or performzce. the dress was simply out.
4. Masih Jelas (Hafiz/Aidit Alfian/Ad Samad) - simple performance. vocal mantap. entertaining.
5. Situasi (Bunkface/Sam) - entertaining and energetic performance plus powerful vocals but perhaps could have done away using the two kids as they only served as a distraction and somehow spoiled the whole good effort
6. Pakai Buang (Stacy/Edry) - good vocals plus energetic and powerful performance. superb attitude.
7. Pergi (Aizat/Pete Teo/Amran Omar) - soothing vocals. simple performance but heart rendering and touching your emotion.
8. Aku Skandal (Hujan/Noh) - energetic performance with powerful vocals
9. Rindu Terhenti (Tomok/Aubrey Suwito/Tinta) - good vocals plus simple performance but perlu ke the video klip as menyemak je
10. Aku Rindu Sayang Kamu (Black/Yuzai) - i like i like good vocals and superb performance
11. Bengang (Akim/Amir/Sheikh Qalam) - good vocals but at times he appeared to be overdoing it and trying rather too hard
12. Dan Sebenarnya (Yuna/Yuna/Aidil) - dont know what to say. bersahaja maybe a bit too plain but good vocals
13. Kau Aku (Aizat) - feel good performance, superb voice and matching performance
14. Bencinta (Faizal Tahir/Audi Mok/Faizal Tahir) - excellent both vocals and performance
MY PREDICTIONS
1. Best Performance - Bunkface or Stacy or Aizat
2. Best Vocal - Faizal Tahir or Aizat or Black
3. Best Song - Pergi (Aizat)
4. Best Song (runner-up) - Bercinta (Faizal Tahir)
5. Best Song (third place) - Situasi (Bunkface)

RESULTS
1. Best Performance - Aizat (Kau Aku)
2. Best Vocal - Black
3. Best Song - Pergi (Aizat/Pete Teo/Amran Omar)
4. Best Song (runner-up) - Dan Sebenarnya (Yuna/Yuna/Aidil)
5. Best Song (third place) - Bencinta (Faizal Tahir/Audi Mok/Faizal Tahir)

OVERALL
1. the results were expected and i think was justified for all categories, there should not be any controversies, hopefully
2. performance and hosts - as said above
3. production - average but could have been better
4.lastly, on the note, i have two questions:
i. perlu ke datuk farid ariffin jadi one of the judges?
ii. why does datin masnah has to be on the stage to give away the awards? her husband oklah datuk rais menteri but minah ni hmmm what else if not tumpang glamer

cinta adam dan hawa by misha omar

2010-01-09T03:28:00.001-08:00

Cinta adam dan hawa
Terbit di syurga terang di jiwa
Menggerakkan nurani
Mencari kasih suci
Sehingga kita yg tertinggal saling damba
Sentiasa rasa sunyi bersendiri

Mana dia kekasih hati
Mana dia pujaanku yang sejati
Dengarlah bisikan asmaraku

Cinta Adam dan Hawa
Satu bersama satu terpisah
Buat diriku tertanya-tanya
Cinta Adam dan Hawa
Satu harapan, satu sandaran
Buat diriku rindukan dia

Mana dia kekasih hati
Mana dia pujaanku yang sejati
Dengarlah bisikan asmaraku…

Cinta Adam dan Hawa
Satu bersama satu terpisah
Buat diriku tertanya-tanya

Kau yang aku puja
Kau yg aku cinta... oh...
Kasihku di Firdausi

Cinta Adam dan Hawa
Terbit di syurga terang di jiwa
Menjadi saksi impian murni

pergi by aizat (soundtrack talentime)

2010-01-08T03:32:00.000-08:00

Sayu terpisah
hikayat indah kini hanya tinggal sejarah
berhembus angin rindu
begitu nyamannya terhidu wangian kasihmu
hujan lebat mencurah kini
bagaikan tiada henti
kaulah laguku kau irama terindah
tak lagi kudengari
kau pergi... pergi...
sepi tanpa kata
terdiam dan kaku tak daya kau kulupa
apa pun kata mereka
biarkan kenangan berbunga di ranting usia

three idiots

2010-01-04T23:13:00.000-08:00

WHERE do I start? If you had enjoyed Farhan Akhthar's Dil Chatha Hai then you are sure to be swept away by 3 idiots as well. This movie would surely move you to tears and there is no doubt about it.

One can watch this movie for various reasons but to me the most outstanding moment was the highly dramatic scene involving Boney Irani and Sharman Joshi (i shall not reveal too much as not to spoil the suspense). But believe me, this scene is indeed one of the best ever in Hindi movies and I would say that it has been a long long time since we last saw such magnificient moment (the last i could remember is during the song scene in Khabie Khushi Kabhie Gham where Jaya Bachchan who is performing prayers is all awed and emotional to see her son Shah Rukh Khan coming home).

3 idiots starts off beautifully. but within a few minutes you are in for a surprise as what you would have expected to be a shocking moment in the first scene turns out to be something unexpected. the scenes that follow makes you think that 3 idiots is nothing but a comedy without any heart rendering moments. well this is true at least for the first half as the drama only gets in in the second half of the movie.
this movie, directed by rajkumar hirani, is about two friends farhan qureshi (madhavan) and raju rastogi (sharman joshi) who embark on a journey to search for their long lost friend rancho ranchhoddas shamaldas chanchad (aamir khan) .... i guess that is enuff as i do not wish to spoil too much.

3 idiots is not about love and friendship alone. it is more than that, it is about values in life, it is about being who you want to be. that is the clear message which the director wants to convey and he does it brilliantly. madhavan should be praised for the impactful performance in the confrontation scene with his father where he beautifully deliver's the director's message to all parents who have taken it upon themselves to decide on what and how their children's future should be.
one of the main pillar of strength for 3 idiots is the superb acting. you cannot find any fault with the characters or the way they choose to act out a scene. boman irani is just so real that at times you just cant help and hate him for everything. but the last few scenes between him and aamir just makes up for everything. seeing his tears you forgive him for all the wrong doings he has done and for being such a pain. another scene where i felt he was just superb was when he catches the three friends with the leaked exam paper. what a performance.

the movie's heroine kareena kappor has done what is required of her.,. enuff said.

3 idiots surely belongs to aamir khan no doubt, it is his movie and he is the hero, initially you might feel that aamir's facial expressions tend to show a bit of over acting but then when the mystery of who is aamir actually revealed, you begin to understand why he had spotted such facial expressions and behaviour, it is justified as his character required him to be so.

madhavan and sharman joshi are equally commendable, they have given good support and are commendable pair to aamir. sharman at some scenes is such a darling that you just fall in love with him (besides the fact that he is indeed cute).

leaving 3 idiots you might cry or at least feel nostalgic and emotional but that si expected, you might too wanna watch this movei again and witness the magic for the second time.

and dont forget ... aal iz well... watch 3 idiots and you will understand

trust the man

2009-12-28T06:12:00.000-08:00

i have to admit that i know zero about this movie and have not heard about it at all (i wonder if it made it to our local cinemas at all). it was by co-incidence that i saw the dvd in princess collection. the dvd did not have any cover but the pic on top of the dvd of a group of good looking people somehow tempted me to watch it.

from the little research i have done, the movie is a 2006 release and the two big names which i can recognise here is Julianne Moore and David Duchovny (of the popular TV series X Files - hmmm somehow had never liked the series and the actor). it took me only a few minutes into the movie to realise why it would have never been released locally - usage of the word sex and asshole every other second, especially in the first ten minutes.

trust the man revolves around four people tom (david duchovny), his wife rebecca (Julianne moore), her brother tobey (billy crudup) and his girlfriend of seven years elaine (maggie gyllenhaal).

rebecca is an actress while tom is a house husband. the problem between the two is that he is a sex addict and cant just have enough of sex while for rebecca, sex is the last thing on her mind at the moment. tom resorts to an affair and this somehow jeopardises his relationship with his wife.

on the other hand, elaine wants to get married to tobey and have kids but he is just least interested in that and all he wants to do is have fun ie sex. one day, elaine decides that she had enough and calls it quits with tobey

elaine appeared sweet to me and i can understand her feeling. i mean after seven years sharing her life with someone she finally wants to settle down. but again tobey is just not that kind of guy well there are many people like him in real world who are just not ready for commitment. they just want to have fun and expect their partner and everyone else to be like them...

as for acting, suffice to say that the four lead characters delivered what was expected out of them. julianne moore was just a darling.

the movie, directed by Bart Freundlich, was interesting i must admit and had some good moments (watch out the scene in bed between tom and rebecca watching porno and analysing it. just loved rebecca in that scene). but again it was also a bit slow moving. having said all that, it is worth watching especially to feast your eyes on billy crudup ... yummy and also i wish there was more scenes involving justin bartha ....

tersasar di jalanmu

2009-12-27T17:52:00.000-08:00

it was during anugerah skrin recently that i came across a drama titled tersasar di jalanmu. what struck me about this one was the fact that rosnah mat aris won the best actress award for her role. well i have nothing against rosnah and in fact i do enjoy her acting but it was just that she had yet to leave a lasting impression in me with her acting as compared to norlia ramli, wan maimunah and even khatijah tan or kartina aziz. so i was eager to see how powerful was her role in this drama.

later i found that that tersasar di jalanmu was actually an old effort which was in fact shown over rtm some time ago (ada yang kata it has been repeated three times with the first one been in 2006) and it was originally titled lorong neraka.

and thank you to rtm for airing the drama again on sunday and i found out about it as i was browsing thru the tv channels. and of course i made sure that i was there to watch tersasar di jalanmu which won six awards - Drama Terbaik, Pengarah Terbaik (erma fatima), Lakon TV Terbaik, Pelakon Wanita Terbaik, Norish Ismail (Pelakon Pembantu Wanita Terbaik) serta Videografi Terbaik.

i admit that i enjoyed tersasar di jalanmu. but again that could also be due to the fact that i had anticipated it since it won big in anugerah skrin. maybe my perception would have been different had i watched it before anugerah skrin. kudos to erma fatima for coming out with this effort. however, i just felt that erma had too many things to say = practically everything - ranging from drug abuse, sex among young unmarried couples, wife abuse, prostitution, mak nyah and lots more.

it was a daring effort and appeared very real in fact and you just felt that you were watching real life scenes. to add beauty, the drama was shot in lorong haji etaib - the very place where everything happens. another good thing was the drama did not have a list of commercial faces. the better known ones were rosnah, elly suriati, azri iskandar and adlin aman ramli while the rest were lesser known and practically unknowwn, that is where the beauty lies i guess as having commercial faces does not really do justice as we are more concerned about them and not their acting quality.

rosnah indeed lived up her role and it was as if she was indeed playing her true self. no wonder she was named best actress. adlin aman ramli did not have much scope but he did what was expected out of him. elly suriati and azri iskandar also gave their best but again i just had a dejavu feeling as if have watched them in simiar role before ... azri was the usual abusive husband while elly with her buckets of tears (in this aspect, i kind of enjoyed more or less similar role played by norkhiariah and khir rahman in kepompong). norish ismail was a revealtion as she just amazed me (deserving win as best supporting actress).

acting aside, i felt erma should have focused on one or two issues alone and not have a tom yam campur by mixing in everything. the effect of doing this is the plot turns out to be convoluted. again in this aspect, i must compare tersasar di jalanmu with kepompong shown over astro recently. kepompong had more life in it and was realistic whereas tersasar di jalanmu at times seemed was trying too hard. but again whatever it is, kudos to erma for this effort...

kuching revisited: conclusion

2009-11-10T23:17:00.000-08:00

hmm am back in kl. i went to kuching without any other expectation except to attend the reunion. however i came back feeling fulfilled. i had managed to let go off something which i was holding on to myself for rather a long period. and this "stuff" had created additional baggage inside myself. thus that had resulted in me not making an attempt to go back to kuching often. my last trip was a short two day one in kuching in january 2008. i was then in miri for a meeting and instead of going back straight to kl, i stopped over in kuching but it was a brief one. arrived at night, checked in at hotel, went for dinner at top spot and returned back to hotel. the next day had breakfast, went to satok market and was back at kuching airport. and then too i was with friends from the office.

and thus during this trip, all i wanted was to meet old friends and share memories during the reunion. unexpectedly, god is great that i manage to let go the past. i am more relaxed now. i had a good tour of kuching, visited all the kampung and went on a trip down memorylane. the only thing was that i did not go to santubong or bako but again i had covered more than what i wanted to do prior to my trip, so no regrets...

and i decided that i should go back more often but of course that means additional spending but again guess that i am not left with much choice. ya instead of going overseas, i should save the money to go back to my roots, honestly speaking memanglah gi overseas best but nothing beats going back to your own kampung, enjoying the food there, see how changes are and meeting old friends...so with that, i have decided that my next trip would be either late feb or early march...

kuching revisited: day five

2009-11-09T22:23:00.000-08:00

monday 9th november 2009
woke up feeling down as i was supposed to leave for kl hmmmm. went to kopi o korner for breakfast and had laksa sarawak but somehow so and so only. we then went to jalan gambier where i went to this chinese shop and bought three baju kurung material, also bought some pusu and ikan gonjeng as well as the one in kl tak sesedap the one in kuching. we then went back to the hotel to pack up.

after that we checked out at about 1 something and went on one more round round before heading towards the airport. i had three luggages amounting to 42 kg and i was allowed to bring only 20 kg which meant i had to pay extra rm15 x 20kg which was rm300. gulp ... but thanks to yb we managed to find a way but i shall not reveal it. while waiting for my flight we had makan kat one of the shops kat bawah airport. again i had laksa but errrr enuff said. and a few hours later i was in kl ...

kuching revisited: day four

2009-11-08T22:51:00.000-08:00

sunday 8 november 2009
i was to have breakfast with four old girlfriends - shd, rwm za and ri - but then the night before ri send a sms that she was not comfortable meeting in a big group and instead asking if we could do meet only me and her. the thing is that i did not have time and i felt macam malas nak layan so i ignored ri and told her that my programme was rather packed. so i was at chill peppers in rubber road and when i went za was already there and then shd arrived shortly. we were waiting for rwm and she was not too be seen but was smsing shd giving various excuses and finally said that she could not make it well .... i had laksa and the food was just so n so lah

after that we again jalan jalan and passed by my old house in jalan rr, i told yb to stop at the shell station opposite as i wanted to take pic and yb insisted we just go to the house which has isnce been turned into a warehouse selling old junks. i decided to follow his advice although i had mixed feelings stepping into the house which used to be my playground and the place where i grew up ... far too many memories which is hard to be forgotten, enuff said. emotional and melancholic

we then went to this shopping complex alamak tak ingat nama dekat padungan where yb, L and mj had lunch and i just had a drink.

opps lupa nak cakap the night before i got a sms from another fb friend art who asked if i was free for lunch ion sunday. i told him yes and he asked if i have tried ayam penyet and i replied no and he said ok he would take me out for ayam penyet with another two fb friends - fs and na. ok so i told art to pick me up at hilton at 130pm. however as i was still in padungan i then smsd art telling him that i will go straight to raja ayam penyet at jalan haji taha. so there i was at 145pm and all three of them plus hubby na were there. we had what else ayam penyet at raja ayam penyet shop. the thing is i dont really like chicken but i thot what a heck just give it a try. i was pleasantly surprised that the food was so sedap no wonder raja ayam penyet was such a hit. and this statement comes from someone who does not really like to eat chicken. it came with tempe and tauhu and sambal yummy indeed and i must go there again in my next visit. it is a must, i was glad to meet these three fb friends who i do not really know. they asked me when is my next trip and suggested that we go to serikin hmmmm yes yes yes

from there, they dropped me at the hotel. i then went out jalan jalan with yb to kampung dagok to see the house where i was born. the house has long been demolished and what was left now was just a plot of land. yb then took me to a house to buy kek lapis. he told me that the kek lapis at the house is sedap (and only after arriving in kl and tasting the cake i realised how true he was). hmm rugi rasa pulak tak beli banyak. i then went to my uncle place and only got back later at night. oh yes the night before i got another sms from an old friend dh asking me out for a drink. you ee the thing is i was close to dh in primary school but cant remember much of him in secondary school but our friendship blossomed again thru fb. infact i wrote in my blog about my meeting with him while he was in kl recently. so dh picked me up at night and we both decided that we just wanted a drink so dh suggested we go to satok and i was only too keen as i have wanted to go to satok. we had teh tarik but somehow satok has lost its charm but again this could perhaps be attributed to the fact that it was monday night. hmmm

kuching revisited: day three (saturday)

2009-11-07T23:08:00.000-08:00

saturday 7 november 2009
woke up early and went to kopi o korner in satok with yb and L had mee kolok while yb and L had mee jawa satay, we also ordered roti tampal which reminded me very much to roti john. must say that the mee kolok here was good. i ordered mee kolok special which meant i got sup daging as well. yb told me that the mee jawa satay here was better than sate ceko. the sate was good but i think the kuah kacang in sate ceko was more creamier.

after that we went jalan jalan again along petra jaya and satok just revisiting old memories. next stop was sunny hill ice cream shop but unfortunately it was closed (i found out later that they clsoe on saturday).

we then stopped by st joseph. had a good look at my former school which i last visited in 1992 that was 17 years ago. there has been giant changes since those days in terms of infrastructures but my alma matter still remains the same. met puan e who never taught me but knew me and said that "we are proud that u were once our student" - i was touched to say the least. she also mentioned how two of my former teachers were extremely proud and excited about me. but the best part in her kekalutan the teacher said "you do not know me, i know you eventhough YOU did not teach me" errrrr i think what she meant was she did not teach me. i then went all over the school taking pictures and recalling memories of the past era hmmmmm which would never return...

next we went to sarawak club as the reunion organising committee was scheduled to have lunch and post event meeting to settle all outstanding issues. there were only five of us including ac he he, he was wearing a t shirt and three quarter sports shorts. he came late as had family matters to attend... very fatherly figure indeed hmmm. lunch was good not only the food but the company ah these boys are really into gossipping and it was fun gossiping with them for a
change. and one of the most interesting topic about a tecaher who had affairs with students during our time and we were busy tring to find out who those students were he he he. i and yb had to leave early so there good byes not knowing when we would meet again, and again it left a sense of warmness when i hugged ss and th but when it came to ac it was rather subdued. we have agreed to have a reunion in 2014 in conjunction with our 25th reunion. we also agreed to have two gatherings every year on a very simple scale for chinese new year and hari raya hmmmm....

after that we went to pasar satok, hmm what can i say hmm too many things to buy including the must have ikan terubok plus i also got the acar that you eat with keropok goreng. this is not your typical acar buah but it consists of timun and betik and what else. that aside we got belacan bintulu and belacan bako. u know belacan in kl is just not pure and tak sesedap belacan in kuching. and of course the regular bumbu bubur pedas also perencah laksa sarawak. that aside they were also selling various types of kek lapis but i opted to leave that out as macam keras je but then i remember zaman dulu they never sold kek lapis in pasar satok but again times have changed and pasar satok is now a tourist attraction lah kan. i also bought some kuih muih and nasi lemak. well nasi lemak is not really the IN thing in kuching but the sambal has always been different than the ones which u get in kl.

next stop was yee kee bakery (hope i got the name right) kat green road. hmm i have fond memories of this shop as back then when there was was no secret recipe, angel cake house etc this was the most well known place to order birthday cakes and buy buns. but when i stepped into the shop, i realised how the bakery just could not afford to compete with the more cent and established bakeries but was still in existence as perhaps maintaining a heritage, sedih kan but that this is the price you have to pay for modernisation.

oh yes we also went to swee kang ice kacang somewhere near jalan haji taha. dulu swee kang operated a stall at the market near electra house but now they have opened their own shop. the ice kang was simply great but i was just too full to have other things like mee belacan

next we went to the hotel to rehat and later i went to kampung gersik to meet a former teacher dsh. she is no longer teaching in my school but at maktab perguruan. dsh is physically bigger but in terms of attitude and persoanlity she is still very much the same but well i shall keep that details to myself. hmmm ...

kuching revisited: day two (friday)

2009-11-06T23:37:00.000-08:00

FRIDAY 6 NOVEMBER 2009

woke up in the morning and went to sate ceko near jalan haji taha (at the back of tabung haji) for breakfast with yb. had mee jawa satay. excellent although the satay was a bit too keras compared to kl standards but again satay in kuching has always been so. the kuah kacang was simply excellent. and the mee jawa was yummy. must praise this shop as their choice of nasi campur was equally impressive cuma did not have the opportunity to taste them. yb's friend L joined us for breakfast.

after that we took a drive to petra jaya all the way. first we dropped by at yb's house in jalan astana. oh my it brought back memories as the last i went there was a long long time ago that i cant even remember which year was that. visiting yb's house i remembered his late mum and her wide smile. i still remember a black and white picture on the wall at her house where she posed like seniwati filem melayu. somehow she had then reminded me to the late malay movies primadonna saadiah and normadiah. the picture was still very much intact. we then drove all the way passing by jalan astana to kampung gersik/kampung boyan and all the places along petra jaya. on our way back we made a stop at kampung dagok, jalan patingan, jalan haji kasan, jalan muhibbah, jalan abang ateh, kampung ajibah abol, kampung no 1, kampung no 2, kampung no 3, kampung no 4, kampung no 5 and kampung no 6.

yb then drove to satok road where we stopped at buhari cafe to buy the famous nasi briyani. back then it was only rm4.50 but yb told me that the price was now rm6 for briyani ayam and rm8 for briyani kambing. hmm i was all eager to taste nasi briyani as i grew up eating it and i remember that every friday whenever my mum cooked chicken, my dad would buy me nasi briyani kambing from buhari cafe. tasting the briyani again after nine years, it was sedap but somehow entah rasa a bit bland compared to briyani bukhara kambing in mahboob restaurant, bangsar. the rice was a bit keras. hmmm...

later, i and yb dropped by at sarawak club as there was suppossed to be a last meeting before the reunion that night. the first to walk in was gc who i was not close too at all during school days, we exchanged hand shakes and a light hug. next to come was ac. my i had no memories of ac at all but i was amazed at his body. he was wearing a white long sleeve and his body was so muscular and i could clearly see his hard chest. for a moment i was speechless but as much as i try to remember ac i am unable to do so, even a bit. the next to walk in was ss who also i was not
that close to but at least i know him better than ac. this was followed by fj my former naughty classmate who seemed to have slowed down a bit. the last to walk in was th. we inspected the venue to make sure everything was in order and last minute details were all taken care off. we then proceeded to have a drink to discuss last minute details.

we were then back at the hotel and had only an hour to get ready. i was still confused on what to wear between the black and khaki shirt. and i finally settled for the balck shirt. and getting the pants was another difficult choice as i had to choose between jeans, a white pant and a black pant. i thought the jeans was out as too common so i decided to go for the black one as the white one dah pakai a few times.
note: there would be a separate entry on the reunion itself

we left sarawak club after the reunion at about 1130pm. some of the others had adjourned to the next room to have a drink but we thought that we had enuff as we were exhausted and furthermore those who went to the other room were not sober so it was not as if we could sit down and exchange stories ke apa kan. so, we then went to have dinner pasal i and yb were very hungry as we did not have dinner during the reunion coz we were busy running around. but sadly most of the shops were closed and we did not ahve much choice except to go to chillis peppers at rubber road. i had mee kolok goreng and mee tomato. err the food was not really up to my expectation. we then went back to the hotel with a feeling of sadness that the reunion was over .... and we are only left with memories ....

kuching revisited: day one (thursday)

2009-11-05T23:13:00.000-08:00

thursday nov 5
i was supposed to travel to kuching on nov 6 - the day of my reunion and my flight was at 10am and i would have arrived before noon. but then on tuesday, i was talking to a friend and decided to change my flight to thursday. so there i was at the airport waiting for my flight at 11.40am and to arrive in kuching at 1.25pm. about 20 minutes sitting inside the plane there was an announcement that there were some technical problems and that it was being rectified. some 10 minutes later there was another announcement that we had to change our flight which has now been rescheduled at 1.05pm. hmmm what choice do i have. so we all got down and walked to the new waiting hall. although the flight was at 105pm but we only we took off some 20 minutes later and arrived in kuching at 3.25pm. from there, i took a taxi back to the hilton to check in and waiting there was a friend yb who helped me to get the hotel at a discounted rate. not only that but my standard room was upgraded to a junior suite all thanks to the influence of yb. unfortunately the room was not ready yet and thus i have to wait again and while doing that, i was on the fb and reading a book while waiting for th who was the reunion committee chairman to turn up for a short disc on the emcee-ing part.

u see i do not have any fond memories about th as we were not close during school days, even in arranging the reunion, we were not extremely close. thus it was to my pleasant surprise when th hugged me and we went on talking while having drink. the thing about sarawakians is regardless of race everyone talks in bahasa sarawak and that is indeed sweet thou. so after discussion, th offered to take me to the venue of the reunion but i had to reject his invitation as i was scheduled to meet another friend.

so there i was meeting shd. shd is two years my senior but she was the most glamourous girl ever during our school days. i just do not know what was it about sh that attracted everyone to her. perhaps it was the fact that she was beautiful, cute and had a sweet smile, as far as i can remember, shd went out with a few guys during school days and two of them were my good friends. i was not really close to shd but we had some moments then. i have not been in contact with shd ever since we left school but thanks to facebook that we we reunited and forge good relations. and what really touched me was that she was willing to drive straight to see me even before going back home after work walhal we had earliuer agreed to meet on sunday. that was the sweet shd.

after that it was almsot 7.30pm when i finally checked in, got a shower and waited for yb and his friend L to take me out for dinner at top spot - the famous seafood joint in kuching. before that we went to pick up anither friend of yb named mj. of all the food we ordered the butter prawn and the black pepper crab was just excellent to say the least. never had such great food before phew. the black paper crab was spicy and i just loved it. but again top spot has always been the best place to have seafood.

butterflies in the stomach (pre reunion)

2009-11-04T10:12:00.000-08:00

i am feeling nervous. to be honest very very honest. i just had a long chat with princess and she said that i was being a drama. no i am not in fact among all of us in ratu associates, i strongly think that i am the least drama.

im sure by now you guys are aware of my reunion as i guess enuff has been said about it. now there is another issue. you see the last reunion we had was exactly 10 years ago. i was one of those strongly advocating the need for us to have another reunion to some friends (a big thanks to facebook for reuniting us. i mean seriously without the facebook, i doubt we would have been able to establish this contact and the reunion would not have taken place) who then gathered and thus work began for this reunion. i was appointed as one of the committee members although i did not attend any meeting as i was here in kl.

couple of weeks ago i was informed that the committee wanted me to be the emcee and they did not have any other names apart from me. i declined the job bcoz i have long left emcee-ing. during my school days i was very much into these all but again that is now history. i think that i do not have it in me anymore to be the emcee. back to my last reunion, i was also the emcee but then again i had a partner but now i had to do it all by myself. furthermore, i just wanted to go back and have fun not to be emcee but again due to old time sake and for my alma matter i accepted the job. and plus i was told by my best friend that the attendance might be limited to a small group so i thought oklah.

but all hells broke loose last night when my friend called and said that the committee just had their meeting and attendance was now at 110 pax including 14 teachers. that was when i freaked out. suddenly i seram sejuk. oh god how if i stumble. how if im too nervous. should i use english, bm or bahasa sarawak. we studied in bm but again mine was a catholic school so maybe i should use a mix of bm and english. should i adopt a serious approach or should i be serious and formal.

and next issue, what should i wear. i have been cracking my head thinking and couldnt find the answer. you see i have a feeling and im rather confident that most of my friends would under dress and i do not want to stick out like a sore thumb. but how if they do not underdress and instead i am the one who appaears like a plain jane. i am wearng jeans but what about the top. some of you guys including deputy suggested that i wear the glittering blue kurta which i wore for the company annual dinner last year. but i think salah concept because that would be too outstanding. nak pakai for party oklah but not for reunion. and in the end, i stand out as the clown providing the laughters.

what am i looking forward in this reunion? many i guess but again to be honest i am a bit afraid and nervous. ya can u imagine meeting people whom you last saw 10 years ago and some of them was more longer than that. so how do you interact. do i be the usual me or do i put up an act. abang n and princess told me to be more macho. but u see guys, back in kuching except for a good friend, the others do not know my real identity. they knew that i was a bit soft during school days but it stops there. they are under the opinion that i am as straight as one can be. so i guess that i just got to be myself and i know that i can carry this out extremely well i mean to act macho, in fact if i was a bit more tough i do not think many people can guess outright who i am. it is just that over these past few years, i have decided to be more flexible and open. so now in front of my old friends i just need to act a bit more tough. that is all. in fact there have been one or two asking me why im still single. recently a friend asked me why im still single walhal i was very popular among girls during schooldays and he said he would like to apologise to me cause he taught i was perhaps a gay. and some time back, another friend asked me why i have yet to settle down and whether im straight. and of course in both occasions, i staged a big drama and both of them then apologised.

back to my reunion, i am looking forward to seeing the teachers. during school days i was a very popular student, pendek kata mention my name everyone would know and i guess if only there was anugerah bintang popular berita harian, i would win hands down, i was also extremely popular among teachers. hello hello i was the assistant head prefect ok. among all the teachers im very excited about meeting puan norsiati, puan rosni, puan emily and me lee . puan norsiati then was one of the most feared teachers and infact she was better known among the malay students as cikgu bedah and she taught bm. she was not my teacher but i knew her and i was a bit sad then that she was not teaching me.

puan rosni was the bio tecaher and she too was not teaching me but i knew her. she was a picture of calmness. puan emily was the history teacher and her classes were really interesting. mr lee or sweet potato. i just have a lot to say about him. i was one of his "favourite". i remember him pleading with me not to take arts for spm. his reasoning being that throughout his long and illustrious career, none of his students had failed arts and he had a 100 per cent pass track record and he did not want that to be broken by me. he described my drawings as modern arts and i remember him telling me that he will quit teaching if i passed arts. and eventually when i got a credit, mr lee told me that the teacher marking my art paper was either blind or another modern art lover. he he he. i am looking forward to meeting them all...

kurnia

2009-10-31T08:57:00.000-07:00

Payung siti khadijah.

I must admit that this title created curiosity in me on what the drama was all about. And the synopsis was “kamal tersentak dengan cadangan isterinya siti fatimah yang mahu kamal mengahwini rahmah. Apakah yang terjadi selanjutnya? Lakonan bienda dan ako mustapha.”

I had anticipated it to be one of those tearjerker or the typical wanita muslimah tales (which I would end up feeling irritated). But again since I was doing nothing and there was not much good other efforts then why not kan.

The fact that it starred ako mustapha was enough to ensure that I was glued in front of the tv3 watching it.

About ten minutes into the drama, I was still trying to make out the synopsis as I realized the names kamal nor siti fatimah did not belong to any of the characters. Then only I realized it was one of those instances where the synopsis was wrong.

The drama is about ibu (norlia ramli) who is upset with her son rusdi ramli for marrying a girl against her wish. Thus she refuses to accept them as part of her family.

Then you have ako mustapha and zed zaidi, two steward, who rent a room in ibu’s house. Then you have farabie, an Indian youth who wants to leave his carefree life full of booze, parties and girls and shows interest in islam.

I liked watching payung siti khatijah (for all you know, even the title salah as I was not observing it when the drama started). It was such a sweet effort although they were many loopholes. I guess if these weaknesses were overcome, the drama would have been really brilliant and more polished. A most noticeable setback was the ending which appeared rather filmsy and as if the director was in a hurry, rushing and less creative in ending the drama.

As I said certain scenes were just unbelievable but there were also some good ones like ibu refusing to salam with farabie when they first meet giving the excuse that she had her wudhuk whereas the real reason was that she was unconmfortable that ben was not a muslim. And the scene where ibu gives a lecture to farabie on what he can do and what he cannot do.

Norlia ramli as ibu was simply great and truly lived the role. A surprise discovery was farabie whom I have never seen before. indeed a good performance by him and hope to see more of him. rusdi ramli and the actress who played his wife (sorry tak ingat nama) were good along with ako and zed zaidi who was just naughty and cute. ako and zed zaidi were at their element. simply love their performance.

Finally how I wish ibu lived in real life and that I had an opportunity to see her and get to know her better ...

note: i just found out that the title of the drama was actually KURNIA.

paku di dinding hati

2009-09-30T07:04:00.000-07:00

Paku di dinding hati. Somehow I just love this title which is derived from a malay drama shown over astro prima some time ago. The drama was not really outstanding but at the same time tak de lah setakat average. Perhaps it was above average. The story was slightly different and I guess the ending was totally unexpected and even questionable. But again maybe such an ending was needed so that it does not seem like a cliché of other dramas of the same type. But again as I said, after the drama had ended, one is left glued to the tv for a while analysing what had happened and how things would be for the lead character from then if it was in real life and not merely a drama… and of course the attraction here was the two lead roles played by hunky rashidi ishak and the manly ade putra. Need I say anything more ….

The main reason why I am writing this entry is because of what deputy wrote in his blog about hari raya and I must say it touched me deeply, very deep indeed. I have always acknowledged that deputy is a good writer especially when writing about feelings and emotions. And reading his entry, I was called to write what I felt and things which were deep down my heart.

The thing is that each one of us have our very own sad story and it differs from one person to another. The thing is we tend to think that only our life is like a roller coaster without realizing that there are many out there going through what we are facing, expect in different situations, levels and emotions.

And like what deputy said: “So what, if I have personal problems? I know my problems make it seem like the end of the world, but really, they are tiny when compared to the world's problems. My problems are tiny as compared to problems of others- my friends included.

“So you see, we should be thankful for whatever life we have, regardless of how imperfect we think it is.”

Yes darling, very much true indeed. We are happy for a while and then sadness comes in driving us to feel down, some time later we go back to being happy, that is what life is all about I guess.

i know i'll never love this way again

2009-07-20T09:28:00.000-07:00

have not been writing for some time, maybe about two weeks as first i had nothing to blog about and have not really seen any good malay dramas which i wanted to blog about. secondly, i was simply malas. entahlah beb ...

next month sunday august 9, i would be celebrating my birthday ... no big fuss, another year goes by. im not expecting anything... have passed that era. well if people remember my birthday than good thank you but if no then apa i nak buat... remind them? cry? i have passed the age where deep down my heart i wish miracles to happen on my birthday, that i would meet that ONE person just a few days before my birthday or that someone who have long dissappeared from my life would wish me happy birthday. the older i get, i realise such things do not happen to me. maybe dulu yes i was building dreams and fantasies but they have long ended. finished. habis. tamat. am i going through a mid life crisis? entah ... shouldnt mid life crisis happen when you are at 40 or 41. i have not reached that age yet. or maybe is it in modern times, mid llife crisis starts early even before you reach 40 or 41.

sorry beb if im boring you guys. im going through the PMS moment. the usual frustration feeling down, useless, unwanted, melancholic ... it happens to all of us at a time or another kan ...

mak pasrah dek non oii

You looked inside my fantasies

And made each one come true

Something no one else

Had ever found a way to do

I've kept the memories one by one

Since you took me in

And I know I'll never love this way again

I know I'll never love this way again

So I keep holdin' on before the good is gone

I know I'll never love this way again

Hold on, hold on, hold on

A fool will lose tomorrow

Reaching back for yesterday

I won't turn my head in sorrow

If you should go away

I'll stand here and remember

Just how good it's been

And I know I'll never love this way again

I know I'll never love this way again

so I keep holdin' on before the good is gone

I know I'll never love this way again

hold on, hold on, hold on

I know I'll never love this way again

so I keep holdin' on before the good is gone

I know I'll never love this way again

hold on, hold on, hold on...

sayonara paris

2009-07-04T16:57:00.000-07:00

thursday july 2
Actually, I was supposed to depart from paris at noon on Thursday. But while in kl and after talking to jati, I had this idea about extending my stay for a day but then I was just not too sure, friends advised me to stay for another day but I was confused, what to do, where to go and where to stay. I checked with mas and they said that I can do the changes even from paris. What if J does not keep to his promise and I would be all by myself lost and alone in paris?

After meeting J, then I decided to stay for another day in paris. I knew that he would keep to his words. So on Thursday my day started early at about 9am, I checked out of the hotel with the others who left for the airport. I then just jalan jalan near the hotel while waiting for J to arrive at 9.30am. J arrived as scheduled and suggested that we take a train. They have this system where you pay 5.80 per day and u can travel the whole day.

Our first destination was a place where I cant remember the name, it was at the outskirts of paris but wow it was so spectacular, chantek, it was the modern paris, architecture building was just amazing and ada a few shopping complexes.

From there we went to another shopping avenue. And again I cant remember the name. this was really heaven, I just love the shopping venue best gile siot nak shopping

We then went to a third spot ala alah masjid India. I was shocked with the number of Indian shops there oh god rasa macam mini Chennai. J said this place is very popular among aseans especially those looking for spieces, ayam halal and etc. even rempah baba and alagappa from Malaysia also can get. Kedai jual saree and kurta pun banyak that for a moment I forgot that I was in India. Tak sangka so many Indians here, And kedai makan roti canai, roti telur, thosai semua ada except nasi lemak and mee goring mamak. We lepak at one place and had roti canai, teh tarik plus sambal sotong and udang. Very delicious.

J then suggested we visit a specific museum and the oldest church to which I first agreed but then I was just too exhausted. So I told him, we change the plan and let us do more shopping. We then went to this shop called Disneyland, oh wow kabur mata ratu. If only kids yang masuk sure tak keluar. I just did not know what to buy banyak sangat choices. I bought hanna montana and transformers towel of coz lah not for me. I also bought bags and other stuff for the children.

We then went to this shop sephora, mak oii gudang perfume, make up kit and toiletries that u just pening tak tahu what to buy as you would be spoilt fir choices. We planned to watch a movie starring Matthew McConaughey tapi than time pula tak sesuai.

So we decided to go back to the hotel, collect the luggage and move to a different hotel. I decided to check in into Sheraton which was situated inside the airport itself ala ala pan pac klia. The hotel room was so so chantek and besar. I like I like, so we lepak lepak and then decided to take a walk at the airport but there was nothing much at terminal two and three.

friday july 3

Arrived at the airport at about 830am and checked in, thank god the crowd was not heavy then. Went inside the departure hall and did some more shopping, got perfumes and chocolates and there I was ready to board the plane back home, only to arrive 12 hours later...

sayonara paris and insyaallah one day i hope to return here...

paris ... kota cinta

2009-07-01T23:16:00.000-07:00

monday june 29
i was looking forward to monday as was suppossed to meet an old friend who is also a former schoolmate. lets call him J who is in paris studying. so a week before i left for paris, i smsd him saying that i am coming around and if he would be in town. he replied yes and asked for my programme and said that he would like to take me out. the fact is that i was not putting too much of hopes as somehow deep down my heart, i felt that when the time comes this friend of mine would suddenly be busy.

On Monday night, I attended a dinner hosted by MR B with the Malaysian community. J did mention to me that he would be there. I was late for the function and J smsd me asking where I was. We finally met up and had a short chat, he was still his usual old self. We decided to meet up on Thursday. After meeting him, I got the confidence that he was for real and we would meet up as planned on Thursday.

Oh talking about the dinner, I have to mention this, there was a dialogue session. Adalah satu student ni, Tanya soalan memang dasar dah dipengaruhi opposition and jenis yang tak berpijak di bumi nyata. Tanya soalan merapu but well gitulah relaiti kehidupan dik non, ada yang tak sedar diri.

And one more thing, after two days in paris, lidah dah rindu maskan melayu so I went for the dinner hoping for local food and like a friend was hoping for sate or nasi goring but we were served salmon and baked fish aiyooo. Nasib baik ada satu north Indian restaurant in paris where we had nasi briyani for two days.

tuesday june 30 There was nothing much today except dinner kat rumah ambassador which I was very much looking forward to. Bukan apa have been missing all the makanan melayu. And we were not dissappointed as memang makanan melayu. We had nasi putih, sayur campur, ayam masak merah, dagimg masak kicap and sambal udang. The sambal udang and daging masak kicap was so sedap but the ayam entah kureng sikit tapi dia punya spicy boleh tahan lah juga.

wednesday july 1 Today was the last day of my work and we finished early. In the evening, we went to crazy horse, tempat ni ada semi nude performances by cik ki lah who else. Kat paris banyak juga tempat cik tan perform but howlah tak kan nak ajak depa gi tengok cik tan perform. Cover line beb.

So crazy horse, mahal gak entrance fee for 90 minutes performance costed almost rm450 inclusive of two drinks. The others all had champagne but we settled for orange juice

This place is known for for its stage shows performed by nude female dancers. My review was ok je lah nothing extra great and after some time, it became a routine affair. Boring gak. What made it worse is that all the dancers about 10 of them had the exact body figure, saiz titek sama, cik tot sama and semua sama, that is what made it boring pasal tak ada variety. There was agap between performances as maybe tak nak bagi ornga stium. Tapi yang spoil, in between was a clown act by two pondan adik adik tua yang sungguh tak perlu.

paris welcomes the ratu

2009-06-28T15:16:00.000-07:00

SATURDAY JUNe 27 and SUNDAY JUNE 28

I just don’t care if there is anyone reading this entry who conclude that this is a syok sendiri piece. Lantaklah as once in a while you have to make yourself feel good, am I right guys. It all started about a fortnight ago when I was working on the computer and my boss came to ask me if I have got the letter. I was puzzled so I asked him what letter. He then asked me if I wanted to go to paris. I was stunned for a minute and I asked him whether it was a junket or an assignment. He then replied that I was supposed to cover MR B on an assignment. I then dengan merendah diri asked him if he thinks that I am qualified to cover the assignment and to which he replied that certainly I was qualified.

(To those of you who are not aware of the term, in my profession, junket refers to a trip where you do not really have to work and it is more like a semi holiday which is sponsored by a company where they take care of all expenses and you do not have to spend a single cent. But when you come back, out of courtesy you still have to write a piece or two as a sign of gratitude although I know of many friends take it for granted and have no problems about not writing anything.

Assignment on the other hand, is where you have to write on a daily basis, practically you are working and it is just that you are working outside kuala lumpur. In some cases, the accommodation and flight is paid for but in some cases, your company has to pay for it.

Again you see, in my profession, if you go on an overseas assignment covering MR A or MR B, it is like a form of acknowledgment of your seniority. Well that was what I was told when I was a junior more than a decade ago so I am sorry if any of you guys do not agree with me. So kirenya macam kalau you sebut that you are following MR A or MR B on an overseas assignment, kire hebat lah juga.

Moving on, I have always wanted to go to paris. There are a few other places which were also in my list but I have been since then – new york, london, australia and argentina. With paris covered now, the other and only country still in my list is Italy … wonder when I would reach there. So why have I been always fascinated about paris … nyah paris kan the city of love and furthermore akak, cayalah cakap mak, there is nothing much fascinating looking at mat salleh in Malaysia. If you really wanna see them you have to visit their country. And tau tau je lah, paris kan has the reputation for having sexy solid jantan like also Italy,,, basah mak

So, I left kl on Saturday night and flight mak penuh siot nyah. Dalam waiting lounge mak pun perati juga keliling kanan kot kot ada mamat cun tapi hampa belaka as ada pun sorang dua yang ok je lah nothing much. Ni mak nak cakap sikit mas was delayed for an hour and we were seated inside aiyoo why lah. And pasal the food … in one word sucks teruk sungguh dahlah daging tak masak betul betul and sambal tumis udang for nasi lemak was semacam je. Nampak sangat udang tak fresh.

Upon arriving at the Paris Charles De Gaulle International Airport, I just could not help but feel that we Malaysians are a lucky lot as we have the best airport in the world. Nothing beats to klia lah. The first parisian I met was the immigration officer hmmm not bad (choi choi). But I was in for a shock when I saw our drivers. Of the three, two were really … basah mak noks, they just did not look like drivers maybe because they were wearing suits. One had that long hair yang macam slick comb backwards ala ala macam antonio banderas and a body yang wowie while the younger one was kurus but membuatkan mak cair dengan muka stim.

From there it took about 45 minutes to reach the Prince De Galles Hotel. Tak adalah mewah Malaysia but quite alrite tapi noks the bilek was so kecil standardlah bilek depa ni walhal ni deluxe roon bukan standard and per night it was rm2185 (mak oiii) tapi what the heck company mak yang bayar.
Later in the day, we all pun berjalan jalan ke satu tempat yang jauh sikit about 45 minutes drive namanya la vallee village tapi nyah dont get fooled this is not a viilage or kampung- ni adalah satu factory outlet. nyah satu hari jalan jalan kat sini tak cukup akak. ko nak apa guess, Salvator feragamo, tommy hillfigher dan sebut je. Katanya factory outlet tapi harga tak macam factory outlet pun. Tapi nyah punyalah ramai makhluk kat situ and again semua merembes mak aiyoo rasa nak buka baju dia orang and main kat situ juga … betul nyah hard to control tempatation.

Petang tu, mak pun gi lah jalan jalan sorang diri not too far from our hotel, satu jalan lurus ni yang memang banyak kedai nak beli barang. Berani sungguh akak kan, while I was walking mak jumpa satu couple tengah cycling tunggu lampu hijau. sempat lagi nyah nak kissing mula mula tu cium biasa je noks lepas tu French kiss, aiyoo ikut hati nak je mak tolak puki tu and mak lak cium cik tan tu … aiyoo how lah

While I was walking, I bumped into this group of adik adik baru nak menjadi yang alah alah muka peach rumah. to my surprise one of them said “gitu lah mu jie, mulut tak ada insurans.” … wah adik adik Malaysia rupanya, tapi mak tak delah tegur ke apa pasal rupa dia orang sungguh de hanch nyah very the kampong tapi kekwat pelbagai.

malamnya, mak went on a river seine cruise. It was an hour ride nyah tapi was so much fun waktu malam ala alah romantik gitu and you can see the great magnificient eiffel tower yang glittering terang benderang bermandikan lampu and waktu tu pula angin meniup sepoi sepoi bahasa. mak pun melayang noks. along both sides of the river people were lepakking bestnya lepak tepi sungai and some had beer bottles in their hand. there was also a dance party going on. and people were dating biaslaah adengan peluk memeluk cium mencium raba meraba...

Itulah je lah nyah catatan mak for my first day in paris, so we sambung tomorrow lah ye.

tribute to michael jackson and farrah fawcett

2009-06-26T07:22:00.000-07:00

I am not in the best of position to talk about Michael Jackson or Farrah Fawcett. I believe that by now, many have wrote their tributes to these two especially MJ.

I have to admit that I am not one of those greatest or loyal fans of MJ. I enjoyed his songs and I liked him as an entertainer, but again who would not right.

Hearing the news about his death came as a shock. As I told a friend, this was what I felt when Benazir Bhutto, Mother Teresa and Lady Diana left us. I have never seen any one of them and I do not know them in person. And yet their death left sadness in me as if part of my life was gone.

When I first heard the news, I though it was just a prank and only after reading it on the internet I knew that it was for real. MJ was just so real, he reminded me of my growing up years and all those memories.

Billie Jeans, Beat It and You Are Not Alone and We Are Not Alone – will stand testimony of the great MJ.

What makes the sadness more felt is watching the tv stations paying tribute to MJ by airing video clips of his songs especially Thriller. How time has passed us. Watching the videos bring me back on a trip down memoryland.

MJ is the definition of SUCCESS on how success can make a person move up and how success can also kill a person. I do not wish to go on controversies surrounding MJ as after all he is gone and there is no point in talking about them now. Whatever it is, may he rest in peace al fatihah…

AND Farrah Fawcett, another name that takes me back to my earlier years. Who would not remember this sexy siren of the Charlies Angels. Even though she did not last throughout the show, she had made an impact, partly due to her physical appearance. She was sexy, she was stunning, she was beautiful but now she is gone leaving behind the memories

we are the world/you are not alone

2009-06-26T06:55:00.000-07:00

There comes a time

When we heed a certain call

When the world must come together as one.

There are people dying

And it's time to lend a hand to life

The greatest giff of all

We can't go on

Pretending day by day

That someone somewhere will soon make a change

We are all a part of God's great big family

And the truth you know

Love is all we need

We are the world

We are the children

We are the ones who make a brighter day

So let's start giving

There's a choice we're making

We're saving our own lives

It's true we'll make a better day

Just you and me

Send them your heart

So they'll know that someone cares

And their lives will be stronger and free

As God has shown us by turning stones to bread

And so we all must lend a helping hand

We are the world

We are the children

We are the ones who make a brighter day

So let's start giving

There's a choice we're making

We're saving our own lives

It's true we'll make a better day

Just you and me

When you're down and out

There seems no hope at all

But if you just believe

There's no way we can fall

Well, well, well, well, let us realize

That a change will only come

When we stand together as one

We are the world

We are the children

We are the ones who make a brighter day

So let's start giving

There's a choice we're making

We're saving our own lives

It's true we'll make a better day

Just you and me are the world

We are the children

Another day has gone

I'm still all aloneHow could this be

You're not here with me

You never said goodbye

Someone tell me why

Did you have to go

And leave my world so cold

Everyday I sit and ask myself

How did love slip away

Something whispers in my ear and says

That you are not alone

For I am here with you

Though you're far away

I am here to stay

But you are not alone

For I am here with you

Though we're far apart

You're always in my heart

But you are not alone'

Lone, 'lone

Why, 'lone

Just the other night

I thought I heard you cry

Asking me to come

And hold you in my arms

I can hear your prayers

Your burdens I will bear

But first I need your hand

Then forever can begin

Everyday I sit and ask myself

How did love slip away

Something whispers in my ear and says

That you are not alone

For I am here with you

Though you're far away

I am here to stay

For you are not alone

For I am here with you

Though we're far apart

You're always in my heart

For you are not alone

Whisper three words and I'll come runnin'

And girl you know that I'll be there

I'll be there

You are not alone

For I am here with you

Though you're far awayI am here to stay

For you are not alone

For I am here with you

Though we're far apart

You're always in my heart

For you are not alone

For I am here with you

Though you're far awayI am here to stay

For you are not alone

For I am here with you

Though we're far apart

You're always in my heart

For you are not alone...

kepompong ... dunia kite berbeza

2009-06-25T08:57:00.000-07:00

Where do I start? Just where do I start …

Life is not meant to be the way we want it exactly. And life does not treat everyone the same. There are some who are unfortunate that things does not work their way.

I believe that those involved in the so called vice-activities are not doing it on their own accord. It is not that they want to be doing such things but again at times it is the circumstances and the surroundings. There is no just no point of return once you have stepped inside that world.

That is what kepompong is all about. A brilliant effort which was ably directed and with screenplay by the acclaimed Rashid Sibir. And the cast was real especially the two leads seniwati mariani and nor khiriah

I apologise if I am wrong but I have not heard much of mariani during her younger days. Back then she was just seen as the sister of the legendary celebrity saloma. But in recent times, I have been watching mariani and she is indeed someone to acknowledge. Maybe it was not getting the proper script and roles that demanded powerful acting from her or maybe it was not her time yet. There were some recent efforts which I cant remember but where mariani left an impression, among them in one drama where she played a mak bidan. And in kepompong, mariani as mami nora was just in her full self. A polished performance especially the facial expression and her body language plus the dialogue deliver. she just left an everlasting impression with her performance in this drama

Norkhiriah as nora, was impressive, in the scenes where she had to play that naïve and takut takut, she was so real. The character needed her to underplay the role and that was what she did. No overacting and she gave just what was needed by the script.

A word has to be mentioned of the three supporting cast - Norlia Ramli, Ku Farida and Sofea Ibrahim. In the first place, I praise them for accepting the role. It was surely not easy playing such characters given their age and what the media perception would be. I mean to play the role of veteran sex workers, they just had to be something which they were not and this is not an easy task. It was their courage to accept the roles and they did well, Sofea as maisara was good in the early scene where she makes a comeback to the center, Norlia as Munah has always been my favorrite and as for ku farida as som, I hope to see more of her especially playing the role of a wanita kecoh or evil roles

Khir rahman as taib has never been my favourite but in this drama for once I forgot that he was merely acting as he just lived the role of drug addict, simply real, brutal.

Zarina af as the younger version of mariani did what was required of her, enuff said. On that note, somehow I felt aida rahim and rahim jailani were just not giving their best. Maybe the script did not require much from them or maybe their character was not well developed. But must say that aida was good in the confrontation scene with mariani ... polished expressions and fine delivery of dialoguesThe story revolves around mariani who is forced into prostitution by her husband. She grows old in the profession and ends up becoming a mamasan. Among her anak ayam include norlia, ku faridah and sofea.

Then you have nor khairiah who runs away from her drug addict lover khir rahman. As circumstances has it she gets involved in the profession.

Next comes rahim jailani who one day comes to see mariani and claims that he is her son. Although mariani knows that is the truth but she denies it and chases him away. However, due to persuasion, she has a change of heart and decides to follow her son home one day. There the expected happens where she is humiliated by her daughter-in-law and decides to go back to her usual life …

I do not wish to go into the ending of the drama as it is best watched than said. A good choice to end the drama in such a way to evoke sympathy as to me sad endings have always worked out well…

What I was slightly disappointed was that the director did not explain who was aida in her past and why did she turn out to be such an evil. The only clue that we have is what mariani says to aida rahim “ida, aku tak sangka kau lupa daratan, kau dah senang je sikit, kau lupa semuanya, kau ingat aku tak tahu kau siapa … kite ni sama je lah”

and why does after that rahim just allows mariani to go off? this was not explored leaving the viewers clueless...

Rahim then tells his wife “I terkilan dengan you aida, I bawa emak I jumpa dengan you… I ingatkan you boleh terima … kalau I boleh bagi peluang pada you kenapa you tak boleh bagi peluang pada emak i.”Aida then starts crying but we just have to wonder on what exactly happened … but again it could be a way to reduce the melodrama …

The last few scenes are really touching and can surely melt your heart and bring tears…

"dunia kite berbeza"

terima kasih divaku...

2009-06-22T14:27:00.000-07:00

Nyah, mak so the bangga one. Adalah satu hati tu mak came across a blog by my diva, the one and only fauziah ahmad daud or ogy. So, mak pun post komen kat blog dia kata:

Kak ogy, i just so love your blog. ni pun i jumpa blog ni secara kebetulan, i have always admired you wahai diva ku, dari zaman ali setan but i just loved u in suara kekasih. i sedih tau tengok u dalam cerita tu especially the scene u kena maki dengan emak aznil, waktu u nyanyi lagu and the scene u and aznil spend time together for the last time, and i love the song bile bunga berguguran. wahai diva ku, sila baca www. primadonnaz.blogspot.com tajuk artikel murabbi friday may 22. i wrote my views and i hope u ok dgn my comment. cuma diva ku jangan marah pasal the pic ok take care divaku

And guess, what today, mak buka blog dia and I read this:
ogy ahmad daud said...Salam Ratuku, k.ogy da bca ur comments for Murabbi... I LIKE!!! Tq so3x much for watching my movies n listening to my songs especially Bila Bunga2 Berguguran it happens to be my personal favourite as well, i enjoyed reading ur blog juz luv ur views very HONEST!!! Ratu slalu la jenguk2 blog kakak yer n tqvm for visiting my blog, take care Ratuku. June 2, 2009 10:50 PM

and for those of you yang tak sempat baca my review on murabbi, here I re-publish:
“Seorang guru adalah juga seorang pendidik (murabbi) sehingga akhir hayatnya. Tak salah jadi seorang guru hanya untuk makan gaji tapi tak dapatlah pahala jihadnya. Seorang guru adalah seorang murrabi tapi tak semua murabbi ada pada setiap guru…”I loved this effort for two main reasons – not being too preachy or melodrama AND the superb acting.The problem with most of our dramas is that the director gets carried away and tend to serve us with a pool of emotions, to the extend that you just cannot digest it. And at times, the director in his eagerness to convey good messages, ends up giving us a lengthy lecture on the good and bad.But clearly this was not the case with murabbi, directed by the ever great fauziah ahmad daud. There was just something special about this effort. And the director’s treatment was good and creative, when you expect the next scene to progress in such a way, you end up proven wrong.The drama is about a teacher nor suhaiba who comes across rusminah tahir, a former teacher, who runs a shelter home for under age girls who are pregnant. Following rusminah’s detah, nor suhaiba takes it upon herself to rub the house. The drama goes on with the problems she faces in achieving the task.And acting, I was simply amazed watching the performances of nor shuhaiba, sharifah aleysha and rosminah tahir.Nor shuhaiba is indeed a new name as far as I am concerned as I have never seen her before. The same goes with sharifah aleysha (the daughter of fatimah abu bakar and sister of sharifah amani). But these two delivered brilliant performance. Simply awesome. Nor shuhaiba came as a breeze while aleysha was totally convincing.Rosminah tahir. I know she is a theatre director and scriptwriter. That is all I know about her. But in murabbi, she simply lived the role. Long after watching the movie and days after, her role kept playing in my mind. What a natural award winning portrayal.However, the same cannot be said of the other three - Lah Ahmad, Zulkifli Ismail and Siti Fairuz – maybe there was just not enuff scope for them or their character was not properly shaped. Lan appeared too stiff while zulkifli at times seemed trying too hard. As for siti fairuz, in her maiden acting effort, the popular 80’s singer was not too bad but could be well shaped if she wants to take up acting seriously.The message in this drama was plenty. There were many touching moments and those that one could relate to. It was indeed a good effort in conjunction with teachers day instead of the usual effort where a teacher helps a poor student.What I would like to mention too is that it was perhaps good having a new team playing the lead roles. At least by doing so, we have a bigger pool of talented cast who can develop to really good talents.Finally, I believe that Astro Prima would repeat the drama on a later day. So if you guys have not had the chance to watch this effort, then I suggest do not miss out this one.

sampai syurga

2009-05-23T06:16:00.000-07:00

If you guys remember, couple of weeks ago, I had praised singer-actress elly mazlein for a fine performance in the drama restu mertua.

And now sampai syurga, shown over tv3, further goes on to prove that elly indeed is a talented actress and someone to watch out for. Given time and good roles, elly can do wonders like how once a upon a time wannabees Jasmin Hamid, Safura and even Vanida Imran after some time went on to prove their worth, although at the start of their career, they did not hold much promise.

Sampai syurga is about a poor girl elly mazlein who becomes a singer. And in the process, she forgets her father, her lover and goes on to become big headed.

What I liked about smapai syurga was it was realistic and less of the typical melodrama. Agreed that the first 30 minutes was a bit draggy but the momentum then picked up. There were many incidents which related to what is happening in our entertainment industry. The dialogues were good.

But having said that, there were weaknesses in the script and the screenplay could have been far better. There were scenes which needed explanation and lacked logics. Like what happened in the three years period that elly was in kl struggling to be a singer. Also, like how did she got the opportunity to become a singer as it was general knowledge that her vocals was nothing to shout about.

In terms of acting, as said above, elly was simply in a league of her own. She transformed well from a naïve village girl to the much popular singer. Her facial expression was good.

Harun hisham as the father was good being an experienced actor he is especially in the last scene. Normah damanhuri, unfortunately, was wasted as she did not have any acting scope at all, except for the last scene as well.

Ameer of the group sofaz was not bad but could do better in future efforts that is if he decides to take up acting seriously. Aqasha delivered what was required by him – a rather polished performance and he was in his best towards the end,

What I did not understand is why elly refuses to goback and visit her father despite knowing that he is not well. Is it purely ego? what doesn’t make sense is that she feels sorry that he is not well and cries but finds all excuses to go back to visit her father until it is rather too late.

As for the director, along kamaruddin, sorry guys as I cant say much of him, he is good,. Enuff said, full stop. But I have never seen any drama directed by him which was really polished, on that, I just cant help but think how different the treatment would have been if this drama was handled by others like jingo or Rashid sibir or someone else (sorry but yes I am biased).

murabbi

2009-05-22T02:13:00.000-07:00

“Seorang guru adalah juga seorang pendidik (murabbi) sehingga akhir hayatnya. Tak salah jadi seorang guru hanya untuk makan gaji tapi tak dapatlah pahala jihadnya. Seorang guru adalah seorang murrabi tapi tak semua murabbi ada pada setiap guru…”

I loved this effort for two main reasons – not being too preachy or melodrama AND the superb acting.

The problem with most of our dramas is that the director gets carried away and tend to serve us with a pool of emotions, to the extend that you just cannot digest it. And at times, the director in his eagerness to convey good messages, ends up giving us a lengthy lecture on the good and bad.

But clearly this was not the case with murabbi, directed by the ever great fauziah ahmad daud. There was just something special about this effort. And the director’s treatment was good and creative, when you expect the next scene to progress in such a way, you end up proven wrong.

The drama is about a teacher nor suhaiba who comes across rusminah tahir, a former teacher, who runs a shelter home for under age girls who are pregnant. Following rusminah’s detah, nor suhaiba takes it upon herself to rub the house. The drama goes on with the problems she faces in achieving the task.

And acting, I was simply amazed watching the performances of nor shuhaiba, sharifah aleysha and rosminah tahir.

Nor shuhaiba is indeed a new name as far as I am concerned as I have never seen her before. The same goes with sharifah aleysha (the daughter of fatimah abu bakar and sister of sharifah amani). But these two delivered brilliant performance. Simply awesome. Nor shuhaiba came as a breeze while aleysha was totally convincing.

Rosminah tahir. I know she is a theatre director and scriptwriter. That is all I know about her. But in murabbi, she simply lived the role. Long after watching the movie and days after, her role kept playing in my mind. What a natural award winning portrayal.

However, the same cannot be said of the other three - Lah Ahmad, Zulkifli Ismail and Siti Fairuz – maybe there was just not enuff scope for them or their character was not properly shaped. Lan appeared too stiff while zulkifli at times seemed trying too hard. As for siti fairuz, in her maiden acting effort, the popular 80’s singer was not too bad but could be well shaped if she wants to take up acting seriously.

The message in this drama was plenty. There were many touching moments and those that one could relate to. It was indeed a good effort in conjunction with teachers day instead of the usual effort where a teacher helps a poor student.

What I would like to mention too is that it was perhaps good having a new team playing the lead roles. At least by doing so, we have a bigger pool of talented cast who can develop to really good talents.

Finally, I believe that Astro Prima would repeat the drama on a later day. So if you guys have not had the chance to watch this effort, then I suggest do not miss out this one.

mereka yang rebah

2009-05-21T09:48:00.000-07:00

Lihatlah sekeliling kita,
Harapan serta bunga bangsa yang rebah,
Tak memadai sekadar keluahan,
Apatah lagi jelingan serta cemuhan,
Yang jatuh dan rebah itu
Adalah anak watanmu

Untukkan sedikit masa emasmu,
Kerana mereka memerlukan,
Tersesat mereka dihujung jalan,
Marilah bersama memberi bimbingan.

Tak daya mengawal diri,
Lantaran terlalu menurut kata hati,
Mereka bagai kehilangan,
Pedoman di masa hadapan.

hitam putih kehidupan

2009-05-20T07:54:00.000-07:00

Lihatlah sekitar alam

Dunia luas terbentang

Langit tinggi kebiruan

Pohon-pohon kehijauan

Hembusan bayu yang menyegarkan

Dengarkan di sana-sini

Beburung riang menyanyi

Berbunga aneka warna

Sumber kedamaian jiwa

Mensyukuri nikmat Maha Esa

Begitu berharga kehidupan ini

Bagi mereka yang tahu menghargai

Mengapa terdorong oleh perasaan

Kalau turutkan hati diri menjadi korban

Tiada yang dapat lari dari masalah diri

Hadapi lah dengan tenang

Tiap cabaran yang datang

Atasinya dengan keimanan

Sekadar buat renungan

Untukmu teman tersayang

Hitam putih masa depan

Sendirian menentukan

Hidup ini usah persiakan...hidup ini usah persiakan

akademi fantasia 7

2009-05-17T04:55:00.001-07:00

i do not wish to go into length on akademi fantasia 7. first, i was watching it from the office so i did not really feel the mood. secondly, i guess much has already been said on this programme.

i remember years ago watching this show on tv. back then it was a saturday night and i happened to be switching tv and i saw a guy being criticised for not dressing well. i remember he was toid that he dressed up as if he was going to work. i cant remember who the critic was. perhaps its kudsia kahar but the guy i remember was shari. i then was slightly interested to see the show especially when came the melodrama part of siapa akan tersingkir.

this continued a few years. back then, something was not complete if you had missed the concert or even the daily diari series. i witnessed vince, zahid followed by mawi, faizal and mila. in fact i was at the stadium watching faizal and mila, but then last year i gave the while show a miss.

after sometime you begin to get bored, u just feel that the show was not real partly thanks to former host aznil after five years became very predictable, plastic and aloof. somehow it was good perhaps bringing in ac mizal but last year ac mizal who made his debut failed a bit, the show just lost its glitter.

but this year, the excitement seemed to be back, due to the influence of my sarawakian friends who went all the way rooting for hafiz.

moving on to saturday's finals. the stage was simply great. beautiful. but having said it, the same was not in the case of the songs, performance and attire. the students are given two numbers - one a new composition made for them and second a popular song. i felt the second song was rather disappointing. maybe for finals, really popular and hit numbers should have been chosen as it gives better impact. but this time around, the songs are those easily forgotten, that being the case, the impact was much less. the performances by all five did not fit the bill of a final event. maybe they were stressed but again more was expected. i dare say none of the five students really shone that night. and the attire, aiyoo what happened lah, cant we get something better especially isma looked awful - just whose idea was it for her to be dressed in such a outfit.

even the performances of former students were only passable. i remember two years ago, dekna a former student impressed in her delivery of salam terakhir. but this time around nah no zero

as in past cases. it is hard for winners of af to remain in the industry over the years. one can hardly remember what happened to some former students and winners like ebi, riz, dekna, idayu and others. hope that this year's top five would go on to achieve something. but somehow i feel sorry for isma and yazid as i do not think that there would go really far, thanks to the prejudice system where only those who are single and good looking go far in the entertainment industry. anyway, i would be glad to be proven wrong

restu mertua

2009-05-14T13:10:00.000-07:00

Restu mertua. From the start, I have to admit that I might be a bit bias as this drama is directed by jingo and produced by his actress wife Sheila rusly. Somehow, I have always been impressed with these two and that is why I was looking forward towards this effort.

and how do i start. this was not one of those greatest efforts, there were weak links here and there. but having said that, it was not bad or mediocre either. i would say that it was passable. surely above average, had its moments. but nevertheless the script and screenplay could have been better. what i enjoyed was the less melodrama but there were also certain scenes which you just did not understand.

the story was rather simple. elly mazlein and fiz fairuz are in love but objected by their respective mothers. despite this, the duo get married and as fate has it, fiz dies in an accident. prior to that, he keeps on telling his wife elly that should anything happen to him, she should take care of his mother sheila. this si something that she just cant do given of the bad relations between the duo, the story then goes on to what happens after fiz dies.

character wise, i just did not understand liza abdullah as elly mazlein's mum. why was she made to look so aloof and plastic. liza's acting seemed funny at moments because i felt that she was just not comfortable playing such villy mother character. you just cannot feel her and she appeared artifical. either blame it on the script or bad casting. liza is surely far better. of course you can imagine hamidah wahab doing justice to the role.

elly mazlein and fizz fairuz were refreshing choices. i praise the drama producers and director for choosing this pair. its time to have more choices rather than the usual same cast again and again in every other drama. elly was superb especially in the scenes where she makes irritated facing expressions when her husband, son and mother in law are eating durian. that is a fine performance. another great scene is her expression when her husband dies - truly award winning i had never seen much of elly and never knew how is she as an actress. as for fiz fairuz, have seen him in some efforts but he had never made an impact. but this time around, i was proven wrong and hopefully would get to see more of him.

as for sheila rusly, well what can i say about her. as i said earlier, i have always been a great fan of hers especialy i love her acting in menantu mak dara alongside normah damanhuri. sheila was just superb in restu mertua. this was the first time i saw her playing the role of an elderly woman and she passed with flying colours

the confrontation scene between elly and sheila plus the ending was superb. it showcased great acting talents as the role required matured performance, a weak actress would have spoiled the whole thing. also watch out for the part on ikan iar tawar and ulam ulam, this is where director jinggo stands out, it shows his creativity and what makes him different from the others

conclusion, this is one effort which would leave you with memories.

he's just not that into you

2009-05-09T06:50:00.000-07:00

I am just not used to movies where there are just simply too many plots, sub-plots and characters. The reason being that it could be rather convoluted.

As much as I had enjoyed “he’s just not that into you” but have to admit that I had problems in adjusting to the movie and had to constantly remind myself on each character.

There were parts which I could relate to easily in this 129 minutes effort by the award-winning TV/film director Ken Kwapis whose previous efforts include The Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants and He Said, She Said fame.

I could easily relate to gigi (ginnifer goodwin) who gets excited every time she goes dating and just cant wait for the guy to call her. But she ends up frustrated as this never happens. Watching the movie, I could feel gigi in me, perhaps a couple of years ago. I went through what gigi felt.

Back then, every time I met a guy and felt that I like him, I would get excited and wait endlessly for him to call me. But that does not happen and in the end, it is tears which accompany me.

I also liked alex (justin long), who finds it hard to express his love for gigi and makes all kind of excuses to make sure that she does not go gaga over the guys whom she dates.

Then there is ben (bradley cooper) who has an affair with anna (scarlett johnson) without the knowledge of his wife janine (jeniffer connelly).

And not to forget neil (ben affleck) who finds it hard to agree with his girlfriend beth (jennifer aniston) who wants them to get married.

the movie had its moments i must say. like gigi you can feel for her as much as you can feel for alex. at the same time, you understand how the world comes to an end for janine when she finds out that ben is cheating on her. also anna who is willing to do anything to pursue her dreams to become a popular singer. we also feel sad for beth who badly wants to marry but at the same time, i can understand what neil is going through as well.

having said that, do not miss out the scene in the office room between ben and anna as it is simply simply delicious, to say the least. i do not want to spoil the suspense but that is a must see scene. how i wished that i was anna and ben was next to me.

another thing is that the movie is slightly draggy at 129 minutes. but that aside, it is a good effort.

aku dan kenangan

2009-05-08T06:49:00.000-07:00

Before I start, just a note to anonymous for his comments in my last entry titled patung kertas. Thank you dear for reading my blog. I have not seen much of nuratiqah previously but I must say that she is really a good actress based on her performance in penghujung rindu and hope that she would go far in our local movies industry. I have not watched dua kali aku mencintaimu and sad that I perhaps had missed a good effort. As for tony eusoff, liked him very much in sepi but cant remember some of the other drams in which he had acted. And yes kartina aziz is another actress who I really really love apart from wan maimunah, fauziah nawi and of course fauziah ahmad daud. Finally, thanks for informing your friends about my blog, I appreciate it. I believe that there would be repeats of the penghujung rindu over astro. As for me, thank god I had recorded it over my astro max and now I can watch it at anytime I want he he. Just loved mak nani’s performance. Brilliant. Last but not least, please keep in touch, continue reading and commenting… take care

and now moving on, MAK arrived in kota cosmopolitan kuala Lumpur pada tahun 1992. wah dah hamper dua abad yang lalu mak dah mengharungi kehidupan sebagai seorang warga kota. It was then my first visit to kuala Lumpur. Mak sepanjang zaman has never been to kl for reasons not known, in fact I was more familiar with Singapore and other parts of the world as compared to kuala Lumpur. Lantas when I arrived in kuala Lumpur then mak ibarat rusa masuk kampung.

Kehadiran mak di sini adalah untuk menimba ilmu. Waktu tu mak memula menetap di damansara utama. Terlalu banyak kenangan indah mak waktu di situ dan memikirkannya sahaja bise menyebabkan mak menitiskan air mata kesedihan.

Pada waktu berkenaan, mak ibarat anak dara sunti yang belum tercemar. Mak tidak kenal apa dia dunia adik adik malah mak tak pernah memikirkan akan transformasi (meminjam perkataan dari akademi fantasia) yang akan mak lalui dalam kehidupan ini di hari muka yakni kini.

Mak waktu tu dok kat student house. Di situlah mak mule kenal apa dia “mapillai” (mamak stall), mak belajar makan supper waktu pagi pagi bute, I started falling in love with teh tarik and tom yam and also mee goreng kerang cause back in kampung halaman mak tom yam or teh tarik was not really a popular item nor was I used to having supper.

I miss my friends then especially donny and boy. How I wish that I would be able to meet up with them one fine day (deep down my heart I still harbor hopes that this would happen one day). Boy was the one who “discovered” me. I remember my first visit to a karaoke with him.

And donny, he was the one who took me to central market, pwtc and the mall and not forgetting yow chuan plaza, the places which I really wanted to see. The places which opened my eyes to kuala Lumpur.
Moving on to the second phase in my life, I was staying in sea park pj. Tempat ni pun mempunyai sejarah dalam hidup mak as this was where mak mulakan hidup mak sebagai seorang pekerja. But it was a family house where I was sharing a room so tak adalah banyak sangat kenangan peribadi.

The third chapter was in subang jaya – usj 14 or subang court 7. this is where mak hilang “dara: mak. Wah gitu. Sesungguhnya subang jaya amat mendewasakan mak, terlalu banyak kenangan yang mak pendam di sini. sesungguhnya terlalu banyak sampai mak akan emotional,

Subang jaya thot me what was life about, this is where I discovered my first gay love with nizam. The man who had a big role in my life then and the man who is no more with me by my side. The man who taught me the meaning of love.

Mungkin ada di antara korang akan tertanya tanya why tetiba mak emotional and am on a trip down memory. The reason being the other day mak and a friend drove around that area which I last visited in 2001. yes it has been eight years since that mak tak menjejak kaki di situ. I must say that the place has changed. Some shops that I was very familiar with are now missing. Well eight years is not a short period lah kan.

But that is life kan nyah as you just cannot expect things to stay the way they are. Changes are inevitable. You must accept that as a fact and realize that life goes on as one cannot live with memories alone forever ...

patung kertas

2009-05-04T06:42:00.000-07:00

Before I start, firstly thanks to anonymous who posted his/her comment on my last entry. Thanks for sharing your views with me but unfortunately, I wish there was a way how we could communicate. So in case you are reading this, please feel free to contact me.

And moving on, I am writing this entry due to the request of former princess cum soon to be deputy ratu. Last Thursday, we both watched patung kertas at matic. First thing, we were kind of late and the traffic was heavy so we both had a feeling that we would be late. So sesampai je kat matic we both rushed in as we wanted to watch the teater from the start. Tapi kan, rupanya benda tu nak start lambat and not right on the dot. Of courselah the venue was full with adik adik, akak akak, nyah nyah and noks noks plus jejantans (jantan ke dik non).

Entahlah dek non. I just failed to menjiwai patung kertas. Maybe it was just not me or maybe it was just too commercialized. The thing was that there was so much of hype surrounding this drama and in the end I felt that it failed to live up to it.

Maybe patung kertas was just too convoluted. Okay u have this character named adik chu who comes to the city and menceburi dunia adik adik. Then you have abang long with his failed love affair and turning into being an adik adik. And then you have lots of confusion as not being sure what is actually going on…

Entah dik but akak rasa plot agak lemah sikit. Maybe they were just banking on the commercial aspect to sell patung kertas as sure punya all the akak akak, adik adik and noks noks semua akan berduyun duyun gi tonton as after all bukan selalu u get to watch these kind of efforts. Well in that sense fine lah but quality was surely compromised

Certain parts were just too confusing like who is abang long and adik chu sebenarnya. Abang long tetiba pula confuse , kejab nak jadi pondan and kejab nak jadi jantan and minah yang syok kat mamat tu pula apa hal. Ot was as if for a minute she forgot the fact that she is married with a son. And all of a sudden, adik chu decides to insaf. Entah dik, the more I story the more my blood will go upstairs.

Acting wise, hmm this is hard. First of all, I salute all the actors for their daringness to accept the roles offered to them. Yelah nak bawa such roles is surely not easy. Having said that, maybe we should learn to accept that we cannot expect a fine performance as there are bound to be weaknesses. As for jalal and ashraf, I felt the monologues were just too long and at times began to irritate. The voice modulation and tonation needed to be looked into seriously as at times nampak sangat suara ashraf was just not original.

As for the other cast, well they all did a good job but of course there were shades of overacting especially the Indian adik adik who was simply OVER and trying very best to steal the thunder and outshine everyone else. But after some point, it became mengada ngada

Another character I must mention is the pengacara of the show (if u watch the teater then you would know who I am talking about). She was just the right choice. Very witty, clever, good facial expression and her tonnation was really superb. In fact, I would say that she was the best performer although she only appeared for a short while

confessions of a shopaholic

2009-05-03T08:06:00.000-07:00

I wanted to watch this movie badly, very very badly. Partly I was influenced by all the reviews which I read and I found the plot to be rather interesting. So here I was expecting another well say a devil wears prada. But somehow, I just did not have the time to catch this movie at the cinemas. And I finally when I had the time, the movie was only screened at selected cinemas and at certain times which made it rather hard. So the other option left was vcd and that to for some reason, it took a while.

I remember reading somewhere that the book (by sophie kinsella) was far better than the movie. Well I have not read the book and I do not have the intention to do so especially after watching the movie. So how was it? Well maybe it was a case of having too high expectations or blame it on the fact that I was watching the movie at home and was not fully focused. Excuses excuses excuses… somehow I felt slightly let down as I expected more and I mean more ...

The movie directed by P.J, Hogan was about becky bloomwood who has always wanted to work for a reputed fashion magazine. She somehow ends up in a financial magazine and starts writing on how to spend wisely and becomes a popular name. However the truth is that becky is a shopaholic and has hugh debts. One day the truth comes out and her career is in trouble, her lover is upset with her and …

Isla fisher as becky well was an average performance. I expected more especially those cheeky one lines and cute expressions. But that was missing and she ended up in a mess and clumsy at times.

Luke Brandon who plays her boss turned lover is just cute and he melts you like how hugh grant was a couple of years ago.

As for the rest of the cast, well I have got nothing much to say indeed.

On the overall, okay the movie was can do lah but again there was no such scenes or dialogues that you can really relate to or feel emotionally attracted. It was just a blend affair which to me was such a waste.

penghujung rindu

2009-04-27T18:57:00.000-07:00

just felt like writing about this drama which I watched over astro prima recently. It was directed by amil kumar jha, a name which I have never heard before.

It was about a mother (mak nani @ rosnani jamil) and her four children who all have their own set of problems.

First comes the eldest son radhi khalid, his wife noniswara and daughter nur atiqah. The family in this problem is both parents are too busy with their career and neglect their daughter who becomes involved in drugs.

Next is the second son shahronizam, his wife zarina zainuddin and their two young children. The problem is that shahronizam simply follows everything by the book when dealing with the children and is over disciplined (well actually this family does not have much problem).

And next is the third son Zulkifly Azari and his wife Balkish who do not have any children. So, he has a second marriage and a daughter without the knowledge of Balkish.

Last, is the only daughter Izreen Azminda who well is a lesbian.

One day, mak nani decides to go and visit all her children and to find out what they are going through in life. That is when she discovers that all of them are having problems of their own. And in between this is the sub plot of mak nani and her former boyfriend Zulkifli Zain.

What I liked about the drama is in bits and pieces although on the overall, it could have been much improved. For example, the fact that all the four children are busy with their own lives and do not really bother with what is happening with their siblings.

There were two things which I particularly liked. First was the dialogue given by shaharonizam that “as we grow older, we have our own family and they become more important than our siblings”.

Another thing was the reaction of radhi when he discovers that his mother plans to remarry. He objects to it although he admits that he does not have enough time to spend with his mother.

As of acting, mak nani was good although I expected more from her maybe the screenplay should have been more focused.

Zulkifli zain, nur atiqah and balkish were alright.

Noniswara and zarina zainuddin did not impress me.

Radhi khalid was simply not fit for the role. He just did not do justice to that role.

Those who I thought were really good were sahahronizam, zulkifli azari and izreen azminda.

On the overall, it was good that there was less melodrama in this drama. And there were not the usual scenes which one could have expected ie the typical scenes.

Having said that, unfortunately, I wished that the drama could have been a much better effort and left better impression...

nota perpisahan buat ratu associates

2009-04-18T09:32:00.000-07:00

as you guys are aware by now, the unofficial handing over ceremony of ratu associates was completed successfully last week. alhamdulilah as it proceeded smoothly and there was no any untowards incident.

many have asked me why i wanted to give up the post, why suddenly. tak ada angin tak ada ribut. well, suffice to say that this was not a decision taken overnight but it was one made after serious thoughts and consideration. i would like to thank all of you especially deputy, princess, deputy princess, srikandi and legal advisor for urging me to reconsider and for stressing again and again that the ratu associates needs my leadership. i value that very very much.

but again nyah, changes are necessary and i cannot go on forever leading the association. we need a fusion of new blood to bring in the changes. to rejuvenate ratu associates. this is in line with the leadership changes in umno and the country where we now have a new prime minister. ratu associates must accept and embrace these changes in order for us to remain relevant. lagipun preparation must start now for the 13th general election and ratu associate must be ready. bearing all that in mind, i decided to step down. of course it was not an easy decision to make. but a true leader must be willing to sacrifice and i strongly believe in that demi masa depan yang cemerlang, gemilang and terbilang untuk ratu associates

and furthermore, i have the full trust in the new leadership under fairuz. he has been a very loyal and great deputy and i am honoured to have him to assist me. i believe that fairuz would be able to take ratu associates to greater heights, there has been a perception that he is weak and easily influenced but i believe that he is strong enough to lead ratu associates. time will tell of his leadership skills. i also have the full confidence that the princess and the new deputy ratu would assist fairuz in carrying out his responsibilities demi nusa, bangsa dan agama

i have decided that i would officially relinquish my position on may 15 and fairuz would take over on may 16. some people have asked me what i intend to do after this, well, i would observe ratu associates from a distance. i would not interfere in the running and administration of ratu associates as i believe in you guys. if at all i am invited to attend any events organised by ratu associates, i would come provided that i am free on that day.

i too would like to take this opportunity to thank each and every one of you for all the support which was given to me throughout my term as the ratu. we have gone thru a lot and all these will remain in my memory. pemimpin datang dan pergi but ratu associates akan kukuh berdiri selamanya.

i too would like to officially announce the new leadership in the following ranking and i hope that no changes is made to the names, positins and also the ranking
ratu - fairuz
princess - suat ling
deputy ratu - arni
deputy princess - adibah
secretary to the ratu associates - zuls
legal advisor/pegawai khas ratu - anis
pembantu peribadi ratu - umar

finally, as i said earlier i would leave on may 15. if there is a need to bring forward the date to april 30, i would inform you guys. but i can assure you all that i would not stay a day beyond may 15.

last but not least, buat semua, terimlah salam rindu dari ratu

KALAU ADA SUMUR DI LADANG
BOLEH HAMBA MENUMPANG MANDI
KALAU ADA UMUR YANG PANJANG
BOLEH KITA BERJUMPA LAGI

PUCUK PAUH DELIMA BATU
ANAK SEMBILANG DI TAPAK TANGAN
SUNGGUH JAUH DI NEGERI SATU
HILANG DIMATA DIHATI JANGAN

KAJANG PAK MALAU KAJANG BERLIPAT
KAJANG HAMBA MENGKUANG LAYU
DAGANG PAK MALAU DAGANG BERTEMPAT
DAGANG HAMBA MENUMPANG LALU

KALAU ADA JARUM YANG PATAH
JANGAN DISIMPAN DI DALAM PETI
KALAU ADA SILAP DAN SALAH
JANGAN DISIMPAN DI DALAM HATI

kerna terpaksa

2009-04-17T18:45:00.000-07:00

Kerna terpaksa aku melangkah pergi
Kerna terpaksa ku turut kata hati
Gementar tibuhku dengan keputusan ini
Biarpun pedih ku teruskan jua

Di antara kita mengapa ada dia
Biarpun hanya kawan biasa
Tapi ku rasa berlainan caranya
Hingga mencakar perasaanku
Terpaksaku
Terpaksaku membuat pilihan
Mengundurkan diri untuk kebahagiaanmu

Kerna terpaksa aku rela sendiri
Kerna terpaksa lalu aku menangis
Tertutup hatiku untuk bercinta lagi
Tidak ku tahu bila kan terbuka

Di antara kita mengapa ada dia
Biarpun hanya kawan biasa
Tapi ku rasa berlainan caranya
Hingga mencakar perasaanku
Andainya ku melakukan begitu
Bagaimanakah perasaanmu
Terpaksaku
Terpaksaku membuat pilihan
Mengundurkan diri untuk kebahagiaanmu

anugerah bintang popular berita harian

2009-04-12T08:35:00.000-07:00

INTRO
This is not going to be a review of anugerah bintang popular berita harian 2008 which was screened over tv3 last night from the arena of the stars genting highlands. Instead it is just a collection of things which I felt while watching the event.

PERFORMANCES
1. For a start, having diva Anita Sarawak as the opening act in a lime green attire singing akhirnya kini pasti was surely refreshing. She was energetic to say the least – at least for once we did away with the typical tv3’s muhibbah fiesta where you get a circus on the stage performing traditional Malay Indian and Chinese dances.
2. Next came stacy (of akademi fantasia last season I believe) well I have nothing to say oklah kot as have never been her fan nor have seen much of her.
3. Aizat with his popular number was ok lah
4. But must say i enjoyed the 60s numbers rendered in rock version by boy band kristal and the original pop yeh yeh singers tapi rasanya the segment was a bit too short

5. medley of jamal abdillah's songs sung by himself, sarah raisuddin and ayu - but again jamal's songs have always been my favourite

HOSTS
With sharifah shahira and adlin aman ramli, I just don’t know what to say especially of adlin aman ramli. one wonders well perlu ke double meaning dialogues. Can we just do away with it. And those not funny liners like “mana ibu aku… mak jangan terkinja kinja sampai buka tudung” OR “datuk manja (bh) orangnya manis manja tapi bukan gay” OR "suami saya tak datang pasal tak ada orang nak sponsor baju"

PRESENTERS
Not much to say except that
1. Fauzi Nawawi and Nisdawati – again double meaning and syok sendiri
2. Zizie ezette/nora danish and que haidar/linda jasmine and eizlan/maya karin/umi aida - oklah short and sweet

3.amy mastura/norish karman - amy was just sweet as usual, witty. classic and norish assisted her well

RESULTS
I guess the results were really very much as expected and there were not any upsets lah kot.
1.My favourite was the best tv actor category were veteran actor rosyam nor won defeating the much younger aaron aziz, aqasha, fahrin ahmad and ashraf muslim.
2. as for best tv actress category, newcomer dynaz defeated veterans abby abadi, fasha sandha, rita rudaini and Diana Danielle
3.best male singer and best female singer, it was not a surprise at all when mawi defeated adam, aizat, nubhan and amy search while siti nurhaliza beta elyana, jaclyn victor, mila and stacy.
4.Best movie actor was a surprise (at least for me) when que haidar beat the more established farid kamil, rusdi ramli, rosyam nor and saiful apek while in the female category, maya Karin was the choice over sharifah amani, vanida imran, erra fazira and liana jasmay

5. anugerah pencapaian sepanjang hayat - jamal abdillah (of coz he deserves it well what else can i say)

6.Artis paling popular – if you remember once upon a time back in the 80s and 90s the winners included francesca peters, fauziah ahmad daud and then siti nurhaliza took over the helm followed by rosyam nor and then saiful apek. This time around,, I thot the four strong contenders were (in my view) nabil, aznil nawawi, mawi and siti nurhaliza. The winner was nabil.

OVERALL
just one thing, if only the script was better and we had professional hosts, maybe the show would have been better. but again, someone please tell adlin aman ramli that double meaning jokes and irritating statements is just NOT funny. PLEASE gimme a break

n25 bukit selambau

2009-04-07T20:31:00.000-07:00

SUNDAY 5th APRIL 2009
firstly sorry guys as i have not been blogging for sometime. have been rather busy and tired. it is less than 36 hours to go before the votes are cast in bukit selambau, bukit gantang and batang ai.
i do not wish to go into a detailed account on any one of these three by elections, the less said is enuff, i guess. cuma cant wait to go back. i miss my home, i miss kl and most importantly, i just cant stand the weather here. it is just too hot here and it is making me sick

some things have been happening of late and i can only say praises to allah swt for everything in life. and as they say things happen in our life for a reason kan, whatever it is, i just want to put the past behind me and embark on a new life. but i will never forget what i went thru ... all those moments and all my friends who were there for me throughout the journey.

MONDAY 6th APRIL 2009
by this time tomorrow, the votes are being cast, the campaigning is over and all what is left is hardwork, hope, aspirations, dreams and fruits of success.

i had hoped for good news in permatang pauh and kuala terengganu but it just did not arrive. this time around, im leaving it open although of course success would be sweet and perhaps serve as a farewell gift for me. but again allah swt maha kuasa kan

I need to write this too, something happened today and something which I would never forget. Met up with someone and shared some moments. I do not know whether the other person was sincere or merely putting up an act, but as far as I am concerned, I really meant whatever that I said and it came deep down from my heart

TUESDAY 7th APRIL 2009
Malas nak go into details as the verdict has been delivered. One just has to accept it and not point fingers elsewhere.

excitements galore in march

2009-03-21T05:13:00.000-07:00

It has been almost a month since I last blog, have been rather busy. There has been many things which happened recently tapi as I have previously, some things perhaps better keep to oneself.

It is already march 21, the most awaited month with political excitement abuzz. Another few days and hours to go exactly, just cant believe how fast time flies indeed. Princess was in kota kinabalu and was just back a day earlier, am surely missing her, no matter what.

Have been watching some malay dramas over astro and tv3 but nothing that significant to write about really as can do aje lah kan.

Now back to march, the umno general assembly, am having mixed feelings, yes a chapter is about to end and a new one is about to start. It would be drawing the curtains for some and the start of a new life for others. Whichever way it is going to be, am feeling sorry for those whose political career and ambitions would come to an end within the next few days. But again that is life all about lah kan at times you are up and at times you are down. But must say that I am grateful to march for the wonderful news which it brought to my life. I cannot be more happier and hopefully this would be the start of far better things, bukanlah nak bergembira atas kesusahan atau penderitaan orang lain but it is just that I have been bearing this pain for a long long time and it is surely time to let it all go.

To those who are about to embark on anew dimension, I just wanna say all the best throughout. On the other hand, to those whose political career is about to end, sorry but you had your time and now let us pass the baton over to someone

And as soon as umno is over, we then have the bukit selambau and bukit gantang by elections, which is a different chapter all together. But for now let us concentrate on umno first

when you tell me that you love me

2009-03-20T07:07:00.000-07:00

I wanna call the stars
Down from the sky
I wanna live a day
That never dies
I wanna change the world
Only for you
All the impossible
I wanna do

I wanna hold you close
Under the rain
I wanna kiss your smile
And feel the pain
I know what's beautiful
Looking at you
In a world of lies
You are the truth

And baby
Everytime you touch me
I become a hero
I'll make you safe
No matter where you are
And bring you
Everything you ask for
Nothing is above me
I'm shining like a candle in the dark
When you tell me that you love me

I wanna make you see
Just what
I was
Show you the loneliness
And what it does

You walked into my life
To stop my tears
Everything's easy now
I have you here

And baby
Everytime you touch me
I become a hero
I'll make you safe
No matter where you are
And bring you
Everything you ask for
Nothing is above me
I'm shining like a candle in the dark
When you tell me that you love me

In a world without you
I would always hunger
All I need is your love
to make me stronger and baby

Everytime you touch me
I become a hero
I'll make you safe
No matter where you are
And bring you
Everything you ask for
Nothing is above me
I'm shining like a candle in the dark
When you tell me that you love me
When you tell me that you love me

masihkah ada cinta

2009-02-22T08:15:00.000-08:00

its been a week since i got back from chennai. nothing much has happened since then. have not been feeling well over the past few days. down with flu, fever, heavy head and the works. met up with former princess, secretary and mr n for dinner today at devi's corner. am suppossed to have dinner with friends of education desk on friday. kind of looking forward to it as it has been a while since i last lepak with that group especially queen mother and ratu of the 80s and 90s era. fun juga tau...

Betapa pun jauh pandangan mata

Betapa pun bebas kaki melangkah

Namun terasa diri terpenjara

Oleh suatu ikatan yg tidak ketara

Walau kau cuba menjauhkan diri

Walau kadangkala aku membenci

Namun setiap kali terpandang mu

Kehangatan di hatiku dingin bagai salju

Antara kasih dan kasihan

Antara jemu dan harapan

Biarkanlah di sini

Aku terus begini sendiri

Andainya ada yang dapat mengerti

Gelisah yg datang melanda diri

Masihkah ada rasa cinta

Ataukah sekadar kau berpura-pura

salam dari chennai (part 2/final)

2009-02-17T07:23:00.000-08:00

Part Two (final) - sunday february 15
The third day of my trip was the one which I had eagerly waited for. I decided not to follow the others shopping as I wanted to be on my own as I had a list of places that I wanted to go and I was not sure if the others would wanna go to the same place. So a brilliant came up and I called up kawan kepada ratu asking if she still had the hp number of the taxi agent whom we hired during our previous trip to Chennai. Thank god she did. I called him up and we made arrangements for his driver to pick me up.

We started our journey at about 10am on a trip around Chennai – looking at people out on a Sunday. We saw the colonial buildings first and boy I was impressed to see the buildings that the british left behind in Chennai. Truly remarkable, next we went to the famous marina batch. God it seems that the entire Chennai was at the beach. I was shocked to see the crowd. People just love beaches indeed but I cant imagine myself being there among the mad crowd. We also passed by the slum areas and saw how morning life was for them. Next we went to a cinema just to observe the crowd. Next had breakfast at malaysia’s very own pelita nasi kandar in pondi bazaar, near t nagar. They have the same food they serve in kl minus the beef – sambal sotong, sate, rojak, nasi goring, mee goring, kway teow and the tarik. And the waiters speak in malay althou they are Indian nationals.

From there we went to pothys and saravanan store. God it was crowded as if people were getting things for free. Hmm. I also went to spencer plaza and that place is amazing indeed. Finally went to Chennai city centre – never imagined that Chennai would have such a complex like that. The crowd was just cool and happening and the place was so modern and they had a variety of things to offer.

We started our journey at about 10am on a trip around Chennai – looking at people out on a Sunday. We saw the colonial buildings first and boy I was impressed to see the buildings that the british left behind in Chennai. Truly remarkable, next we went to the famous marina batch. God it seems that the entire Chennai was at the beach. I was shocked to see the crowd. People just love beaches indeed but I cant imagine myself being there among the mad crowd. We also passed by the slum areas and saw how morning life was for them. Next we went to a cinema just to observe the crowd. Next had breakfast at malaysia’s very own pelita nasi kandar in pondi bazaar, near t nagar. They have the same food they serve in kl minus the beef – sambal sotong, sate, rojak, nasi goring, mee goring, kway teow and the tarik. And the waiters speak in malay althou they are Indian nationals.

From there we went to pothys and saravanan store. God it was crowded as if people were getting things for free. Hmm. I also went to spencer plaza and that place is amazing indeed. Finally went to Chennai city centre – never imagined that Chennai would have such a complex like that. The crowd was just cool and happening and the place was so modern and they had a variety of things to offer.

One thing I forgot, if someone were to ask me what is Chennai, I would define it in a sentence as – the land where everybody knows everybody and where everybody is a somebody

Why? Practically most people I met kept on bragging about how they know so and so and how important they are. Like for instance, this guy let us call him A was going on and on about how he practically knew all the stars and that he was close to a particular comedian named D. It just happened that while we were waiting for our car to pick us up after dinner at the hotel, D was also there. We took the opportunity to say hye to him but A did not participate in that session. D saw A and they did not even exchange a word or a smile at each other. What a sight kan especially after all the stories that A said. Tapi yang kelakarnya after that incident, A langsung tak nampak macam segan ke apa and instead, he went on bragging as his usual self. Hmmm

Yes before I finish this entry, I am sure that many of you are curious to know whether I indeed met up with dheepak in India. Well the answer to that question and whether I met someone else or had a threesome hmmm ...meet me in person to get the answer..

salam dari chennai (part one)

2009-02-16T18:42:00.000-08:00

Chennai day one (feb 13)
To start off, some of you guys might find my story to be slightly unbelievable and to an extend rather fabricated, but believe me that I am telling the truth and nothing else. Honestly speaking, I too never expected to be faced with such a situation but again, the unexpected does happen at times kan. So here we go …

As promised was at klia at 8am. Our group consisted of nine people while another two had left earlier and would join us in Chennai. None in the group were pleasant looking or the type whom you want to manja manja with. My first hint of what was in store came when we were at the immigration and were using the passport check in counter. Only me and another girl were familiar with it as the others were a bit too jakun as they have never used it before. So there were some hilarious moments as the others were totally clueless.

Next we were in the flight and it seems five of them have never taken a flight before. So they were extremely nervous. The guy sitting next to me asked if he had to switch off his handphone. To that I replied that he had to do so and he then asked me how if people call him up???

The other guy was busy talking to his friends while we were already seated on the flight. He was telling them that he was already in and seated next to the window. And he was going on and on. And if that was not enuff, a stranger seating at the back was screaming his lungs out and it seemed that the guy had some problems with his wife as she did not respect her mother-in-law.so the guy was fuming mad. It seems he was going to India to set things right. he was telling someone that he is going to kill his wife once he reached India. For all you know, he might have completed his mission by now. I believe so. The poor stewardess had to go on to remind the two on the need to switch off their handphones.

Upon reaching Chennai, I realised that the construction work at the airport was still going on, well when I arrived in chennai last may the work was then on going and it seems that it has yet to be completed. We later on checked in at the hotel and had lunch before starting our first mission.

We visited a tv station which belonged to Jeyalalitha or better known as amma, who was a former popular heroine back in the 60’s and 70’s era. She is said to have got into a romantic affair with legendary actor M.G.R. when he became the Tamil Nadu Chief Minister, he brought her into politics and groomed her as his successor. upon his death, she went on to become the Chief Minister but in the last election she lost, (Rumours has it that Amma was MGR’s mistress). What I found interesting was the story by a senior officer in the tv station. He went on to relate the pressure. He said there were instances when AMMA would go hysterical if the station showed movies where a scene has the background of pictures or flags or anything belonging to opposition parties. There is also a long list of actors/actress whose movies should not be shown over the station as it stars those whom Amma considers as her rival. And if the station shows videoclips of MGR and another actress Latha (who snatched the glamour from Amma) she would be fuming mad. Phew……

We too visited avm studio and production house. Back in the 60’s to 90’s era, mr avm had opened up this place which served as a hot spot for outdoor shooting of tamil movies where different set would be erected according to the needs. Upon the demise of its owner mr avm, his sons inherited the studio but due to family problems, the third generation of the family decided to go separate ways and divided the studio to three portions which is managed by each one of the three sons and their families,

We then had dinner at an exclusive fine dining place but the food is nothing to shout about as biasa biasa je. As the nite was still young, we opted to take a walk along the hotel as sesaje nak tgk nite life. Sadly it seems in Chennai, life comes to an end by 10pm even the stalls tepi jalan dah tutup walhal the next day was valentine. Kata orang valentine day is not popularly celebrated in Chennai as this would invite protests from the religious groups.

Chennai day two (feb 14)
Life began rather early today. Had breakfast at the hotel and then went to visit another tv station. Nothing much happened here. Later had lunch at a vegetarian restaurant and then went for the awards show.

To my shock, the event was held at a school hall perhaps signifying how less significant it was. The crowd tak sampai 500 orang. A good thing was the show started on time tapi attendance was damn poor. More than two third of the ward winners were not present to receive the awards although they were aware of it. The show was damn boring to say the least. And the best part is the minimum personalities who came to receive the awards went back immediately without waiting for the show to end. It seems that it is a practice in India for these personalities to go back as soon as they have received their awards and they need not wait to the end. And thus half way through the event, the hall was half empty and towards the end, I think there were less than 20 people present. Thus not surprising when earlier in the day, we were asking tv station people about the show and no one was aware of it. The best part is that even the Chennai media did not cover it… hmm

chennai revisited

2009-02-12T12:26:00.000-08:00

Chennai. How can I ever forget our trip (me, deputy, the then princess who is now known as the former princess, friend to the ratu and legal advisor) back in march 2007 – that would be almost two years come next month.

Since then I had visited Chennai again last may but it was on a different purpose – trip mencari ketenangan katakan he he.

It was one fine day while I was at work when I got a sms from kak m asking if I wanted to go to Chennai. I jumped at the very mention. Who wouldn’t kan kan kan. So instead of replying her sms, I got up and was walking to her place when a friend stopped and asked where was I rushing to. My answer to that question was “to Chennai”. I could see the looks on my friend’s face perhaps wondering what was wrong with me.

So there I was with kak m enquiring her more about the trip and soon cik yah joined us. Cik yah was indeed surprised to see how excited I was as she told me that she had a feeling that I might not be deeply interested as I might have gone to Chennai before. I told cik yah that I have been to Chennai before but that place excites me forever no matter how many times I go there. She then remarked about how she has the same feeling when going to bali although she has been there again and again.

Am here waiting for tomorrow morning – the scheduled day of my three days visit to Chennai. Okay before I forget the purpose of my visit is to attend an awards show. At this point, I do not have much info on what awards show it is. I was told briefly that it was something about honoring those behind the scene. But then I was told that some stars would be present and that we would be getting a chance to sit with them and perhaps have lunch or dinner with them. At this point, I do not dare to list my expectation on the event as from my past experience dealing with Indian stars, it would perhaps be better to wait and see and not have any expectation.

But do I really care about the event. Not really. What is more important is that – Chennai here I come. My flight is at about 10am on Friday and I would be leaving India on Sunday evening and be reaching klia on Monday early morning.

i really dont know what the programme is gonna be like as for now, it seems that we might have a lot of free time. of course, i really hope that i would get the chance to go to pothy's and of course pondi bazaar. a bonus would be if i could go to spencer plaza and a bigger bonus would be if i can watch a movie. but i prefer to take one thing at a go and see how things eventually turn out to be lah kan. the organisers at this point do not look well prepared but again let us give them the benefit of doubt and see how things progress.

whatever it is, i just hope to have some good time and memorable moments...

dostana

2009-02-03T17:13:00.000-08:00

It has been sometime since I last watched a hindi reason. No specific reason exactly just that there has not been any hindi movie which I felt like rushing to watch indeed.

Recently, a friend S went on and on promoting a movie that she watched recently dostana. As far as I know, dost in hindi means friends thus I concluded that dostana meant friendship.

There were several factors which attracted me to dostana. First it was produced by karan johar, secondly it starred two hot hunks john Abraham and abishek bachchan, third it seems there are many juicy scenes in the movie and finally, the movie is about adik adik.

by the way, karan johar – who doesn’t know this adik adik who directed among others kuch kuch hota hai and kabhi kushi kabhi gham. But I have never liked him as always thot he was kekwat well biasalah adik adik. Saw him once in genting highlands and just hated the very sight of him, but again adik adik glam biasalah kekwat senantiasa as if the world revolves around them. but again, memanglah kan … tak diva namanya gitu

so finally I watched dostana, my my my the movie is damn damn damn yummy that you might turn wet or get a hard one (depends on whether you are a betina or a jantan or an adik adik). Nyah basah ratu tengok. To say that john abraham has a delicious body is just not sufficient, you can just bite every inch of his body. Watch out the opening scene when john Abraham is clad in a swimming trunk and shows his ass, akak mak basah kuyup nyah

and abishek bachchan is equally yummy. The first few scenes when he is in bed aiyoo cair mak terus okay…..

the story is about two young bachelors in Miami namely sam and kunal who lie that they are gay in order to rent a house belonging to neha. The reason being neha’s auntie is determined only to rent out the house to girls. As the story progress, both of them start falling in love with neha who is unaware that the two are actually straight. On the other hand love develops between neha and her boss.

Acting wise, abishek bachchan is such a natural that you don’t feel that he is mocking himself being gay. John Abraham is good but could be better as in some scenes, he lacks the facial expression which is required and instead looks rather stoned and clueless. Watch out the part towards the climax (I wont reveal it as to keep you guys in suspense when the two prove their undivided love to neha). In that scene, they just steal the thunder.

Priyanka chopra is fine as neha while kiron kher as the mum does what she is best at although at times you want to see more from her. Bobby deol looks hot but seems to restrain himself.

and also the background score is something to watch out for also the first song.

Cuma I felt the movie could have been slightly better with more fine directing as in this case nampak macam ada loophole sikit. But overall, it is one of those movie which you just cant help but laugh out loud. Malah there were many scenes which I just couldn’t control myself … do not miss out on this one guys...

erti sebuah kehidupan @ tributes

2009-01-20T06:09:00.000-08:00

This is a tribute to former princess. Read her entries where she mentioned about missing the ratu. I just wanted her to know that the feeling is mutual. It has indeed been a long time since we last met and that was before I went to kuala terengganu. Plus minus I have not seen her for three weeks. Mak rindu teramat sangat kat dia as much as dia pun dok merindui mak. Mememanglah kekadang rasa kekwat dengan nyah gedik tu kan especially bile her failed conspiracy to overthrow the ratu but whatever said and done, she is a great friend. We have gone thru far so much things in life. Crying for each other and all those stuff. Miss talking to her. Miss having dinner with her … enuff said kang terperasan

On that note, juga nak mention a thing or two about deputy princess kak deebah. The first time I met kak deebah memanglah terasa dia kekwat sangat and that is why I could not understand why deputy rapat kat dia. But the more I get to know kak deebah, I realise that she is a nice person, a good and true friend. Di sebalik wajah adik-adiknya, ada kelembutan and keikhlasan (wah gitu). How I wish that kak deebah is here in kl with us and not jauh terpisah in utara. Namun apa daya as we don’t get everything we want in life kan, as the saying goes you win some and you lose some. Itulah namanya erti sebuah kehidupan …

There's a hero
If you look inside your heart
You don't have to be afraid
Of what you are

There's an answer
If you reach into your soul
And the sorrow that you know
Will melt away

And then a hero comes along
With the strength to carry on
And you cast your fears aside
And you know you can survive

So when you feel like hope is gone
Look inside you and be strong
And you'll finally see the truth
That a hero lies in you

It's a long road
When you face the world alone
No one reaches out a hand
For you to hold

You can find love
If you search within yourself
And the emptiness you felt
Will disappear

And then a hero comes along
With the strength to carry on
And you cast your fears aside
And you know you can survive

So when you feel like hope is gone
Look inside you and be strong
And you'll finally see the truth
That a hero lies in you

Lord knows

Dreams are hard to follow
But don't let anyone
Tear them away

Hold on

There will be tomorrow
In time, you'll find the way

And then a hero comes along
With the strength to carry on
And you cast your fears aside
And you know you can survive

So when you feel like hope is gone
Look inside you and be strong
And you'll finally see the truth
That a hero lies in you

that a hero lies in you

tua mengejar kita

2009-01-19T21:19:00.000-08:00

In recent times, I have been meeting many old friends (thanks to face book), some whom I have not met for close to two decades. I just enjoy doing this coz I believe that friendship is very precious. Life is short so maybe one should just grab the opportunity when you have all the time in the world. You never know or you can never tell when you would meet that person again especially if we live in different states. Some of these people were those who used to be good friends, acquaintances, guys who I had a crush on and …

So what do I get out of it. A trip down memory land. And also to see if I have been missing anything without them in my life. But as it turned out thus far, most of them have aged and no longer have the charm. Maybe age is catching up… some people age gracefully including yours truly as I think that I look good now a days, but unfortunately some people don’t … the wrinkle says it all in some cases …

Ingatkah semua
Hari tua pasti menjelma
Detik waktu yang laju
Pantasnya tak akan menunggu

Begitu usia
Makin hari makin meninggi
Siang malam berganti
Yang pergi tak berulang sekali lagi

Begitu cepat putaran masa
Terkadang tanpa pun kita sedar
Siapa yang lebih bersedia
Dialah yang selesa

Tua mengejar
Pasti tiba masanya
Kau merasa
Hidup tak segagah
Waktu remaja
Di mana tenaga
Menyala-nyala
Di hari tua
Makin terpadam semua

Tua mengejar di mana kau berada
Tak berbeza semua kan merasa
Itu hakikat tak bisa hindari
Walau seinci bersihkan diri
Sebelum terlewat nanti

Hey kawan semua
Aku cuma memberi pesan
Andai cukup bekalan
Tak mungkin kita kehausan

Usahlah menunggu
Uban memutih di rambutmu
Cepat-cepat berilmu
Semoga tak menuju di jalan buntu

of keropok lekor, roti paun and kuala terengganu

2009-01-17T23:57:00.000-08:00

note: am just back from p36 kuala terengganu. as i said during my posting on p44 permatang pauh, this time too, i want to avoid talking much about the political scenario. instead, what i wanna write here is just day to day events and some memorable incidents.

It was a long 14 days indeed. I came to kuala terengganu with mixed feelings. The past was there to haunt me. Kuala terengganu holds a special meaning in my life. I lost my life in kuala terengganu and I found it back here – that was between 2001 and 2002. naturally, it was normal for me to have that déjàvu sense. I came here thinking about him as he was here too but I was not pinning hopes to see him. So eventually when I did not get to see him, it did not hurt me at all as I was not hoping for it. To me, if it happened than oklah but if not then tak pe. Maybe that was why I took it easily. Had I came to kt hoping to meet him, then I would have ended frustrated. One fine day after about 10 days of my stay here, he called me wanting to meet. I was busy and I did not really want to make an effort to see hi. Well actually, if I wanted, I could have done it but I just did not see the need for it. I mean why should I when he did not took my presence in kt seriously. Busy. Ah alasan semata mata. Siapa tak busy. Maybe if I went all out to put aside my life and meet him when he called, we would have seen each other. But I did not see the reason for it and I am not regretting my action.

So where do I start. The sandy beach, the sounds of the wave. The blue-green sea. I can just go on an on. As usual I requested for a room facing the sea. I wanted to sleep and wake up to the sounds of the wave … a faithful lover.

Kuala terengganu has so much to offer. Restoran nasi kerabu how can I ever forget although some may feel that the price is a bit high but tak kisah lah janji sedap. The first day that I walked in, the waitress gave me a smile and started looking at me semacam, after a while she asked me when did I came back and that she was told that I have gone back to kl. I was speechless. I last met her in march 2004 and she remembers me. Talking about simple kampung folk. The cashier too asked me how I was and why I did not come back to kt for a long time. How can I forget the yummy sotong masak putih and the spicy sambal belacan.

Uncle chua ok lah not really too great. Kak mah nasi dagang at batu burok which was said to be very popular although I felt biasa je. Still think that chendering has some better ones. Hill side café – the place that had the excellent asam boi slurpee but somehow I just went there
once as it just did not appeal. Wonder why. Mama tomyam ok lah boleh lah. Restoran penyu – biasa je. But the best is puri bali or is it bali puri. The ikan siakap stim cili limau was just excellent althou the price too was equally impressive. But I simply miss that ikan. If only I knew it was so sedap would have been there a few times earlier.

Kemaman coffee house. A must. The auntie is so kecoh one and politically aware. But her char kway teow was just excellent. Fish cake slices, prawn and lots of eggs. Have never tasted char kway teow as good as this one. Most places kurang egg and fish cake slices. Sayang only sempat go there twice.

Roti paun – kuala terengganu’s new found sensation. I just donno how it started. Maybe innoncently. Carol wrote on her fb about roti paun and suddenly it went on to become a mega hit all over. Suddenly people went crazy over roti paun so much so that I was asked to tapau back some to kl. Maybe it was forced and not asked. Roti paun reminded me to the soft buns found in old chinese shops in my homewtown. Am sure the auntie must be wondering why was there such a big craze for it suddenly. Maybe terengagnu state govt should consider making roti paun a tourist attraction.

This entry would not be complete without mentioning about keropok lekor at seberang takir. There is this shop along the road which is just gile. I was told of how people hAd to queue up for an hour. Crazy lah.

FINALLY the by election. Well the verdict has been delivered. You asked for it …

berlari ke langit

2009-01-03T06:05:00.001-08:00

And thanks to astro max, I also got the chance to watch berlari ke langit recently. Had wanted to watch it about five years ago but did not have the opportunity. This is about a guy who disappears in the sea for sometime. His villagers think that he is dead and thus his girlfriend is engaged to someone else. He then comes back and falls in love again with another girl…

As for the cast nothing to shout bout – rosyam nor and fasha sandha delivered what was required. But towards the end was rather confusing and misleading. The script too had loopholes. However what was interesting in this effort directed by bade was the cinematography – excellent. The location was well portrayed and had brilliant camera works.

7 perhentian

2009-01-03T05:13:00.000-08:00

7 perhentian. I had wanted to watch this movie for quite sometime since it was released, I guess about two or three years ago. what interested me is that I was told the movie is about a man yang dibelenggu kesepian dalam hidup and how he comes across a girl who brings him happiness. So there I was on one Saturday afternoon glued in front of astro prima watching this movie.

It was one of the earlier efforts by razak mohaideen and featured farid kamil (who was yet to gain wide popularity then), erra fazira, vanida imran (she is a great actress now but at the point that this movie was made, her acting talent was simply yet to be shaped – this was prior to her award winning days), wahidah and maya Karin.

The story is about a man who goes crazy (not explained clearly why), loses his job, fights with his wife and leaves the house heading towards the south. Along the journey, he meets a girl and slowly falls in love with her (enuff said as revealing too much would take the suspense out)

As for acting, err as I said this movie was made sometime ago and thus the actors were then not as polished as they are bow. And thus you got half baked performance, overacting and plainly irritating at times – especially farid kamil (why scream at every other momemt), vanidah (grow up girl), wahida (aiyoo nak tunjuk pandai ke).

The story was an interesting one but there were far too many loopholes and this clearly showed the weakness in the screenplay. If only more attention was given or a better director helmed this effort, then 7 perhentian would have been far better………

And thanks to astro max, I also got the chance to watch berlari ke langit recently. Had wanted to watch it about two years ago but did not have the opportunity. This is about a guy who disappears in the sea for sometime. His villagers think that he is dead and thus his girlfriend is engaged to someone else. He then comes back and falls in love again with another girl…

As for the cast nothing to shout bout – rosyam nor and fasha sandha delivered what was required. But towards the end was rather confusing and misleading. The script too had loopholes. However what was interesting in this effort directed by bade was the cinematography – excellent. The location was well portrayed and had brilliant camera works.

reunion and cuci cuci mata session

2009-01-02T23:23:00.000-08:00

Just had dinner with “splinter group” of famous five couple of hours ago. It was me, former princess, secretary and abang n minus jj who according to former princess did not reply to her sms indicating whether or not she was coming. Tak pelah maybe she was too busy …

Anyway, we were supposed to meet up at 7pm at madam kwan’s bangsar. But I was a bit late as had an appointment with my hairstylist ogy. Yelah ratu kenalah nampak chantek gitu kan. So by the time I and former princess sampai, it was about 735pm. Abang n and secretary were already sited tengah lihat menu katanya baru sampai.

Former princess had mee Cantonese while the three of us settled for char kway teow, I had actually wanted the nasi lemak but they did not have daging rendang and it came with ayam so I decided to opt for char kway teow.

After dinner, abang n nak gi thani so we accompanied him to telawi street bistro. It was kind of fun because dah lama tak hang out kat those type of places. The best part was cuci mata. Banyaklah jugak kan walaupun tak adalah yang macam gile babi best. Yang jenis macam I want you now, tapi can do lah. Not bad. Perhaps if we had stayed longer, there would have been more.

Secretary was hooked to this mamat shim shim meri yang dengan satu minah tangachi. To me ok je lah as number one, I am not into shim shim meri and number two I have seen better looking shim shim meri. Yang ni setakat bolehlah, tapi one thing awek dia out noks.

The thani session was fun as tetiba ada session karaoke lah pulak, and as usual no prizes for guessing who stole the thunder but of course adalah yang nak enter frame kan. We had the signature numbers – menaruh harapam, anggapanmu, cinta yang terbiar, songs by fransescca peters and others. Abang n pula leka dengan koleksi lagu lagu rock era 90an.

It was a good session no doubt as we have not done this for a long time, yang ada sebelum ni ostly dinner sessions je. Kebetulan me and abang n would be camping in kt for two weeks from Monday. Secretary would be going to Vietnam for five days from Tuesday while princess would be off to sabah for two months from mid of the month. And abang n is getting transferred to ganu kite from feb. pendek cerita, we wont be meeting for at least two weeks and in some cases, slightly longer.

Conclusion, I love you guys and thou it sounds cliché, but friendship is an unique gift …

welcome 2009 @ thank you 2008

2008-12-30T22:30:00.000-08:00

2008 is coming to an end and as I am writing this, various images and thoughts pass by my mind. In a way I am very glad that 2008 is coming to an end. As I have said previously (in my entry at the start of 2008), I quote:

“I do not wish to go on to write about what the past year meant for me as from my past experience, perhaps such things are best kept to one’s heart as at times, people out there are not interested in such things (sorry guys but this is a lesson I learnt in the past). “

moving on, I would like to thank all of you who appeared in my life throughout 2008. thank you for the memories guys and your friendship means a lot to me. I love you guys and I treasure your friendship – former princess, acting princess, deputy, secretary, legal advisor, deputy princess and everybody.

Not to forget ratu associates. This year was a remarkable one as we saw changes in the form of the appointment of a new acting princess and deputy princess. And of course our former princess also known as srikandi is still with us. I wish all the best for ratu associates in the coming year and as the supreme council of ratu associates had decided unanimously, there won’t be any election in the year 2009.

With that I leave you guys with this song:

First I was afraid
I was petrified
Kept thinking
I could never live without you by my side
But I spent so many nights thinking how you did me wrong
I grew strong
I learned how to carry on and so you're back from outer space
I just walked in to find you here with that sad look upon your face
I should have changed my stupid lock
I should have made you leave your key
If I had known for just one second you'd be back to bother me

Go on now go walk out the door
just turn around now'cause you're not welcome anymore
weren't you the one who tried to hurt me with goodbye
you think I'd crumble
you think I'd lay down and die
Oh no, not
I will survive as long as i know how to love
I know I will stay alive
I've got all my life to live
I've got all my love to give
and I'll survive
I will survive

It took all the strength
I had not to fall apart
kept trying hard to mend
the pieces of my broken heart
and I spent oh so many nights
just feeling sorry for myself
I used to cry
Now I hold my head up high
and you see me somebody new
I'm not that chained up little person
still in love with you
and so you felt like dropping in
and just expect me to be free now
I'm saving all my loving
for someone who's loving me

bisikan azazil

2008-12-26T23:39:00.000-08:00

bisikan azazil.

What an offering. Really thought provoking and brilliant. An interesting effort full of twists that you would just have difficulties in finding out where the story is leading to and what is in store…

But before I go on read this dialogue:
“dah dua bulan you tak sentuh I” – what a dialogue uttered by tina (vanidah imran) to her husband tahir (ako mustapha). Mak suka that dialogue. I mean imagine kan ako punya yummy body and in this drama he has put on weight. Cute round full squeezable ass and tough chest. I like ……………….

Anyway the drama is about wawa (nabila huda) who runs away from home after fighting with her mum tina.

Somehow she then ends up as a pengkid (this transformation is not explained clearly – no reasons as to why she turns out so) and leads a rather affordable life (also no details on where she gets the money or what she does for her living).

Tina on learning about the change in wawa persuades her to come back home but wawa refuses. Ada pulak flashback, rupanya wawa bercinta dengan fahrin ahmad and had an abortion.

Then one day, tina is murdered and police suspect wawa to be the culprit. Tahir bails her and keeps her under his custody at home which she objects to no success.

We later find out the reason as rupanya … (I don’t wanna spoil your suspense)…

As for acting, vanidah and ako were ok tapi kurang fine touch (something was not complete) (watch out vanidah’s facial expression in the scene where she confronts wawa at the night club except for the rather fake slap on wawa’s face). (tapi kan the scene after tina comes back from the night club macam tak real je – nampak sangat kelemahan the director and layar lara or screenplay – more emotion should have been given here)

Nabilah huda memang good be it as wawa or the pengkid. A discovery I thought was enot (who was previously seen in comedies) as the jealous pengkid while Mimie suhaiza (ah ah yang kena tangkap khalwat dengan Norman hakim) well she acted as a bohsia and mak suka suka (so the bitch especially the scene where she was interrogated by the police)

director rashid sibir who in recent times has been giving the ususl tearjerker proves his other side in this effort... hopefully we would get to see more of this side in his future offerings

and finally, in case ada rerun of this cerita over astro, please catch it. and if you feel confused in the early scenes, dont worry as you would only get the full picture at the very end.

santa claus ... listen to the ratu

2008-12-24T23:28:00.000-08:00

during my primary school days and to a certain part of my secondary school period, i have always believed in the existence of santa claus. i thot that he was for real and i believed that he would actually come from house to house thru the chimney with gifts. and i wondered how in the world would he have enuff time to do so. it was only much later that i realised that santa only existed in fantasy and not reality.

christmas has always been a time which i look forward to. not so much for the fruit cakes and the roasted turkey, but i look forward to the tall green christmas tree, the season of joy, the sharing-charing-giving-concept, the fabulous shopping (especially for toiletries and perfumes), christmas carol and most importantly santa...

you see being born in kuching and living there is different than semenanjung, people there are more tolerant of others race and religion, in fact u have more christians in kuching than the malays, i went to a catholic school and had a brother as the headmaster. we all mixed freely, respecting one another and were never involved in any racial conflicts. perhaps my growing up days explains why i feel so close to christmas.

what do i wish for christmas this year? well, i hope that santa would grant me what i want - to find love. yes i must be kidding. guys forgive me but im in that mood - the pms - depressed. im alone. no one wants me. lonely. alone. single. uwahhhhhh. i have been feeling this way over the past few days and i just have no clue why ... and when it would end.

something tells me that i would find santa this year but again this is what i have been feeling in the past and it never materialised so i am not sure how far it would be true this time around. but till then i will continue looking for santa

as i said, since young, i have seen how people exchange gifts during xmas and this has fascinated me a lot. perhaps that is why me, former princess and RA secretary came out with this idea of having a christmas dinner and exchange gifts. we decided that the gifts should not be more than rm25 per person and to make things easier, we also opted for a wish list where you would name three things which you wanted as a gift. the reason being so that you dont end up with something that you dont like or do not want.

as for the ratu, i told former princess that i wanted a drinking mug. not the usual ones but i wanted the tall type or the big one where you can fill up lots of water. actually i had wanted to buy this for some time but had no time to look around. having it senanglah nak minum kat office kan. but i told princess to make it something different. i like the tall types and with lots of colour and pictures of love or something like that baru best kan.

as for secretary, i requested something from body shop. my first choice was shower gel and my second choice was lip balm.

as for my gift to them, secretary requested shower gel from bodyshop or an executive planner from starbucks. while former princess wanted shower gel from marks and spencer. so there i was at mid valley/gardens looking for the gift for them. i bought secretary strawberry shower gel. and was in marks and spencer, they had a lot of choice of shower gel for woman and the price tak adalah mahal sangat. more or less same dengan bodyshop, but the choice for guys macam kurang sikit. but dont mind buying here in the future. the feeling of xmas shopping was indeed great best.

now on d dinner. initially we were confused on d venue. the first choice was bangsar village - delicious but i was not too keen as that place kan a bit too koman and just went there last week. The other choices we had was basil, delish, sakae sushi and delicious but semua macam tak best je. Also in our list was alexis and chillis but secretary and former princess were not too keen as they just went there. Then we thot about mid valley or gardens or bangsar shopping complex but couldn’t find anything to our liking. The next choice was jalan telawi – telawi street bistro. But none of it really excited us. As secretary said we wanted an open air concept where you see people passing by ala ala meriah gitu. Suddenly the idea of the curve seemed to be the exact place that we wanted to be at.

So there we were at the curve, we decided to go to tony romas or tgi Friday. But then we realsied that we forgot to do the reservation. So there we were at tony roma and we had to wait for 90 minutes while in tgi Friday it was 60 minutes. I was rather all rite with it as I badly wanted to go to tony roma but former princess was not too keen to wait as she was gungry. She suggested o brien but no way we thot as that place practically tak ada orang. Finally we opted for this place called the empress (gitu lah nama dia pulak kan).

Former princess ordered chicken chop while secretary had some dish with chicken while ratu opted for some dish with beef. As side dish we had roti sambal ikan bilis and roti john. Food wise no complains as memang sedap, the roti sambal ikan bilis was so cute ala mini burger gitu and roti john was ala ala different from usual. Tapi the service wise aiyoo choi choi we had to wait for more than an hour. Former princess even suggested that if the food did not arrive in 5 minutes, we just pay for the drinks and l;eave. I wish they improve on this aspect. I mean senang kan if they fill that they don’t have the manpower to cook, they should just tell the client that they have to wait for an hour or two before food is served. Janganlah pula bagi alasan too many people. Pleaselahhhhh

Apart from food the place was also meriah banyak lah jugak boleh cuci mata. Frankly speaking, I think we all enjoyed the moment and of course exchanging gifts semua...

In conclusion, ratu nak cakap it is all about friendship and I am blessed to have such friends … ratu sayang semua, merry xmas to you all and to santa – please grant my wish...

ulek mayang ...

2008-12-20T17:57:00.000-08:00

Umbok mayang ku umbok
Umbok dengan jala jemala

Ulek mayang ku ulek
Ulek dengan jala jemala
Ulek mayang diulek
Ulek dengan tuannya puteri
Ulek mayang diulek
Ulek dengan jala jemala
Ulek mayang diulek
Ulek dengan puterinya dua

Puteri dua berbaju serong
Puteri dua bersanggol sendeng
Puteri dua bersubang gading
Puteri dua berselendang kuning
Umbok mayang diumbok
Umbok dengan jala jemala
Nok ulek mayang diulek
Ulek dengan puterinya empat

Puteri empat berbaju serong
Puteri empat bersanggol sendeng
Puteri empat bersubang gading
Puteri empat berselendang kuning
Umbok mayang diumbok
Umbok dengan jala jemala
Nok ulek mayang diulek
Ulek dengan puterinya enam

Puteri enam berbaju serong
Puteri enam bersanggol sendeng
Puteri enam bersubang gading
Puteri enam berselendang kuning
Umbok mayang diumbok
Umbok dengan jala jemala
Nok ulek mayang diulek
Ulek dengan puterinya tujuh

Puteri tujuh berbaju serong
Puteri tujuh bersanggol sendeng
Puteri tujuh bersubang gading
Puteri tujuh berselendang kuning
Umbok mayang diumbok
Umbok dengan jala jemala
Nok ulek mayang diulek
Ulek dengan tuannya puteri

annual dinner 2008

2008-12-13T09:50:00.000-08:00

this was the first company annual dinner which i attended. you see, if my knowledge does not fail me, this event started off after i left the company back in 2004. prior to that, i cant remember having such a function - maybe we had informal gatherings but surely were not on such platform as being held now.

have to admit that initially i did not take the thing seriously as did not know what to expect. to me it was just one of those normal affairs perhaps. nothing spectacular.

i was confused as what to wear for the event, the theme was red carpet but could not imagine myself dressed formally in a tux or soemthing like that. so i decided to go in jeans and long shirt thou some had told me that it was not a good idea. then i changed my mind to slacks and one of those shirts (the british india likes). my reasoning was simple - i knew that most of the guys would not bother dressing up for the event so i did not want to end up looking macam "dressed to kill" or over sesangat. malas nak kena kutuk and looking like a sore thumb. and most importantly, i did not feel the event.

acting princess did her best to convince me to change my mind. the idea of wearing a kurta was there but i was not too serious about it. couple of hours before the dinner, i finally decided what to wear - the kurta - thanks to acting princess and ms who kind of persuded me on why i shall wear a kurta. i then told myself what a heck, after all it is not always that you get a chance to "dress to kill" so why not seize the opportunity. pedulikan kata orang ... wah

so once i have decided on the attire, there was no holding back. the next stop was at mimi and ogy. wanted to dye my hair and also needed a haircut. so there was i with acting princess who also decided to seek assistance from mimi. i told ogy what i wanted and that we were going for a party. mimi and ogy were more sexcited than us. ogy told me that she would deliver her best and that her mission was to mAke me look chantek. … diva gitu. She suggested rambut ala ala kembang berinci inci gitu also known as rambut siti zaharah@wanita umno (co-incidentally after being reminded by a friend then I remembered that the particular hairstyle could also be dedicated to vanilla ice@ice ice baby). I straight away jumped at the idea as I have always wanted to look so. So after the hair was done, gee suggested that she put on some gel berkilau kilau gitu … pendek kata diva lah…

after that was over, I went home to dress in a blue kurta (some called it as electrifying blue) siap dengan capal lagi yelah tak best pakai kurta dengan shoes. Lagipun capal ini ala ala high heels so bile berjalan boleh rasa “im in the air@tinggi di awan biru”.

When everything was over, ratu waited for secretary to pick me up, we parked the car at bangsar village and walked over to bangsar seafood. Sesampainya kite orang ada royal announcement gitu by the mc (pidah) memaklumkan ratu da smapai (sumpah gua cakap – she was all over about my electrifying blue kurta). And then the ceo was invited to give a speech, terkedu kejab mak bile dia tetiba puji mak punya dressing (well I cant remember the exact words that eh used tapi wajib lah kan as mak kan ratu) lagipun dia kan senior mak kat sekolah dulu (that is what eh said). So the guys apa lagi, ada yang kaat si ceo nak bawa aku balik malam tu lah lepas tu ada pula kata “don’t forget my promotion when you are under his table” … wah tapi kalau dia nak bawa mak balik rumah dia malam tu then who am I to reject lah kan …

Moving on to the party, it was fun no doubt, ala ala let your hair loose lah kan gitu… mak apa lagi bukan selalu lah kan … it was fun in the sense meeting and having fun with friends, including some whom you are not really familiar with.

Then there was this best dressed award. To be honest, I would be lying if I were to say that I was not expecting to win, deep down my heart, I was sure of at least the third pricing. To you guys yang kenal mak, many have said that I dress rather well for a guy and I am aware of it. Like for instance for my former boss punya birthday party last year, I went in as Egypt king and won the third prize. So this time around, I was hoping for the same. And my confidence was boosted by the numerous remarks from friends including the ceo as I mentioned earlier. The moment arrived when we were on the stage about 10 guys and 10 girls. Entahlah but to me some of them could b questioned on why they were on stage… so we had to stand on stage and do ala ala catwalk. Then came the waited moment - the results – I won a consolation prize. Hmm I was not upset just abit disappointed, I mean if the others were really outstanding, then I would have accepted the results but … the third winner was clearly plain, the second winner did not fit the red carpet theme while the first winner was nothing extraordinary. Even my boss sn was upset and told me that I should have came in top for all my efforts ….but u see the judge here was izzat (the popular hairstylist/make up artist) who is a well known adik adik so surely his main criteria for selection would be looks and kejantanan so hairan ke mak that I lost. Yelah all the top three were real guys. I am not being asour grape here but was just pouring out my heart contents. And the best part was after the results were announced, izzat got someone to call the third and second winner to see him so that he could give them his name cards … im not saying anything more tapi memanglah terkilan as the third and second winner received cosmetic stuff which as quite a sum … tak pelah tak de rezeki…

A surprising moment was when the results for best online report and best team effort was announced – for the permatang pauh coverage. It took me some time to realize that I was part of the team. Thou there was no names mentioned and many would not be aware who the members concist, but I know that I was in the team and it was OUR victory…

Then the prizes – not bad lah noks, I won the third prize – all paid trip to bali for two. Masalahnya tak tau nak gi dengan siapa. And then ank cerita pasal ni ada satu game where you have to cabut akertas dengan nama a personality and u have to look for who matches that. Macam in my case was enrique iglesias so I had to search for anna kournikova … thank god mak jumpa – so marica.

Conclusion – it was a fun time and I look forward to next year’s event under a new leadership………..

oppari ... the dying culture

2008-12-11T19:08:00.000-08:00

Note: picture above shows pattu, sellama, annam and anjalai – among veteran practitioners of oppari …

Recently, was out for breakfast with a few friends when one of them related about an assignment she covered – an Indian funeral. She went on to say how she was rather surprised cause people were so calm sedangkan she had in her mind that there would be many emotional moments.

To this, a friend simply remarked: “I have an auntie who simply loves funeral”.

He then went on to relate how the auntie gets excited every time she has to attend a funeral. How she would go and cry out her heart content although she might not be really close to him. He said while crying, the auntie also loves to beat her chest and weep uncontrollably.

This reminds me of the “oopari” in the south Indian culture. Oopari defines the practice in rural villages especially in tamilnadu. It is a Tamil genre of weeping songs performed by grieving women who wail openly moaning while beating their breasts. And they go out singing normally tales about the deceased and how the death is a great loss.

From the survey which I have done (wah impressive), normally oppari is performed by old women, all wrinkled and shrunken, with blackened tongues and teeth stained with betel leave juices.

There is even a group of professional oppari singers who go from funeral to funeral. They have an excellent repertoire of oppari songs in their mind. And oppari is not complete without the act of beating the breasts...

journalists and blogs

2008-12-07T06:23:00.000-08:00

For sometime, I wanted to post my views on a note wrote by a friend ch (a malaysian reporter working for a singapore paper - im sure most of you guys know her) entitled “Malaysian journalists who blog?”.

But I never had the chance to do so until I practically forced myself to. In her note, ch wrote about why journalists mostly do not have their own blogs. This also applies to professional bloggers who do not have a personal blog.

I know that most of my friends have blogs including myself. There are some (I salute) who post pictures of them. I respect these friends but I would never have the courage to do so. Call me a coward or hypocrite but that is the truth. I cant bear some people reading certain things which I write although it does not touch on their personalities. Also I have yet to step out of the closet for the society to know the real me.

I have never touched about politics or try to avoid doing so in my blog because I fear there might be a conflict of interest here. Instance when I was in permatang pauh recently, I avoided touching on what exactly happened – the day to day event as I do not wanna mix between journalism and blogs.

To me blogs is just a form of escapism (if u wanna use that word) or just for one to sharpen their creative skills (that sounds more politically correct). Admit that there are some who do blogging professionally but that is on a separate issue.

Sometime ago, maybe some of u remember, a member of ratu associates came across a blog (if im not mistaken called tukang taip) who went out to detail his gay life – he was once married but now decided to go back to his true self. Nothing wrong with that cuma he decided to post pictures of him and his children as well as he and his boyfriend (although not in compromising poses but just ordinary ones). I just have mixed feelings on that although it was his damn right – what are u trying to do? what if the kids stumble on the blog and find out their father is a gay, no matter how much of love he has showered them.

having said that, I believe journalists who have blogs prefer to write about behind the scene events like what I do – things which we cannot write in the real world. Like recently I wrote about my love and admiration for my idol – “the ageing lioness”.

you can call me uncle ...

2008-12-04T18:12:00.000-08:00

IT has been a week since ratu last wrote an entry. Ratu would like to take this opportunity to express my thanks and gratitude to all quarters for the concern over my last entry. Tak sangka begitu ramai yang menyayangi ratu. Terima kasih to you alls for the undivided love and attention...

bukan apa ji (wah ji gitu), biasalah life ni kan ada ups and downs.

Couple of days ago, I was on d facebook with my former schoolmate when I received a friend request. This request was suggested to me by my friend tadi, so I pun accepted it. A few minutes later, this new friend messaged me asking how I am. So I asked him who he was and whether he was related to my friend tadi as their name macam ada similarity. So I expected an answer like yes we are brothers.

The answer came and I was damn shocked. My new friend said that he was the son of my former classmate. Gulp. It surely took me several minutes to compose myself. But that is not what I wanted to tell you guys.

The icing of the cake is, a few minutes later, my new friend send em a message asking me to accept his star wars games request. Some of you might be thinking so what – apa yang kecoh sangat. Well, this is what my new friend messaged me (lebih kurang lah):

“uncle, boleh tak uncle tolong accept my games request….

Gulp again. Uncle … uncle … uncle

Again I had to calm down first before I messaged my new friend that he need not address me as uncle and instead can call me brother and I also tak kisah if he wants to address me as syah. Then suddenly I just felt like asking my new friend how old he was so I did – and the answer –

“I am 12 going on 13 next year” ….

Need I say more, so finally I send my new friend another message and this time io told him …

“well, you can just call me uncle …”

Moving on, as most of u are aware after reading my status on fb semalam on hilang kunci rumah. I think I wont have to go into details in order to avoid a repeat.

Cuma I, the ratu, would like to from the bottom of my heart record my gratitude to the former princess@srikandi for what she did semalam. Nyah friendship would never die. She was there throughout my ordeal. The best part was we both were sitting at tangga dekat lobby rumah mak … klasik gitu ratu dok kat tangga sambil bercerita while waiting for the locksmith to arrive … nasib baik there was no papparazi otherwise can you imagine the page one pictures today ……. Nyah mak sayang kamu..

… Locked out of the house, reminds me to someone N who was once in my heart, if u guys remember many years ago, I pernah went thru the same incident of locking myself out of the house and he was there to break in and help me… I even wrote about it …but many years have passed since then and I wonder where you are now … sayang (can I still call you so)….

bukan pintaku sebegini ...

2008-11-22T06:19:00.000-08:00

I happened to be browsing thru the facebook when I saw some pictures of a mak nyah beauty pageant held in conjunction with the world aids day celebration in my hometown.

Entahlah nyah. Honestly speaking mak tersentap kejap coz didn’t expect the mak nyah scene back in my hometown to be so happening. But again who am I to comment as I left my hometown almost a decade ago. And I have no clue of how things are back there … what I know was when I was growing up, mak nyah was such a degrading thing … but that was in the 80s and 90s era and now we are in 2008. and again I have always been a closet back home …

But looking at the pictures made me wonder what is life all about. Maybe I am getting into that melancholic feeling. But nyah, entahlah… who wants to be a nyah especially at an old age. When wajah dah berkedut. Even now I feel if only I can turn back the clock .. I have to be honest and admit getting old scares me a lot… cant imagine life in the next 10 years and what more the next 20 years. How would life be treating me. Who would be sitting next to me. Listening to my sad stories…

Back then what I would have with me are just the memories… and me alone. Entahlah. As I said we have all made mistakes at a point of time or another. I always ask myself why am I in this situation. Why am I not like one of those people out there – with a partner and a family of their own and most importantly why am I not straight … why am I trapped in this dunia adik adik. But again I am not blaming anyone as I only have myself to blame…

Entahlah nyah… but again I also know that being married or having someone in your life is not everything. As they say the grass is always greener on the other side

respons terhadap cadangan penubuhan surat khabar rasmi RA

2008-11-12T05:54:00.000-08:00

SEJAJAR dengan kehendak ramai, RATU bersetuju agar satu kajian mendalam dijalankan untuk melihat sikap dan respons terhadap cadangan untuk menubuhkan surat khabar rasmi bagi RATU ASSOCIATES.

Dengan ini RATU mengamanahkan legal advisor merangkap pegawai khas ratu dan deputy princess to look into the necessary aspects dari semua bidang - termasuk soal lembaga pengarah, sidang redaksi especially siapa jadi boss, kandungan artikel, staff, visi, misi dan sebagainya.

RATU berharap kedua dua pegawai berkenaan akan come back to RATU tentang proposal mendalam untuk dibincangkan dalam mesyuarat majlis tertinggi RATU ASSOCIATES.

JUGA ratu ingin mencadangakan seperti berikut:
GEIC - RATU
DEPUTY GEIC - ACTING PRINCESS

GE - DEPUTY
DEPUTY GE - FORMER PRINCESS

EXECUTIVE EDITOR - LEGAL ADVISOR/PEGAWAI KHAS RATU
CHEF NEWS EDITOR 1 - SECRETARY
CHIEF NEWS EDITOR 2 - DEPUTY PRINCESS

WALAUBAGAIMANAPUN ini sekadar cadangan. Keputusan muktamad akan dibuat oleh majlis tertinggi ratu associates berpandukan kertas kerja legal advisor dan deputy princess. Harap maklum anda kena submit kertas kerja by 21 Nov 2008.

anugerah skrin 2008 ... what do i say

2008-11-07T22:32:00.000-08:00

LOCAL award shows. Enuff has been said over the years and what more can I add on – be it for musical or acting events. You name it Juara Lagu, Anugerah Skrin, Anugerah Sri Angkasa, Festival Filem Malaysia and the list goes on…

The same nonsense again and again. Draggy show, unwanted performances, overexcited hosts, uninspiring script, irritating … just malas nak cakap. I just don’t understand. Don’t the organizers read the comments in the paper and don’t they ever learn from past mistakes.

That aside, must say that this year’s Anugerah Skrin 2008 was the WORST ever. Bloody stupid. Fucking bodoh – all the credit for these goes to the hosts Adlin Aman Ramli and Nurul Suhada Mohd Ain and scriptwriter saniboey. I have never thought that Adlin would stoop to such low level. And if only I was the high authority in tv3, I would immediately do two things – ban the two hosts and demote the script writer and the producer plus the director.

As I said tak larat noks nak go into details to explain the flaws of the whole show. Penat akak ........

Just to recap, in the film category, kala malam bulan mengambang was adjudged the best movie, mamat khalid of the same movie (best director), rosyam nor in the same movie (best actor), baizura kahar in sepi (best actress), zafirul in 1957 hati malaya (best supporting actor) and nasha aziz in sepi (best supporting actress).

In the drama category, the best effort was suara saleha which won murali abdullah the best director and fauziah ahmad daud the best actress award. The best actor was zamarulhisham in ihsan, normah damanhuri in tuhan pun tahu as best supporting actress and que haidar from the same drama as best supporting actor.

Conclusion - anugerah skrin 2008 was indeed THRASH

ratu meraikan birthday diva

2008-11-06T16:42:00.000-08:00

Note: this story is a continuation of the entry below.

Just where do I start? It was Thursday at about 11.45am and I thought it was perfect timing to leave the office, heading towards the new world hotel opposite renaissance hotel in ampang for my lunch date which was at 12.30pm.

To recap a few days earlier, I received an sms from kak pidah’s secretary confirming the date and venue for our lunch. A day later she then smsd me saying that kak pidah’s birthday was just a day earlier so maybe we could have a small celebration with birthday cake. Of course, I was thrilled by the idea.

I then asked acting princess and former princess if I should get kak pidah a birthday gift. Acting princess suggested a box of ferro rocher chocolates while former princess suggested a shawl from khazanah. But after thinking hard, I decided to discard the idea.

So there I was at the new world hotel and it was 12.19pm. I told myself oklah 10 minutes earlier as I wouldn’t want kak pidah to wait for me. So I called kak pidah’s secretary to ask where they were. Then she told me the news – rupanya ratu silap hotel. It was supposed to be new world in damansara and not one world. Aiyoo, I got it wrong. All my fault. I should have perhaps called her first before I left my office and that would have helped. So quickly I got into another cab and we shoot off to the venue. It was 12.52 when I arrived and I was so so so glad to hear kak pidah was yet to arrive. Phew. Could not imagine if kak pidah was there earlier than me. In fact I had prepared a line of excuses to give kak pidah on why I was late.

So we proceeded to the Japanese restaurant and ordered lunch while waiting for kak diva. Then she arrived wearing a stripped black and white blouse and a black pants. She was so so kurus – that was the first time I saw her in such an attire as she has always been dressed in baju kurung.

As she walked in she apologized for her delay and asked how I was doing. I was melted as it was my diva. I then wished her happy birthday. By the way there were four of us – kak pidah, her secretary, me and my colleague. So we went on to talk while eating and as I said we had Japanese food tempura, sashimi, sushi, tepanyaki dan segala..

It was a very open conversation and from the start kak pidah made it clear that it was supposed to be private and confidential … off the cuff gitu. Suffice to say, kak pidah took me on a memoryland … it was a very memorable discussion, we laughed, we listened to her, at times there were things which really tugged at my heart. Kak pidah was being the diva she was. I could sense that she was being very sincere and honest. I saw the other side of her which many people do not know. Kak pidah the ibu, kak pidah the grandma and kak pidah as a wanita melayu…there were certain things she said truly lived up to her reputation as mulut laser – I just speak what I feel attitude.

Unfortunately, I am sorry that I could not write much about what we spoke coz as I said earlier it was supposed to be private and confidential. But it was fun, I mean kak fidah talking about things which were close to her heart. Things which she would only tell people whom she trusted and that indeed mattered a lot to me. Things which were meant to be secret. And to have kak pidah telling us means she valued our me. My admiration and respect for us grew stronger.

After lunch was over, we had the cake and before that we took pictures with my diva. After almost three hours plus we decided to leave.

So while she was about to leave, again we salam and told each other to take care. She also smiled at me, pointed at my stomach and said … “yang ni kena kurus.”

I left the one world hotel, feeling high, it was indeed a proud moment to cherish. Enuff said as words can never describe the feelings in my heart. Kak pidah you are my diva… lagenda wanita melayu .............

hanya jauhari yang mengenal manikam

2008-10-30T12:20:00.000-07:00

note: to understand this entry better, please refer to my earlier posting on october 14 titled kak pidah ... the one and only

i realise the possibility of me being labelled as perasan or syok sendiri for writing this but once in a while there is no harm in praising yourself lah kan. angkat bakul sendiri. as you all who have been reading this blog are aware, i just idolise kak pidah and i am still over the moon regarding a conversation i had with kak pidah recently.

today i sent kak pidah a sms about some work related issues. kak pidah answered and gave her opinion so i sent her another sms thanking her. then came another sms from kak pidah inviting me out for lunch and that we must meet up for a chat.

oh my god. i was thrilled. it was the diva kak pidah inviting me for lunch. thus, being the emotional drama queen i am, i sent a lengthy sms to kak pidah telling her that it was a honour, that i have always admired her since young my school days, that i felt it was a dream come true when i first covered her about a decade ago, it was an honour to have lunch with her and that i wanna take pictures with her. kak pidah replied "alamak ada secret admirer" and within minutes i got a call from her secretary to set the date.

you see i am just happy. glad and proud. who am i compared to akak pidah. some might say that she has passed her time but to me kak pidah is a legend, a mutiara that will shine forever, if only she was a guy i bet she would have been our prime minister but unfortunately malaysia has yet to be ready to accept a woman as a prime minister.

and second, to make my day better, someone who i really like (i shall not name the person in order to avoid controversies) told me that i write well and that my writing has improved tremendously over the past few weeks. the person said my arguments were very articulative and the person enjoyed reading my comments. i am overwhelmed. syukur kat allah swt. enuff said. tak nak lebih lebih.

before i conclude, back to kak pidah and her interest to go out with me, ingat tak pepatah orang melayu "hanya jauhari yang mengenal manikam."

deepa raya and friends

2008-10-29T23:04:00.000-07:00

It all started casually. About two or three weeks ago, ratu was having dinner with some friends from the Ed when either ratu of the 80s/90s or her anak buah NJ threw the idea of having a deepa raya get together. Ratu like the idea and suggested that we have the dinner at poolside apartment ratu to which the others agreed.

So ratu decided to take the day off today. Initially we thought of doing pot luck but then NJ told me that they have decided to chip in rm20 each and buy some stuff. Queen mother volunteered to make some macaroni/pasta and ratu decided to get some kway teow goring and ayam goring madu from mahboob plus home made crystal orange jelly. Initially ratu thot of getting putu mayam plus ayam masak merah and mutton varuval from nirvana maju. It did not occur to me that it was deepavali. Nirvana maju was closed and akak jual putu mayam masih cuti that was why I got the other stuff.

And on that note, ratu was shocked when NJ told me that ratu of the 80s/90s had invited her friend FD and he refused to come because he ahd to pay rm20. it seems he asked whether it was worth paying that money. I am speechless ada juga manusia macam tu. I mean it is not so much about the money. It is friends. If FD did not felt like coming he could have been more polite and gave other excuses instead of being blunt and asking if it was worth paying that amount.

There was supposed to be 15 of us but as usual some couldn’t make it at the last minute. So we had 11 people – ratu, queen mother, ratu of the 80s/90s era, secretary to ratu associates, event organizer of ratu associates, NJ and her hubby A, SN, srikandi and S (anak buah ratu of the 80s/90s era). Srikandi bought an old friend SUA – it was intended to be a surprise as katanya kebetulan SUA was in town.

We were supposed to gather at 530pm but biasalah it was almost 6 plus when we finally met up. Event organizer was the first to arrive followed by queen mother and secretary. Ratu made it a condition earlier that all must be clad in pakaian traditional. U see ratu had this blue/turquoise kurta which ratu bought last year but tak pakai lagi. I was waiting for the right occasion to wear it and I thot this was the occasion. The thing is that kurta was a bit grand so you cannot pakai it sebarangan like to work ke apa and there has not been many invitations for Indian functions. But then suddenly I thot of not wearing it coz takut how if ratu overshadow semua orang. However due to persuasion of some friends I decided to go ahead and wear it. By the way I did invite lelaki and acting princess to come but they both could not make it as ada hal masing masing.

So finally we all gathered and started eating and of coz as expected miss punctuality aka srikandi was the last to arrive after everyone else bertungkus lumus kemas meja, susun makanan etc. hmmm need I say more. We had macaroni masakan queen mother yang sedap dgn minced chicken, kway teow, ayam goring madu, crystal orange jelly, murukku, cornflake cookies, titbits, murtabak kambing, murtabak daging, pisang goring, cucur udang, air soya bean, air the bunga, air alici, coke, ice cream soda and 100 plus. The speciality for the day was cup cakes which NJ had ordered from someone’s wife.

It all started casually. About two or three weeks ago, ratu was having dinner with some friends from the Ed when either ratu of the 80s/90s or her anak buah NJ threw the idea of having a deepa raya get together. Ratu like the idea and suggested that we have the dinner at poolside apartment ratu to which the others agreed.

So ratu decided to take the day off today. Initially we thought of doing pot luck but then NJ told me that they have decided to chip in rm20 each and buy some stuff. Queen mother volunteered to make some macaroni/pasta and ratu decided to get some kway teow goring and ayam goring madu from mahboob plus home made crystal orange jelly. Initially ratu thot of getting putu mayam plus ayam masak merah and mutton varuval from nirvana maju. It did not occur to me that it was deepavali. Nirvana maju was closed and akak jual putu mayam masih cuti that was why I got the other stuff.

And on that note, ratu was shocked when NJ told me that ratu of the 80s/90s had invited her friend FD and he refused to come because he ahd to pay rm20. it seems he asked whether it was worth paying that money. I am speechless ada juga manusia macam tu. I mean it is not so much about the money. It is friends. If FD did not felt like coming he could have been more polite and gave other excuses instead of being blunt and asking if it was worth paying that amount.

There was supposed to be 15 of us but as usual some couldn’t make it at the last minute. So we had 11 people – ratu, queen mother, ratu of the 80s/90s era, secretary to ratu associates, event organizer of ratu associates, NJ and her hubby A, SN, srikandi and S (anak buah ratu of the 80s/90s era). Srikandi bought an old friend SUA – it was intended to be a surprise as katanya kebetulan SUA was in town.

We were supposed to gather at 530pm but biasalah it was almost 6 plus when we finally met up. Event organizer was the first to arrive followed by queen mother and secretary. Ratu made it a condition earlier that all must be clad in pakaian traditional. U see ratu had this blue/turquoise kurta which ratu bought last year but tak pakai lagi. I was waiting for the right occasion to wear it and I thot this was the occasion. The thing is that kurta was a bit grand so you cannot pakai it sebarangan like to work ke apa and there has not been many invitations for Indian functions. But then suddenly I thot of not wearing it coz takut how if ratu overshadow semua orang. However due to persuasion of some friends I decided to go ahead and wear it. By the way I did invite lelaki and acting princess to come but they both could not make it as ada hal masing masing.

So finally we all gathered and started eating and of coz as expected miss punctuality aka srikandi was the last to arrive after everyone else bertungkus lumus kemas meja, susun makanan etc. hmmm need I say more. We had macaroni masakan queen mother yang sedap dgn minced chicken, kway teow, ayam goring madu, crystal orange jelly, murukku, cornflake cookies, titbits, murtabak kambing, murtabak daging, pisang goring, cucur udang, air soya bean, air the bunga, air alici, coke, ice cream soda and 100 plus. The highlight was cup cakes which NJ had ordered from someone’s wife.

While we were enjoying dinner the unexpected happened, two balaks came to the pool. The tall one took off his shirt and jumped into the pool while his friend, the darker one, sat and watched. It was indeed a sight so we all feasted our eyes on them. Ratu then told my predecessor that maybe we should invite them to join us for dinner and she agreed. So after swimming, the mamat got up and were about to leave the pool, they passed by us and my predecessor quickly reminded me to invite them so ratu offered them to join us. The tall guy gave us a warm smile and was a bit hesistant but after we persuaded him, they joined us. So ratu pun tunjuk the food to them and explained what it was. As it turned out the mamat was carlos from Venezuela and his friend ahmad was from yaman. Ahmad could not converse in English fluently but carlos was such a nice person. Tapi korang jangan salah faham bukan mak seorang je yang gedik tapi at times queen mother and ratu of the 80s/90s simply outshone the ratu and the ratu terdiam kaku seketika. U have to admit queen mother and ratu of the 80s/90s ear are experienced people and intelligent too … banyak makan asam garam hidup so in front of them ratu became a junior and let the two kakaks steal the limelight. Carlos ni kerja it related tapi sob sob dia dah ada awek and she is pregnant but they are not married. He is going back in January for five months and would come back with his wife and son. As it turned out, carlos also gives salsa classes every Tuesday and Thursday so you can guess who would register for the next class with carlos.

And finally as conclusion, ratu really had fun after all it was a gathering of fun, we had the usual session and meeting queen mother was great. Nowadays due to work commitment I do not get to see her that often so once in awhile dapat jumpa dia memanglah best kan. At the end of the gathering, srikandi threw an idea why not we all go to ipoh rumah ratu of the 80s/90s ear for new year eve. Ratu was very interested and I really hope that the idea works. After all life is short and it is friends who bring the smile in us..........

ratu associates ... a bunch of losers?

2008-10-21T21:19:00.000-07:00

WHAT is actually Ratu Associates? Please choose one of the following definitions which you think best suits your understanding and opinion about Ratu Associates.

The choices that you have are as follows:
1. A bunch of losers who are failures in love- jilted by men. not wanted. desperate. leading a lonely and depressive life. single and not needed.

2. primadonnas who think that the world could not exist without their presence. living in their own fantasy world. think that they are god's greatest gift to mankind. people who feel that the entire world centres around them alone and nothing else.

3. a bunch of people who like to bitch and have nothing better to do with their lives. weirdos.

i don't know guys but i have been sad over the past two days. feeling depressed that losers are people who do not have lovers. do not have families on their own. you may conclude that i am being a drama queen or emotional or melancholic. but honestly speaking, i was hurt on hearing these statements although not in the exact words and sentence.

i admit that some of us in ratu associates including myself are a bit perasan about ratu associates. we get over excited and carried away by the whole ratu associates. who doesnt. starting from me, deputy, acting princess, former princess, secretary, legal advisor and deputy princess. at times we tend to take ratu associates a bit too seriously. and that might lead us to making statements without realising that yes the world does not centre around us and ratu associates alone.

however, does that make us losers. yes some of us are fucking gays. we are pondan. so what. we chose to be so. but all of us are single with the exception of acting princess. what can we do when the men in the world do not want us. feel that we do not deserve to be loved and to have someone to care for us. do we hang ourselves. or do we sit in a corner distancing ourselves from the society and cry over our fate.
we are the unfortunate ones who have not entered the wedding circle or maybe in my case have been there before once. but is being married alone the complete circle to one's life?

aku tak marah nyah, cuma aku sedih. and it seems that "you do not realise how your friends are talking about you. about this whole ratu associates thing. people are making fun of you."

pada aku nyah, ratu associates is about friendship. about bonding. about overcoming the emptiness in our life. to make us happy. to make us feel loved. to make us feel that we are wanted in life. to tell us that we have valuable friends and that is what matters the most. nothing else. call me perasan but what about the others in ratu associates. because obviously you can relate to ratu associates. ratu associates is not about me alone but all of us.

when i was going thru shit in life couple of months ago, when i thot my world has came to an end, it was ratu associates that came to my support. when former princess had her moments it was ratu associates who listened to her. when secretary was alone it was ratu associates that embraced her. when deputy was in his own world it was ratu associates that cheered him up. when legal advisor wanted someone to talk to it was ratu associates which provided her comfort. when mak orang was down it was ratu associates that provided her the laughters.

aku tak berdendam dengan sesiapa lah noks. friends would always remain friends. friendship is too valuable to lose it. cuma i am a bit hurt. but dont worry this feeling would go away in the next few days. aku tak adalah sampai nak putuskan perhubungan dengan sesiapa atau berdendam atau bermasam muka. i admit that i might have done mistakes that cause orang to bengang dengan aku and ratu associates as a whole. i have at times behaved like a real ratu but that was because you guys are my friends and who else would accept all the nonsense if not friends. but i never realised perangai diva aku menyebabkan ada orang menyampah and meluat kat aku.

and maybe our kegedikkan (admit it that we are gedik) had created kebencian towards us. but whatever said and done, i cannot live without ratu associates. i need my friends. and i believe that you guys pun sama. tell me honestly would anyone of u feel that your life would be more meaningful without ratu associates. i am not going to change my attitude. once adiva tetap diva selamanya ... ratu associates tetap makmur ... cemerlang gemilang terbilang ....

kehangatan lantana

2008-10-18T07:38:00.000-07:00

My expectations were indeed high for this drama – mainly after being influenced by ratu associates secretary who has seen it couple of months earlier when it was first screened over tv3.

This is the second time it is being re-aired and is nominated for anugerah skrin. So I made it a point to watch it from the start but all I got was sheer disappointment. Maybe if I had no expectation from the start, I would have enjoyed the drama better.

But put it this way, I have seen numerous better efforts as compared to kehangatan lantana, directed by feroz khan whose previous efforts I was told were rendang untuk mertua and dna jasmine. I have not seen rendang untuk mertua but it is again secretary who is heaping praises on it while I remember watching dna jasmine and not bad lah walaupun tak adalah outshine.

In summary, kehangatan lantana is about the bloody arrogant former beauty queen fasha sandha who is madly loved by her husband adiputra. Fasha ni memang puki betul like when the pakcik from a nearby surau comes to her house asking for sedeqah, she gives him a long lecture before throwing rm1 at him and demanding a receipt as she needs it for her income tax purpose. So one day, fasha suffers from a mysterious illness and doctor has no cue what it is.

Finally, fasha confides in her husband and begs forgiveness as she has been sinful to him. Among others she resorted to black magic including nasi kangkang to ensure that her husband loves her madly and ikut teleunjuk fasha. That aside she has been a bitch having sex with other men behind her husband’s knowledge.

Adiputra refuses to forgive fasha but finally agrees to do so after being convinced by his mum and religious uncle. And as usual in times of difficulty, adiputra resorts to going back to agama – as we have seen in other countless efforts.

As for acting, there are only two main actors and two supporting. There is nothing much to say about the two supporting cast – the mother and uncle.

Fasha sandha – I donno lah as did not leave an impression in me as I felt she was simply acting it out. Jelas kurang penghayatan. Tak nampak realistic, and there was no lasting impression. You just did not feel the pain that she was going through and did not feel sad for her plight. Tak power piece of acting nampak sangat tengah berlakon.

Adiputra – again watak tak berkembang. Facial expression tak banyak. Kaku at most of times and kurang penghayatan. Also tak realistic portrayal.

i really feel that someone else should have done this roles and they would have done a far better job.

in conclusin, it was sad taht the effort was not really remarkable, sad that in the end the drama just finished without you feeling emotional or melancholic ... sayang

hati sepi seorang perempuan

2008-10-15T19:55:00.000-07:00

Tiada kutangis lagi
Suatu kehilangan
Tak ingin merayu-rayu
Dalam kepiluan
Ternyata hatiku ini
Masih mengharapkan
Namun kubiarkan kasih
Tanpa perhatian

Sepi mengajarku mengenal cintamu
Di mana berakhir segala janji
Kini ku sendiri

Keresahan yang menyiksakan
Ku menanti mu dalam rindu
Ucapanmu bagai terdengar
Namun hanya kepalsuan
Meracun kalbu

Tiada kupinta lagi
Engkau kan kembali
Andainya di hatimu
Tiada cinta suci

kak pidah ... the one and only

2008-10-14T07:36:00.000-07:00

Mak tak kisah if any one of you out there conclude mak as being gedik, syok sendiri or perasan - mak tak peduli noks. the fact is that i am excited... i am thrilled ... i am on cloud nine and i want to share my joy dengan korang tak kisah whether korang nak dengar cerita mak ke idak. suka hati korang lah noks.

petang tadi, ratu went to a hari raya open house and while i was about to leave, ratu bumped into my idol - kak pidah who was busy bersalam dengan orang orang. mak pun tergerak hati nak gi sapa kak pidah pasal dah lama tak borak dengan dia and wanted to wish her selamat hari raya. most importantly dah lama tak cucuk kak pidah and sesekali kak pidah melaser sure sedap punya kan...

so i went up to kak pidah and greeted her selamat hari raya. kak pidah pun turned around looked at me and said "selamat hari raya, temankan lah i pergi pintu depan". i was stunned for a minute and replied "cantik baju you" (sambil pegang lengang baju kak pidah and i added "wah dah pakai colour pink sekarang".

kak pidah replied "jahan, apa ni tulis pasal i dalam paper. macam macam u cerita pasal i jahan. tak baik you ni. jangan terpengaruh jahan" ..... and a lot more of other things. (i do not wish to go into details as some of what we spoke about are too detailed and i promised kak pidah that it would be off the record.)

cuma, adik adik sekalian, ratu am now on cloud nine. i mean i love kak pidah. she is my diva (in fact i wrote about her in a recent entry). i idolise her. kak pidah is an institution. there can never be another kak pidah like how there can never be another ayahanda tun m.

for kak pidah to remember me by name is indeed an honour (ratu amat terharu) noks. i mean siapalah mak. i tau that kak pidah knows me as recently pun when she made a statement, she turned around and looked at me and said "mana mana yang dah lama tu macam you (while pointing to me) surely know me better."

tapi for kak pidah to mention may name sambil berjalan and pegang my tangan is indeed a different thing. kak pidah would always be like a mother to me. even though after march, it would be seldom that i get to meet kak pidah and that she might not be around the scene, but i believe her legacy would live forever. there is no replacement to her. as the malay saying goes harimau mati meninggalkan belang manusia mati meninggalkan nama and that fits kak pidah

to kak pidah, i love you bonda ... you would always be in my heart forever

dancing queen

2008-10-13T06:19:00.000-07:00

You can dance, you can jive, having the time of your life
See that girl, watch that scene, digging the Dancing Queen

Friday night and the lights are low
Looking out for the place to go
Where they play the right music, getting in the swing
You come in to look for a king
Anybody could be that guy
Night is young and the music's high
With a bit of rock music, everything is fine
You're in the mood for a dance
And when you get the chance...

You are the Dancing Queen, young and sweet, only seventeen
Dancing Queen, feel the beat from the tambourine
You can dance, you can jive, having the time of your life
See that girl, watch that scene, digging the Dancing Queen

You're a teaser, you turn 'em on
Leave them burning and then you're gone
Looking out for another, anyone will do
You're in the mood for a dance
And when you get the chance...

You are the Dancing Queen, young and sweet, only seventeen
Dancing Queen, feel the beat from the tambourine
You can dance, you can jive, having the time of your life
See that girl, watch that scene, digging the Dancing Queen

men and their idealogies

2008-10-12T08:21:00.000-07:00

It is almost 2am and I am sleepy but before I doze off I just have to write about this incident. Couple of hours ago, I met up with an old friend of mine who I last saw 19 years ago. Let us call him DH. The thing is I and DH were good friends during our primary school days but we drifted apart when we entered secondary school. In fact I have no memories no matter how vague they are about DH during our secondary school days. The only thing I remember was about other friends gossiping-bitching about DH and this girl who was in form six (two years our senior) being seen kissing each other in a shopping complex. It was a well known fact that the two were going out. So kire hebatlah DH then pandangan mata kawan kawan dia yelah we are talking about the 90’s kan…

A few months ago, we traced each other thru FB and became friends again although not that close. Yesterday, DH called up and told me that he was in KL attending a seminar and asked if I was free to meet up. So that was what led to me meeting him up last night and there we were having teh tarik in Bukit Bintang.

DH started by asking me why was it my status in FB was listed as single when a few weeks ago it was “in a relationship”. Before I could answer, DH made this million dollar statement – “you are straight kan?”.

I put on a very stern face and said “what was that supposed to mean”. Realizing my reaction, DH was quick to add “no lah in case you are bi or what. You know lah in today’s world. To this I replied quickly “of coz not, you are crazy.” The topic stopped there. The thing is many of my former school mates are not aware of my sexual identity and they think I am straight so why bother spoiling it.

Anyway that was not what I wanted to tell you guys. Instead the story is about what DH said later. He went on to tell me that he has two kids and has been divorced for the past few years. DH also said that he had decided to get married again next year. I then asked who was the girl and where she is from. DH replied that he is still searching and has yet to find the right one.

DH then went on to say “there are certain rules and regulations that the girl has to fulfill and I am very open about it. Dulu when we were young lain lah, we would say yes immediately without thinking twice but now we are more matured. The thing is I want to be open and am not ahypocrite. When I tell the girls, what my rules and regulations are, they back off.”

I then asked DH what the so called rules and regulations were. To this DH replied:
1. she must be willing to accept the fact that one day if I ever want to practice polygamy, she must agree and not oppose it. At this point, I have no intention to practice polygamy but if at all I do then she must not object to it.

2. she must not be upset if I go out with other girls

3. when I go out with my friends and come across sexy girls, I would take pictures and message her. She must take them in good spirit and not make a fuss when I go home. When I send her the pictures, she must understand that I am in the mood for sex when I return home and must be prepared for it once I have reached the house.

4. most importantly, I told her that I have high sexual desire and have not had sex for three years since my divorce, but due to age factor I dah malas nak work extra. What I want from my wife is that I would lie on bed and she would have to do all the work. I just want to relax. Don’t expect me to also play my part and please her. My satisfaction is most important.

I just don’t want to go further guys … I am really sleepy and tak larat. But aiyoo what do you guys have to say about this guy I mean DH… ada juga manusia macam ni and the best part is DH bukan orang kampung or very the melayu. Infact he is quite modern and open minded and comes from those English speaking background (which is common in my hometown Sarawak), he smokes cigar and drinks and yet his desires and mentality leaves much to desire …

ayat ayat cinta .... erti sebenar kelakian

2008-10-10T03:13:00.000-07:00

Pemilihan umno peringkat bahgaian has entered its third day. and as i am writing this, the drama has yet to unfold. there has not been any surprises thus far. but maybe again it is still a bit too early as you have another 27 days to go. whatever it is, i hope there would be some kejutan otherwise there wont be much of an excitement. i dont wish to go into detail on this, at least as for now.

last nite, i was talking to secretary and she mentioned that she wanted to go back early as she wanted to watch indonesian movie ayat ayat cinta which was to be shown over astro ria. i told former princess about it and she suggested taht we all watch it at where else but rumahmu rumahku jua. in fact we had invited abang n to join us but he was not too well.

so the three of of us ended up watching the movie. i must admit that it was good although i have to admit that it could have been better. there were some loose ends to tie up. the dialogues were good but needed penghayatan from the viewers. but i guess if u were to watch it alone at the cinema, maybe boleh nangis kot noks.but watching it at home dalam susana hiruk piruk, ratu did not really feel the impact cutting through my heart. the impressions were not lasting. i felt for a start, the hero could have been played by someone who was better looking.

i have to say this noks that i was turned off by the actor and this has nothing to do with the fact that he was not yummy enough. instead as i told sua from jb this morning, i felt the character and i dont mean the actor was weak. i mean nyah he was portrayed as alim ulama and berteraskan kehidupan islam but having said that he lacked leadership skills. setahu mak, dalam islam, lelaki adalah pemimpin sebuah rumahtangga but in this case he just did not display that quality in him. lelaki jenis apa nyah. kalau setakat pandai agama tapi tak reti nak jadi a man what is the use. i guess kewibawaan seseorang benar benar teruji when you are facing a problem. but in such instances, the guy's sifat sifat seorang muslimin tidak dipaparkan dengan jelas. he ended up being too weak and like a small boy. i dont know lah noks but i just dont have respect for guys like this ...being a real man is showing your courage and leadership skills when you are in a dilema and not let someone make decision for you and you put on a very naive and innoncent face ...

demi kehendak grassroots

2008-10-03T07:56:00.000-07:00

“I am offering myself because I want to help to re-strengthen the party. I have spoken to the grassroots and I made this decision based on their request.”

What a statement. This seems to be the favourite quote of our politicians in justifying why they are contesting a certain post. Entah nyah, I really wonder bukan ke ada pepatah melayu yang mengatakan ukur baju di badan sendiri and thus why our politicians seems to be blind of it or are they simply ignoring it.

Sebelum mengoffer diri for sesuatu jawatan, shouldn’t you ask yourself if you are indeed qualified. Do you have what it needs to hold the position? Shouldn’t that be the way. Malah dalam agama pun ada mengatakan bahawa memimpin itu satu amanah dan kita akan disoal di akhirat nanti.

Mak rasa terkedu to read how AZH justified his reasoning of going for umno deputy presidency. He said it was what the grassroots wanted so he is merely adhering to it. That makes me wonder, who is actually the so called grassroots … are they a bunch of people who are close to AZH?

Siapa dia AZH? Lupakah kita pada sejarah. 1998 what happened to AZH … lupakah kita about his ties with dsai … issue nepotism, tuduh tun m and alih alih tun m released the list ha terduduk AZH. And this is the guy who now wants to be our future deputy prime minister. Katanya the grassroots want him … bullshit

Is he qualified? Said who? Jadi menteri belum sampai setahun jagung lagi pun and yet dah bercita cita nak jadi dpm. Angan angan ke noks. Im getting sick and tired noks and I believe that I am not alone. There are many out there who would agree with me. It is sickening.

And lupakah kita pada the police report lodged against AZH by a guy who claimed hre was slapped and beaten by AZH who accussed the guy of having a relationship with anak perempuan AZH who was married and had problems with her husband. And yes inilah pemimpin kita ... please lahhh

Politicians should let the people decide and not a mere bunch of the so called grassroots. Tak cukup dgn AZH, si MMT pun berangan nak jadi DPM. Aiyoo noks lupakah kita pada what happened in Australia?

Why is this happening. To these clowns wake up lah noks tolonglah mak dah tak kuasa. And if you are talking about listening to what the grassroots want, well some members of ratu associates led by deputy and legal advisor, feel that ratu should also come forward and memimpin the country. They are also grassroots so should I also go around and say that “I too want to contest umno deputy presidency because that is what the grassroots want?”

cetusan hari lebaran dari ratu ... minnal aidil wal faizin

2008-10-02T04:36:00.000-07:00

It’s the second day of syawal and the day is almost coming to an end. In the next few days, minggu raya would soon come to an end. Perhaps, to say that time flies very fast might sound very clichéd but that remains the fact. It was not too long ago we were in august counting the days for ramadhan. Then it was first ramadhan. Pejam celik pejam celik syawal was approaching and there was the rush for last minute shopping, kuih raya, buka puasa and daging chronicles. And finally it was raya eve, raya daya and now raya is almost over although the raya open houses remain for a month.

Finally after four years, I got to spend raya with the family as from 2004 to 2007, due to work commitment, I only get to go back at night of the first raya. But for this year, I was back home two days before raya so sempat nak buka puasa with the family and tolong tolong apa yang patut for raya. Raya was a quiet affair and as we grow older that has been the case as it is only the time to meet up friends and family and to mengeratkan silaturrahim. But of course I had good time with the kids. However, I have to bersyukur that this time around, I was not surrounded by that melancholic loneliness maybe because I was with the family lah kan …

With raya over, October would be a most looked forward month as many things especially political dramas are set to take place and thus one can expect excitement to be in the air. Just hope that the drama would keep us entertained and nothing anti climax please.

Also to add on a bit, I managed to watch the rerun of one of my favourite cerekarama called “menantu mak dara” – I don’t feel like going to a detailed review of it. Enuff to say it was entertaining thanks to the great cast especially normah damanhuri, Sheila rusly, arash iskandar, bob azrai, aida aris, abby abadi, roy azman, sharifah shahora and tengku fauziah (am beginning to like this woman).

Finally to julia hanizam, I would like to welcome her to this blog. Check out juliahanizam.blogspot.com and entah kenapa rasa nak get to her better and maybe she can be part of us in ratu associates. To those of you yang tak baca lagi her blog please do so, it is entertaining. Also to ansareena, selamat dating noks ke ratu associates and tak lupa our new member kak dibah from alor staq … ratu and ahli ahli ratu associates mengalu alukan kedatangan you all dalam dunia kami yang tidak seberapanya ini …

Lastly, sempena hari baik bulan baik ini, ratu ingin menyusun sepuluh jari memohon ampun maaf kepada deputy, princess, secretary, legal advisor to the ratu, mak orang serta suami tercinta, abang n, queen mother, ratu of the 80’s/90’s era and sesiapa sahaja yang terbabit dalam ratu associates.

And to keep up to my words, as bulan puasa has left us, mulai entry akan dating, you all akan disajikan dengan gambar gambar yang delicious gitu … love you guys

Salam hormat dari ratu ....

being stylish or victim of fashion

2008-09-20T07:52:00.000-07:00

I was at The Gardens, Midvalley waiting for a friend as we were supposed to buka puasa together. Then a guy who was “healthier” (I wont use degrading words like fat or chubby) and shorter than me passed by me. What attracted me to him was the mini brown coloured kurta he was wearing with jeans. I donno lah guys but mini kurta has always turned me on.

But what I wanted to raise here is regarding a very pertinent question. Do we wear shirts that – 1. really suits our physical appearance 2. we regard as cool or fashion of the moment 3. we think makes us look good but in real fact it doesn’t and instead make us look teruk, to say the least.

I think many of us, yours truly included fall for choice no 2 and 3 and worse still no 3. that was what happened to that guy in kurta. The shirt did not do justice to him and instead it make him look like a ballon. But again that is his choice lah kan. I mean there is no rules and regulations that only slim or average sized people can wear certain shirts lah kan. Kite yang healthy ni pun nak wear certain baju lah kan…

bersahur dengan mcd

2008-09-19T05:03:00.000-07:00

It was about 12 something when ratu retired to bed. Tak adalah rasa ngantuk macam in the past few days. Suddenly I woke up and it was 3am. Tak boleh tidur pulak. So I went to the living hall and switched on the tv sambil what else if not bermain facebook.

Tetiba rasa lapar lak. Sebelum tidur actually mak dah bersahur. I had a glass of nestum. Bukan apa rasa kenyang lagik from buka puasa or sungkei bak kata orang Sarawak. Initially wanted to buy nasi lemak kat naga’s (the sambal tumis dia kan kow kow) but somehow bile sampai kat brickfields rasa malas lah. Gitulah adik adik kan.

So mak pun piker nak makan apa. Kat fridge tak ada apa sangat. So I decided to order mcd breakfast. Had burger sausage egg yang memang sedap plus scrambled eggs and bun with grape jam. Sedap noks. Sambil tu sempat main fb chatting dengan deputy.

On that note, had buka puasa with princess, ratu of the 80s/90s, z and s at ampang. Sorry beb gua tak ingat nama that restoran. The food was good and of coz we were busy feasting our eyes with this anak ikan yang datang dengan his family. Ingatkan mak sorang yang terkimas gitu tapi yang mulakan the whole thing was ratu of the 80s/90s. It was a fun session. Mak sayang u alls.

2008-09-18T08:07:00.000-07:00

Perwira...
Dikaulah harapan hati
Penghibur kala sunyi
Pergilah berbakti
Membela pertiwi

Perwira...
Janganlah kekanda bimbang
Untuk pergi berjuang
Andainya kau gugur
Jasamu dikenang

Dengarlah lagu kucipta
Gubahan mesra nan manja
Sebagai ganti diri
Bersama kau berbakti
Untuk ibu pertiwi

Kekanda di medan perang
Adinda di medan seni
Sama-sama berjuang
Sama-sama berbakti
Semoga tabah hati

Majulah kekanda maju jangan undur
Dinda mohon doa restu
Rela sehidup semati bersamamu
Perwiraku

seketika bersama ratu associates

2008-09-16T09:59:00.001-07:00

Ratu had buka puasa with the princess, mak orang and abang n today. Actually az was supposed to join us bit couldn’t make it at the last minute. Also am was to be there thanks to princess tapi ratu dengan mak orang confident gile babs that she wont make it and in fact ratu expressed my views to princess. In the end, we were proven right that am did not turn up. Not only that but she did not even replied to princess punya sms. We wanted to invite secretary but it seems that she was off.

We settled for restoran nirvana maju as abang n and ratu wanted to eat rice. Tapi after sitting down, abang n was not too comfortable thanks to the grumpy akak seated next to him (who kept bugging the waiters with the question – boleh order kah). So we decided to move to devi’s corner. While we were waiting to buka puasa, princess arrived just in time. After that, we adjourned to coffee bean.

It was interesting lah dok bincang bincang and borak borak. Mak orang wanted more information on the set up of ratu associates. She expressed her appreciation to the ratu for accepting her as part of the prestigious ratu associates. However, she also voiced her views that she wanted a chznge in her title as mak orang as she felt it did not suit her and kurang glamour. Since ratu dengan mak orang go back a long way, maka ratu membuat ketetapan untuk menurut kata hati mak orang although I feel that the title perfectly suits her. We went through a few suggestions but could not find an appropriate title for her. Mak orang suggested that she be known as “kawan kepada adik adik” but that title macam kurang umpph. So for the time being, she would continue using the title mak orang until we can find something more suitable for her. So to all others, if you have a title which you think would suit her best, please inform the ratu …

Finally, before I forget, I am sure that you guys are aware that on Monday, the country’s top two leaders had a four hours discussion on the proposed transition of power which is scheduled in 2010. Following that, last night, the ratu and deputy had a 30-minutes discussion on the succession plan for ratu associates. Deputy pledged his undivided loyalty and support to the ratu to lead the country and that he wont allow himself to be manipulated by any quarters to go against the ratu. And in return, the ratu promised and assured the deputy that he would no doubt be the successor to the ratu at the time that the ratu is ready to step down. We did not fix any time frame on this. Ratu also promised that when the deputy helms the country, he would have a free hand to make decisions and there wont be any interference from the ratu. We both also agreed that when deputy decides to retire, the baton would be then passed over to waris ratu who in return would later after her reign, handle it over to deputy punya waris. This might lead to a question, where does it leave princess in all this … well princess would get to keep her title and when she decides to retire, the title can be passed over to her waris …

Lastly, I have said this again and again and I am repeating it. Ratu is lucky to have a deputy who puts the rakyat before anything interest especially his self. This is indeed a great sacrifice. Deputy would surely go down history for his unselfish act …if only pak lah or tun m had such a deputy …

buka puasa miak sarawak

2008-09-14T23:06:00.000-07:00

Miak in bahasa Sarawak means budak. Recently through facebook, ratu had joined a group called miak Sarawak. The group founder suddenly appointed me as the ceo. Mak pun menerima perlantikan mak dengan penuh keinsafan dan kesedaran bahawa it was indeed a big responsibility. Dan sememangnya I was born a leader lah kan kalau tak masakan jadi ratu kan kan…

So, as among our pioneer activities, we decided to do an informal buka puasa on Sunday at cozy corner, ampang park. However, it seems the secretary forgot to make a booking so when we arrived at the venue at 5pm it was full. Thus, we decided to settle for manhattan fish market instead. There were about eight of us. It was fun meeting up orang kampung and borak borak. We are also planning to have a hari raya open house insyallah …

these pictures here are of what i had for buka puasa - grilled seafood and ice lemon tea

finally, before i forget there are two things i wanna say:
1. to secretary - thanks for your comments that "with or without the kumis you are still the ratu" - well of course lah kan

2. to princess who said "stoplah letak gambar makanan yang sedap sedap, menguji keimanan betul blog hang ni" - nyah korang ni kenapa, mak letak gambar jantan nak main korang kata tak tahan tengok so sempena bulan puasa mak pun berhenti jap. ni gambar makanan pun korang tak tahan ke nyah. puasa is all about menghadapi cabaran dan dugaan la nyah ...

antara lelaki dan wanita ... cabaran yang dihadapi

2008-09-12T06:40:00.000-07:00

The deputy wrote in his blog recently under the heading - "Finally, I have something to write about"- on his experience playing a drag queen named Cik Tipah. Deputy said: "I had fantasies of wearing women's clothes when I was younger--for sheer curiosity. I've always wondered what it's like to wear high heels. Man, it's tough acting as a transvestite dressed in flowing knee-length skirt and extra tight blouse. Memang susah berlakon jadi perempuan ok, walaupun perempuan jadian."

I am not in the position to comment as I have never been drag in my entire life and I dont ever wish to be one even if to act in a scene. Back in 1999, we had our 10th school reunion and one of the performances was a drag queen contest where even normal guys took part. Some of my friends asked me to act as well but I stood my grounds and told them no. Looking back, I am thankful to god as pictures of that event is now being posted on the facebook. Just imagine if I had indeed gave in to their request ... Thus, whether or not it is susah to be a woman i leave it to the real women to answer - mereka yang berkelayakan ialah mak orang, princess, secretary to the ratu associates, legal advisor, kawan kepada ratu, queen mother and ratu of the 80s/90s era.

However, what I want to say is nak jadi lelaki/adik adik pun bukan mudah and I am sure deputy would agree on this - regarding having beard/goatee and mostache atau berkumis/bermisai dan berjanggut. Ratu dari dulu tak suka benda benda ni cause it makes me look matured (and not tua) as I believe bile tak ada benda benda ni you look clean and most importantly young. So I have not been in a habit of bermisai/berkumis/berjanggut/gaotee/moustache except for one or two occasions. Recently there was a picture of me berkumis posted over fb which was taken in 1999. Secretary on seeing it had suggested that ratu kembali ke era itu. Taking in her views and atas pandangan peminat, ratu decided to grow moustache/goatee and of course it looked well as ratu banyak terima pandangan dari rakyat jelata memuji my new looks. And of course, have to admit everytime I saw myself on the mirror, I looked macho and sexy.

Tapi nyah it was not easy. The first two or three days was okay but on the fourth and fifth day rasa semacam je noks. Bile your hand touches your face, aiyooo very the tajam mah ... and thus my conclusion here is bukan nak jadi wanita je susah noks nak jadi jantan or adik adik pun susah juga ... so statement ratu di sini adalah maybe kite harus stick to being who we are actually and who we are meant to be ... fikirkanlah dan renungkanlah bersama ... sebarang pandangan amat dialu alukan ...............

cinta datang lagi ... dalam persimpangan

2008-09-10T14:00:00.000-07:00

It was about 2.00++am, I just had my sahur, watched tv and finished updating my facebook. It was time to call it a day. So ratu pun masuk kamar, switched off the lights and lied on the bed. Suddenly without my realization, I grabbed the handphone and began dialing a number.

To my surprise, he picked up the phone and asked how was I. He then suddenly asked if I wanted to meet him. I asked bile and he replied; “nowlah, you temankan I bersahur. I pick u up kat rumah u in 20 minutes.”

I told myself, yelah tu, I mean I did not trust him. Lagipun it was over between us. History. Full stop. So I decided to just sleep. Shortly later I woke up all of a sudden. I grabbed my hp and saw two sms from him – one said that he was near by my house and the other asked where I was.

Oh my god, I was clueless. I called him and he said that he was at the carpark. Gulp … and here I was in bed. I got up rushed to wash my face, sikat rambut, pakai jeans and rushed off to see him in the car. I terlupa nak even change my shirt and put on perfume.

I opened the door and got in. I avoid looking at his face. He was wearing a cap. I noticed muka dia cengkung … dulu pun dia kurus but the last time I saw him in novemeber last year, pipi dia baru start kembang. Berisi sikit. He was wearing a white t shirt and shorts … basah mak.

“Hye princess … how are you. I love your new looks.” – That was his opening remarks and of course that was enuff to cairkan me kan. I just tersipu and tunduk malu. He asked me apa I nak makan and I told him that it was up to him. So, we went to pelita nasi kandar. He ordered milo ais and maggi goring while I had mee goring and milo ice. He asked me kenapa I tak nak tengok muka dia. He had long hair. He asked me why I suddenly called him. I told him that I did not have the answer. He said that he was driving aimlessly when I called. He said that he stopped calling me as the last time we spoke a couple of months ago, I sounded macam no longer interested in him.

We went on talking and talking. He said there were many occasions when he missed me and wanted to call me but stopped doing so because I did not sound enthusiastic and did not entertain him the last time that he called me. He also apologized to me for hurting my feelings the last time I called him couple of months ago. He said that he missed me and wanted me back in his life. I was just dumbfounded. Suddenly he took my hands and kissed it. Hello, we were at pelita nasi kandar in bangsar at 4plus am but he could not be bothered. Of course the crowd was there but he was not bothered and so were the crowd. He then dropped me back home.

I just don’t know what to say lah nyah. The main problem with us in the past is the age difference. Hello, he was 12 years my junior. He was never serious. He was like a kid. There I would be going on giving long ceramah and he would be putting on a blur face or asking some questions which were not related at all. He drove me crazy at times. I don’t want to go through all that again. I just had enuff so I figured. Aku dah tak larat. But again, I just cant bring it upon me to tell him ok enuff is enuff and please leave me alone. I cant. A part of me wants him while the other part wonders if I can put up with things …

Finally, this I have to thank ratu associates secretary. I opted for my new looks – the kumis and jambang – based on her suggestion although I did not knew what I was doing. But somehow, it has been working as I have been getting many compliments. But the best of them was what he said to me – “I just love your new looks. You make me horny. Please maintain it .. please ok … janji tau … stim I …”

pabila the real diva bersuara ...

2008-09-09T09:35:00.001-07:00

Anyone can dream or aspire to be the diva. There is no stopping one. But being diva is something natural as you are born a diva. You cannot suit yourself or learn to be a diva. To me, there are very few divas around. Madonna is one. And of course fauziah ahmad daud or ogy. Being a diva comes with a certain degree of arrogance, ego, air about how great you are. And you have all the right to feel so because you know that you are good, you are great. Simply irrestible...

However, the greatest diva of all time is no doubt my idol kak pidah. There can never be a second kak pidah. If only Malaysia was open enuff to accept a woman as a prime minister, she would be the one. The leader to stir us to great heights. the only one who can take over from where ayahanda tun m left us. unfortunately we malaysians are not that open and due to that we have lost a great leader – kak pidah.

A few days ago, ratu berpeluang berbicara dengan kak pidah. She is in a legion of her own. The one and only. She spoke about racial tension in the country but unlike statements by other leaders, what kak pidah said was indeed classic. Here, ratu reproduce some of the things that kak pidah said ...

“I also pendatang you know as my oyang datang dari sumatera. Tapi jangan soal diri saya atau ibu bapa saya kerana mereka lahir di sini and ini tak kira keturunan.

“I can understand when people talk about your grandfather like mine also lah. I still remember my great grandfather came from across. I never take offence because that is the past but don’t ever talk about me as pendatang.

“Some of my friends say my grandfather come from India that is him, not me, I am a strong Malaysian."

Finally, I just want to reproduce what princess wrote in her blog – “friends yang, lepas makan, semua tinggalkan meja and lepak at the hall sesuka hati (and buat macam rumah sendiri)… friends yang bersama-sama mengemaskan meja dan mencuci pinggan before we leave… friends yang berhugging-hugging each time we all bertemu dan sebelum berpisah.”

rumahmu ... rumahku jua

2008-09-08T09:07:00.000-07:00

The annual majlis berbuka puasa ratu associates was held successfully on Monday evening where else if not kediaman rasmi your majesty the ratu. What was interesting about this year’s gathering was the theme “rumahmu … rumahku jua” which describes the act of some individuals who decided to become the hosts (for more details please meet the ratu). Those present were the ratu, princess, secretary, legal advisor to the ratu and lelaki. Also invited were mak orang, kawan kepada ratu dan tetamu jemputan – who all however could not make it. The absence of deputy yang berada di luar negeri atas urusan rasmi kerajaan was clearly felt and missed. Somehow it is sad that deputy could not join us. Tapi perlu disedari bahawa pengorbanan mulia deputy yang mementingkan kewajipannya terhadap nusa, bangsa dan agama melebihi kepentingan peribadi adalah amat dihargai and would go down the country’s history.

As usual, the evening started with a trip to bazaar ramadhan bangsar. Ratu ditemani princess, secretary and lelaki as legal advisor lewat. Lelaki berbisik kepada ratu mengatakan somehow tak banyak orang kat bazaar ramadhan and tak banyak choice of food. Princess added that bazaar ramadhan bangsar has lost its charm over the years. And ratu being a permenant resident of bangsar could not agree more. As the ratu had said before, this year kurang orang and gerai lah nyah – blame it on the economy. Kite orang pun tapaulah ikan terubok bakar, murtabak, air cincau, sambal sotong, sambal udang, ikan masin, ikan masin masak lobak, kuih muih, potato and ikan bilis, kuih muih and a host of others. Juga lelaki bought ayam golek from his area. Atas cadangan lelaki, secretary diberi tugas memasak nasi di rumah ratu and must say that she did a good job.

After berbuka puasa, we had a short meeting untuk membincangkan urusan pentadbiran ratu associates. Keputusan dicapai bahawa keanggotaan ratu associates terdiri daripada ratu, deputy, princess, secretary to ratu associates and legal advisor to the ratu. Manakala the associate members terdiri daripada mak orang, kawan kepada ratu (chel), advisor 1 (sn), advisor 2 (rs), queen mother (mo) and ratu of the 80’s/90’s era (fi). There is strictly no addition to this list. Princess ada membawa usul tentang permohonan keahlian two members of the public but usul berkenaan ditolak sebulat suara. Keputusan ini adalah muktamad and sebarang rayuan tidak akan dilayan.

Meanwhile, remember my story (below) about the interview with kak m. Somehow it did not take off as kak m was not prepared and requested that it be held at some other time. Kak m suggested that we do it at her office as she wanted me to come there. I told mak orang about the situation and that I didn’t mind if they wanted to get someone else to do it. Since Sunday, kak m has been calling me and asking me when im going to set the interview. Just a few hours ago, mak orang called up and said that kak m insisted that she wants me to do the interview. Mak terharu nyah. Hidup kak m … ratu sayang kamu…

salam sakratulmaut

2008-09-07T09:17:00.000-07:00

I was at home on Sunday and while switching tv channels, I was attracted to astro ria’s offering salam sakratulmaut – well with such a title and the fact that it starred the hunky aqasha and was directed by Rashid Sibir. I was 30 minutes late into the drama but I figured out the story. It was about rich playboy aqasha who is forced by his dear mother azizan makhzan to marry poor village girl norkhairiah. Aqasha has a good friend zulhuzaimi with who he socializes with. As the story has it, norkhairiah gets pregnant and eventually gives birth. Unable to hide the truth and feeling guilty, she then confesses to aqasha that the baby is not his and that she was raped by zulhuzaimi. Aqasha refuses to believe that his best friend had betrayed him and instead accuses her of lying and chases her out of the house with the baby. Soon later zulhuzaimy is diagnosed of hiv positive and as he is driven by guilt, he confesses to aqasha that he had indeed raped norkhairiah. Aqasha then regrets his action and goes to norkhairiah’s house to bring her back. When he arrives there, he ……..(not to be revealed)

Acting wise, all the characters did their best but at times their acting resembled their performance in some previous efforts. however, somehow i felt more could have been done. The watak watak macam tak berkembang. When you started feeling for the characters, the drama comes to an abrupt ending. it was good that there was no overdue emotional scenes and melodrama but that too resulted in you not feeling emotional enuff. As soon as the drama ended you only felt sad for seconds and then the pain was gone. That was sad indeed. Somehow, of late I feel that Rashid sibir kurang menyerlah. His works are good but the impact is less. He seems to stick to the recycled formula and that at times results in irritation. Like the effort last night was good but he should have put in more effort to make it more impactful.

Was in a conversation with mak orang the other day and she seemed disturbed with the current political situation in the country. Masih terngiang ngiang di telinga mak what mak orang said: “Nyah, why do we have to have malays, Indians and Chinese. Why cant we all be Malaysians. I fully agree with mak orang but the problem is we are now divided and you just cant deny that fact. And who is responsible for it if not our politicians. Now people seem to view the other races with a bit of suspicion. Scenes of friends from different races lepakking at mamak stalls is indeed fun to watch. Can we just put everything aside and go back to those old days when we mix together freely regardless of one’s race.......

antara kak m dan kak nab ... cerita mereka ....

2008-09-06T07:10:00.000-07:00

A couple of days ago mak orang told me that her husband asked if I would like to interview kak m. The reason being since I know kak m, I could handle her. I told mak orang that I didn’t mind as I was free on the time the interview was scheduled and furthermore I am comfortable with kak m. Cuma my only worry was that I was not familiar with kak m punya portfolio and I might not be able to do a good job. However, mak orang convinced me that it should not be a problem. That nite, mak orang faxed me the questions and on reading them I felt easy as the questions were more to a personality piece. The issues relating to her portfolio were rather general in nature.

There arrangement was that I would talk to kak m after her programmme was over. So there I was attending a function officiated by kak m. When I walked in, kak m was halfway giving her speech. I was rather keen on seeing kak m giving her speech as all these while throughout eight years knowing kak m, I have never seen her “in action”. I only spoke to her on several occasions and itupun over the telephone. But I have heard a lot from other media friends about kak m punya performance in her previous portfolio where she served in a different capacity. She was known to be a chatterbox and friendly and she was reported to be an expert in her portfolio besides being committed.

So sitting listening to speech kak m was a different experience. It has been a long time I attended such functions. But somehow within minutes, I felt something funny. It was obvious that kak m was trying her best and at times it became trying too hard – to an extend of making a fool of herself. What was obvious was kak m was yet to get into her new portfolio – dalam kata melayu, kak m belum menjiwai watak baru dia. That was the problem, you can clearly feel that she was out of place. At times, her experience serving in the previous portfolio came in handy but it was not sufficient. Kak m seemed to have learned certain things about her new portfolio but she was not ready yet. She just fell short of it.

I felt sorry for kak m. Yes she had done her homework but something more was needed. In the end, kak m punya speech became merapu rapu. There was a time when she started relating her experience and went on to say how she loved to sing a particular song when she was young. Kak m then said : “mungkin saya perlu menyanyikan lagu itu di sini …. Tetapi tak apalah mungkin lain kali”. Thank god as I just could not have imagined if kak m had actually went on to sing. Kak m gave a speech for thirty minutes and I just wondered whether she realized that no one was paying attention to her and she was talking for herself. Syok sendiri.

Then kak m went on to drop another bombshell. This time around, before she concluded her speech, she thanked the private sponsors who had contributed to make the event a success. She then said: “macam beras jasmine. Semalam saya pergi pasar raya di kuantan. Saya beli beras basmathi jasmine dan beras organic. Saya masak nasi carrot. Caranya cukup mudah, kite perlukan dua biji carrot yang kite kisarkan dalam mesin dan airnya kite masak sekali dalam nasi. Jadi hasilnya adalah nasi carrot.

I was stunned for a minute. Kak m was giving a speech and she was talking about nasi carrot which had nothing to do with her portfolio. It was as if langit dengan bumi bezanya. Entahlah nyah, my conclusion here is that before someone is given a responsibility, they should be judged if they are capable or otherwise. I do not really blame kak m as it was obvious she was not suited for this portfolio. It was just not her. Yes she has done her part but she failed to make it.

Before I conclude, thinking about kak m reminds me to kak nab. This story happened a long time ago. kak nab was in the same predicament like kak m – given a portfolio that did not suit her. I remember attending a function officiated by kak nab. There was kak nab sitting on the stage and while the organizers were giving a speech, kak nab was busy counting the gelang emas on both her hands. And then as the organizer went on to give a speech yang berjela jela, kak nab ended up using the pencil placed on the table to draw things on a piece of paper. From the looks on kak nab punya face, you can feel that she was telling herself – “apalah aku buat kat sini @ aku tengah boring ni”. Talking about that, I wonder what happened to kak nab. It was in 1997 that tragedy befall her – 11 years ago and there has not been any news about kak nab ever since then. I just hope that kak nab is somewhere out there and having the best of her life. Salam to kak nab…. Suddenly I miss kak nab… she suffered due to other people being overambitious...

anggerik ... aku dan dia

2008-09-05T07:42:00.000-07:00

Dah seminggu kite berpuasa. Time flies fast and it has been a week. Talking about the bazaar ramadhan this year especially the one in bangsar, one can clearly see the difference. People now no longer go out and buy food or eat outside. Even the number of stall operators dah kurang and this has got to do with the economy. People are careful with their spending which is sad because the kemeriahan macam kurang terasa.

On Saturday, ratu had buka puasa with an old friend who I last met 19 years ago – thanks to facebook. It was a wonderful reunion because this friend nama dia anggerik adalah jenis wanita berjiwa keadik adikkan macam mana mak orang, princess, secretary and legal advisor. So ratu felt very the comfortable with her. And we lepak for about four hours – bitching and gossiping etc. we went through memory land – zaman sekolah, we spoke about our old friends, about our school life and about the past. We spoke about people who we were close to once upon a time in our lives and how they have drifted apart and forgot the past. We also spoke about those who we were not close to but they are the ones who are close to us now. It was very nostalgic and emotional for the ratu. Dalam hati ratu, syukur alhamdulilah for giving me an opportunity to jumpa kawan kawan lama and to mengimbau kembali kenangan lampau. It is some friends who make up your day and bring happiness in your life. and as we are sarawakians, we decided to buka puasa with laksa sarawak in alexis, jalan telawi, bangsar ... lepas geram lah katakan....